Hi all,
Sorry for the long one. Jumping onto the Dec thread as I just had my first cycle on Nov 28th and I’m feeling a bit lost.
Quick rundown: 27-year-old with 1.2cm, Stage 1, Grade 3 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma diagnosed in July. Lumpectomy and Sentinal Lymphnode Biopsy in early October (clear lymphnodes and clean margins). Oncologist told me that the threshold for “high clinical risk” is a score of 4 - I scored 4.2 (so very borderline). Oncologist also said they advise for chemo to be given to anyone with a statistical benefit of 3% or more. My being at high clinical risk means I’d likely see a benefit of 3.1% (so very borderline again). I’m risk averse and was probably a little cocky, so opted to have chemo.
The plan is 3x 3-weekly EC and then 9x 1-weekly Paclitaxl. However, I’m seriously on the fence about whether to have my second cycle or not.
Cycle 1 has sucked so far, which I know is obvious but I guess I was hoping I’d handle it well because I’m young and (aside from cancer) relatively healthy.
Evening of day 3 I got very sick and I was hospitalised morning of day 4 for hypokalemia and hypophosphatemia (low phosphates and potassium). Overnight in hospital and discharged on day 5 (after 27hrs of various drips). Nausea, constapation, and sweaty hands and feet have also been REALLY fun.
Finally having a good day, feeling like my (mostly) normal self… and I find a blister/sore on my lip. I’m 99% sure its from me picking at my lip (bad habit that I now realise MUST stop), but I’m convinced it’s going to get infected or be the start of oral mucositis. So… a tiny lip sore sends me spiralling into “why is life so unfair” and “why do they say ‘fighting’ cancer when there is no absolute cure and it will come back and kill me one day anyway”.
Post-tearful-meltdown, I’m wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation, and did you carry on with chemo or did you stop? Did you feel it was the right choice? Is it always this damn scary, or will I learn to cope better? Is any tiny amount of benefit worth it because secondary recurrence might be looming?
Any advise is appreciated. I feel like I dont have enough life experience or perspective to be making these decisions.