Hi @summary57
I feel for you. I often think, if they can’t be bothered neither can I. Sometimes people ask how you are, but not prepared for an answer other than “I’m fine thanks”. I now say “plodding on” or “still ticking” or “getting by” which neither says I’m fit and well, but doesn’t indulge my problems.
People expect you to be OK once the surgery, chemo or radiotherapy has finished, and if you tell them otherwise, you somehow feel like a hypochondriac. Truth is, people dont know what it’s like until they are in the same place, and even then there is no “one size fits all” as we are all different.
The word Cancer also scares everyone and perhaps they don’t know how best to speak to you without causing upset or offence - but by doing so, it then appears they are not interested and uncaring.
Question is, how do you make things better….I’m no expert, but I’ve always been told to try talking first. If you feel comfortable, perhaps have one more go at talking to them. Explain you are not trying be rude or awkward or attention seeking, but the treatments you are on have long term effects. Restate that you are finding things difficult and ask again if they can help (it’s their son/daughter if I read that correctly). If you don’t get help, your partner will also suffer, making a bad situation even worse.
If all fails, sometimes it best to distance yourself and use other sources for help and support. You don’t need extra stress. Try the helpline on BCN or MacMillan they have lots of advice and ideas for difficult situations. This forum is good, if you just need to chat. Even speak to social services and see what they can provide. Your GP may have some suggestions, or medications to help. If you are working, consider changing your schedule…your employers are legally obliged under Equality Act to take your diagnosis into consideration.
Lastly from me, put off anything that can wait, and use that pocket of time to rest or have a nap. Even a short break can make a difference. Make sure you are eating well and drinking fluids. Try to fit in a bit of time outside, fresh air and a stroll can work wonders.
Hope you find a solution and way forward x