Hi everyone! I have not been here for so long. And I want to welcome all of you, especially those who, like me in July, found this particular thread and online community that was better for me so many times than my dearest friends. Because this lot here just gets it all!
I had a journey of 2 lumpectomies in August and October and then a single mastectomy in mid November. I got diagnosed with 5 mm IDC Her2 positive, Er positive and pr negative in July, nearly 6 months ago as 42 years old who felt a tiny lump. All this with then an 8 year old and luckily a supportive partner ( who started a new job after 10 years somewhere else exactly on the day of my diagnosis). Throughout the 3 surgeries around 10 cm of DCIS got discovered that ended up in a decision about single mastectomy. I lost my breast and my nipple and currently I have an expander in, I had 2 fills and still 2 to go already delayed over a month. Living qith expander is so hard but it gets easier, we get accustomed to it I guess in the same way you get an uncomfy tooth filling at first…
I wrotw the summary above as the time after my mastectomy was so dark. I continued to walk, I continued to try to live but stayed very withdrawn almost defeated and consumed by fear of the oncology. My final pathology confirmed my her2 plus tumour as 5 mm and I was told that hormonal therapy is a must and with chemo I need to make an informed choice. Then they asked me to wait again for 4 weeks. For the 6 months of my cancer I did not kniw about what will be be treatment. It was a torture.
I met my oncologist on Xmas Eve in the morning and she said that the risks of chemo are 1.7% as opposed to 0.6% benefit, same for herceptin and that they do NOT recommend it.
Then she said I cannot have Tamoxifen due to other underlying conditions and that I could take Zoladex but again the gain was 1% and she said the side effects are not worth it. She said even if I tried Tamoxifen or Zoladex I could have stopped after one take as they would not push for me to stay on it.
She said that no treatment will come as their recommendation so we are really all treated so individually as I saw only a few people like that here on BC forum.
Unexpectedly, I just have the reconstruction process left which will be long and I am left so empty handed but happy I don’t need anything else. I learn to trust it’s a good decision recommended by my team.
I am staying off work for a month or 2 still as I feel a massive trauma is running off me like crazy. I need to unpack it. And it’s a lonely place.
When I went to the cancer centre, while waiting, I heard one lady ringing a bell surrounded by loved ones. I like to think this was my quiet and totally unexpected bell. I was so not expecting in few minutes I will be suddenly told that I do not need treatment after being prepped for it for 6 months.
I don’t know how life will be after this all but for those of you so close to me throughout last month I just want to say thank you! I could not get the feeling of safety like scrolling through this thread and reading tour kind replies and advice nowhere else.
I am keeping my fingers crossed for us all and if I can be useful at any point for anyone I will!!!
Ladies it’s not a total end for me but it nearly is. It was a Xmas miracle for our family x