Glad to hear from you all and know you are doing mostly ok.
Helena, thanks for the big tough knickers, just what I am going to need when I go for my annual check up. I’m not sure if they will do a mamogram at that stage my BC Nurse just said it depends. She didn’t specify what it depends on…
Yes it is hard to beleive it is a year since I was diagnosed and had my operation and treatment. Somebody in church this morning said that it must be very hard not to be terrified it was back everytime you have any aches or pains. I said that much to my surprise I have found out that I am stronger than I thought, and she looked impressed but now I feel like a terrible fraud because I have had lots of noisy melt down moments. I might have to go and confess…
Isn’t it beautiful weather today! That in itself is enough to make me feel cheery and optimistic.
We didn’t get to see the hut circles as we were’nt nearby. But we did go to Plas yn Rhiw, which is a beautiful National Trust property set overlooking a bay. There had been a building on the site for maybe a couple of thousand years, evident because the foundations are set in roman concrete. It was very homily and atmospheric and matched very well with the house in a Barbara Erskine novel I was reading when we were there. Just our sort of thing as well because there is a recently planted orchard of heritage Welsh apple trees.
Strangely we were camped near somewhere called Tudweilliog, I didn’t realise when we booked but that is where my Mum was evacuated to in 1943 which seemed pretty spooky. The weather was lovely while we were there.
I was reading your comments about fatigue, I get the feeling you love your job but would you like to retire? I did enjoy my job which I found fascinating (although some of it was difficult) but I have to say I am loving retirement! I did about 3 hours strimming on the field this morning and feel pretty tired now but as you point out it doesn’t matter because I haven’t got to struggle through a day at work tomorrow. Is fatigue do you think a ‘women’s’ thing? I first experienced it when I had two tiny children and it’s been coming and going for years, very often linked to depression.
Anyway I’m wishing you a good and happy week ahead. Gillx
Hi everyone…fatigue gets me right fed up sometimes too…everything seems such a struggle.Even days where I don’t have any strenuous or unpleasant to do- what used to be easy days- I end up feeling like I’ve run a marathon
Its inconsistent as occasional days I can walk a fair way and move not too badly.Others I feel knackered from the minute I get up! Joint pains in my feet ankles knees and hip don’t help.Add hot flushes,bad sleep aching back and I’m ready for the knackers used. Seem to spend my time currently wanting to get home to the couch.Work 20 hours a week now which is fairly spaced out so I get a rest.Some jobs would be out of the question now energy wise.I’m shattered after I’ve changed my bed linen.Year check next month but am just assuming this is all normal.I take vitamins but as a lot of mine is joint based I don’t think energy supplements would help?i’m on my feet and up and down stairs at work but keep quiet as I don’t want people to think I"m unfit to work and no-one really gets the after effects do they?
Hi treeze
Yes, I get fed up struggling through the day too!
I take a multi vitamin each day and a cod liver capsule. Not sure they’re working!
I’ve got a check up in December…am on letrozole and zoladex. Seems to get progressively harder?
Sue xx
Hi Sue…you have my sympathy.I know we’re strong but sometimes it gets a bit much! I’m on anastrozole one year so far and bone infusions every 6 months but missed the last one due to dental issues.
Good to hear from you. But sorry to hear you are struggling with fatigue and joint pain. I’m also coming up to my first annual check-up and although I manage to spend most of my time not thinking about it I am becoming anxious.
I’ve been on tamoxifen for almost a year now and I do get hot moments (quite long moments occasionally) and I do occasionally have achey hands and feet it’s manageable and seems to concentrate on areas where I know I have previous damage. But it does all make me feel older if you see what I mean.
I always blame the tamoxifen but I wonder if I would be feeling this way anyway.
I had my appointment with the surgeon yesterday, and have a date for another operation to try to get some symmetry. My poor nipple is going to be moved again, that’s both will have been in three different places…but hopefully they’ll be roughly in line at the end of it!
I look back to nearly a year and a half ago, I had no idea that I’d be letting myself in for all this.
Sorry I haven’t been blogging but have read your messages. I’m glad you are reasonably happy Dizzy - you deserve it!
I’ve had the result of my mammagram 11 months on and thankfully it was clear. I have a follow up in December. I’m still waiting on a cervical smear which has taken weeks so I guess it’s ok. I’ve been doing really well at work but come home exhausted and try to recharge weekends and evenings. Last weekend (after a particularily successful but busy week) I felt even more tired; went in on Monday, just about got through then Tuesday it only took a couple of unhelpful comments re work and I crumbled. Still off today as I am devoid of energy and miserable. I can’t decide if this is my 20 years ongoing depression, chronic fatigue or both. It’s really frustrating because outwardly I was doing well so people start forgetting (and I hate harping on about being tired). It won’t be a year since radiotherapy finished until end of January. So do I retire? Don’t want to; apart from losing 4 years pay, I love my job. I think I’m going to have to talk to the boss about them having contingency plans if this happens again - makes me feel weak. Sorry to blither on but i can say it all to you guys. xxxJak
So, I’m still off sick and feeling blue. Went for check up at hospital yesterday - bawled my eyes out the entire time! Apparently I have lymphoedema in my boob. They didn’t seem too bothered, I thought it was something that could be a problem for life?? Anyway I looked it up and I suppose, as long as there is no infection, it can be persuaded away by massage. I’m not going back on Anastozole as, now I’ve been off it for 6 months, there’s no evidence that there is any benefit - if anything crops up they’ll deal with it. I was given the option to be seen in 3 months but I felt the normal 6 would be OK or I would think there’s something wrong! The consultant wasn’t at all happy with my ‘mental state’ plus the fatigue - said it wasn’t good enough so she arranged for me to talk to the BCN. Got told off for thinking I shouldn’t phone them because I thought I should be OK by now. She’s put my name down for the moving on course which will be in Feb. I also got back in touch with Breast Care Haven because I didn’t finish my sessions there. I’ve been told to treat these sessions as medical appointments and not to think I shouldn’t take time off work. Speaking of work - I got really upset when it was suggested I might cut my hours (very kindly and for all the right reasons). I just want to get through this and get back to normal. The consultant has told me to invent a new me and start from there as I won’t be the same as before. Seeing my GP on Friday bit worried he might want to change my antidepressants.
Well I guess they may not be worried about the lymphedema, which is reassuring. But it is something you have to take on board, another side effect to add to all the others, it is an emotional thing. Hopefully you’ll get some good advice for how to manage it to avoid problems. You sound like you’re really struggling with fatigue, and the knee must make it all even harder. As Helena says, would it work to reduce your hours?
Anyway, sending you hugs my friend, and hope you feel better soon.
Seeing GP tomorrow. I don’t feel in the right frame of mind to discuss permanently cutting hours - need to protect my hard earned small pension so need to get it right. xx Jak
Hi all last years Winter Warmers, here’s wishing you all a gentle and warm Xmas with your nearest and dearest, and a happy and healthy 2018. Where all your problems, including the the BC related ones, become, oh I don’t know, manageble.
I haven’t been on here recently, mainly because as the result of that blood test I had in the summer which showed a raised CEA level the NHS have been subjecting me to a barrage of tests and it’s been doing my head in. Anyway I went to see the consultant at the Norfolk and Norwich today and he said that even though I’ve had the most advanced tests currently available they can’t find any sign of cancer. Yippee. Although I feel kind of drained… Anyway they will repeat the blood test in the summer but apparently some people have a raised level without problems and they really don’t know why. Happy Xmas indeed. It really has been a torturous process.
Ironically my first follow up mammogram is due on the 27th Dec. I could have cancelled it but I thought it would give me an afternoon off from my Mum who is coming for quite a long stay this Xmas. Lol.
But I’ve just been reading your updates. Jak, I’m so sorry you are struggling, but I have to say I am a couple of years younger than you and I’m glad I’m not working. I feel like I got through the BC treatment ok but I know I don’t have the stamina I used to have and especially this time of year the tiredness and cold is exhausting. So a demanding job on top of everything is a lot to try to do. I’ve suffered from depression in the past and being tired and feeling like you are struggling makes life hard going. Be kind to yourself. I so hope you will start feeling stronger soon. Xxxxxxxxxxxx. Huuuuuuuuuug!
Dizzy, phew! I am so glad the operations are over for you. Well done, I thought you did really well not to have got very cross with them after the last one. Are you happy with the results? Are you still sore or did it all settle down ok? Did you have a nice holiday? XXXXXXXXXX huuuuuuuug!
Helena, you are a star always here to support us with gentle positive words and good advice. What do you have planned for Xmas? XXXXXXXXXXX Huuuuuuug!
Do you remember our virtual party last xmas? I wonder how the others are doing.
Hi Everyone. So lovely to hear from you and to know you are still there. You have no idea what a support you have been!
So the Xmas invasion starts tomorrow with my Mum, daughter no. 2 and partner. The other daughter and family arrive Xmas morning. So I’m having a ‘there’ moment. As in… we’ll get there. Alan’s cooking tea, pressies all wrapped, bedrooms ready, all is calm all is bright.
I’ve just had a card from an old friend of mine who had bc about 6 years ago. She had her op on the 28th Dec, poor thing. She had chemo and the full works, she is still well and happy. It makes me feel so much better to hear it. Yup light ahead in the tunnel.
Dizzy, yes I’m on here for the long haul, I don’t think I could do it without you all.
Helena, I loved the photo of your dinner with the other ladies 1 year on. Fab and inspiring to know that they and me look just like any other lady in the supermarket, if you didn’t know you would have no idea.
I hope you all have the sort of holiday season that makes you peaceful and content. Much love, Gillx
Hello all, just thought I’d see how everyone is doing. Gill, hope the mammogram went okay, and Jak, how are things? Are you back at work?
I’ve had a bit of a wobbly few weeks, which I’m putting down to the time of year, and a bit of feeling sorry for myself for having another load of surgery. Which isnt really warranted, i just need to give myself a shake and stop dwelling on everything. I seem to recover physically pretty quickly, then I’m emotionally all over the place for months. But time to get a grip now.
It’s a couple of months since the symmetrising surgery, and I think I’m doomed never to be symmetrical. I’ve stopped wearing Bertha, but definitely still have a size difference, which makes choosing bras tricky as one cup wrinkles. But some styles make it less noticeable, it has to be stretchy fabric. And I’m still very conscious of the difference if I wear something fitted. Friends have told me they can’t see it, but my husband and my mother both say they can tell. So I’m hoping there’s still a bit more shrinkage to go, and on a diet to see if I can lose a bit that way.
Come to think of it, a bit of shrinkage all over would be an improvement, my tamoxifen tummy has got to go…
Hope you’re all well and looking forward to spring.
Seem to spend my time currently wanting to get home to the couch.Work 20 hours a week now which is fairly spaced out so I get a rest.Some jobs would be out of the question now energy wise.I’m shattered after I’ve changed my bed linen.Year check next month but am just assuming this is all normal.I take vitamins but as a lot of mine is joint based I don’t think energy supplements would help?i’m on my feet and up and down stairs at work but keep quiet as I don’t want people to think I"m unfit to work and no-one really gets the after effects do they?