1 Year anniversary

Hi Ladies… Haven’t been on here for a while, but as my first anniversay is looming I thought I’d pay a visit.

On 27th Sept its a year since I found my Lump, although I finished Chemo in March this year, its a bit of a milesetone for me and I’m getting a wobble on.

Have a routine check up on Weds, but its the first Mammo in November thats realy scaring me. I check myself 4 times a day and have done for a year! I can’t feel any lumps or bumps, but after a mastectomy, my good breast is doing my head in as I haven’t got anything to compare it to! Not bothered about recon at the mo, in fact Id sooner have the other one off, I don’t see them as an asset anymore, but more of a risk. I’m just so grateful for being here.

Got a holiday booked to Oz at Xmas, which I had to cancel last year coz of this, and I’m so scared I’m going to have to cancel again if I don’t get the all clear in November. Does this feeling get easier at every anniversary?

Hope you have all come out at the other side unscathed.
Take care
Mandy xx

Oh Mandy, I really feel for you. I can’t say I’ve come out the other side unscathed - there always seems to be an occasion for me to remember an anniversary - the first time I noticed the lumps, the first time I mentioned it co-incidentally to someone - anyone - at all, the first time I confided in someone close to me about my real concerns etc etc etc - but I do know that feeling of anxiety that you appear to be describing as you approach your first mammogram. I had my first mammogram (on my remaining breast) in February this year and I am already beginning to ‘look forward’ to my next one in February next year. Unfortunately, no one can take that anxiety away and I’ve come to the conclusion that I just have to accept that periodically I am going to feel apprehensive about this or about that but I do wish you all the best at your check up tomorrow and your mammogram in November.

Look after yourself, Naz

I was diagnosed in Oct 2006 and had my first post treatment mammo on New Year’s Eve 2007. I remember at the time thinking it was an awful thing to have hanging over me going into the New Year as I had to wait until 10th Jan for the results - on the day I completely panicked and left the x-ray room via the wrong changing room door. There was another woman there and the only way to get to the right changing room for my belongings was via the x-ray room, so I was nearly in tears. The other lady was an older person and she said “don’t worry dear, we’ll wait till the radiographer comes and we’ll get this sorted out”. She then went on to tell me she had been cancer free for 7 years. I like to think that maybe I was supposed to meet that lady as I was feeling so nervous attending the hospital that day. It does get better as time goes on.

What a lovely way of looking at it, Cherub - these chance encounters can often be more fateful than we perhaps think.

Mandy, I hope the check up goes well today. I have mine tomorrow - and a tatoo for the third time.

naz