Jan - Like you, I was prone to burst into tears in the strangest places in the early days - it just took me completely unaware. I think the further you get through the treatment you begin to recognise the ‘downer’ coming on lol.
my appetite and taste buds appear to be back to normal - had a yukky mouth following fec no3 - but it appears to have gone away? Just as well because the only thing that tasted normal during that time was chocolate !!
I have to confess (and this will make me sound liike some sort of lush haha) - I drink acohol no matter what tablets I’m taking - not to excess, we’re only talking a glass or two. But I do like my voddy and coke!
I had 2 wigs but I’ve donated one of them to the WIgBank in Edinburgh - it was awful! I just use buffs or bakerboy hats if I’m going out - and don’t bother in the house (unless it’s really cold). I went shopping this morning with a baker boy hat on - and it’s quite a windy, blustery day here in scotland - my hat went flying off my head and rolling up the street - I’m not sure which was funnier - me racing after my hat or the looks on the faces of the people as they clocked the big bald head!!
Oh and more news about my Ben Nevis climb - have just checked my fundraising page and I’ve raised £400 of the £450 required already - I’m so excited - heaven knows how much I can raise by October !!
Im feeling poorly my temp is 37.6-37.9, got a cough and cold, going to chemo unit tomorrow, fec number 2 is due next wed, but i really cant see it happening, hair departing rapidly, im wearing a pink terry towelling cap to stop it from falling all over the flat. Having my head shaved on saturday. OH being a love. Being teary, and pale. Been like this for 2 days now, and being ratty with OH, cause Im sooooooooooo tired.
I know it will pass but im rubbish at being ill. I will write when I feel perkier take care everyone.
Sorry to hear your feeling so poorly Julie - this treatment really does take it out of you have had a cold all week but have managed so far, fingers crossed to avoid any infections and temperature. Just take it easy and you’ll probably need a course of anti-biotics from the docs, kill all the b…d germs off once and for all !!!
Well Margaret you certainly sound like you have crossed thay horrible bridge you were on earlier in the week, lets hope you mood and your health stay good. I must admit I am the same as you with the ole tipple I have just carried on drinking - in fact no-one has told me to stop, I have read in other threads that some ladies have been advised against drinking - I would like to see them try and stop me, i think it is just about the only thing that keeps me sane, and thats saying something.
I have a bit of a predicament with my son (15 years old) as I explained earlier in the week he was being a sod, typical teenager, mood swings and attitude, well it seems its all a bit a charade. My ex husband has called me today and explained that George cannot cope with what is going on with me so he is being stroppy to try and hide how he feels, he is scared that I am going to die and cannot look me in the face cause, as has told his dad, I look so poorly ( I thought I looked quite good apart from the lack of hair but you know what they are like). I obviously need to talk to him but what do I say ? He says he feels he cannot tell me how he feels cause he thinks by doing so he’ll let me down - god this is so hard. We spend our lives protecting them and then something like this happens and we can’t protect them anymore from the harsh realities of life !!! I really don’t know what I am gonna say to him , I can’t lie to him and tell him everything will be OK - I need to think about this one long and hard.
Has anyone had any experience of this I could do with some suggestions, I’m drowning…
Sorry to hear that your son is finding your diagnosis difficult to cope with. There are a couple of websites that are especially designed for teenagers like your son to help them understand and deal with the situation better. These are:
Julie - so sorry you’re not well - I’ve had infections with all of my fecs so far - fortunately it hasn’t delayed any of my treatments - always seem to start about day 7 and, with antibiotics , clears up by the last week. I hope you soon feel better - good luck with the head shaving - when I did mine (which seems like agessssssssss ago now lol) it was actually quite liberating.
Jackie - I do feel for you - it is so hard to reassure your kids, when you don’t really know yourself where this journey is taking you. But rest assured - you are not drowning! - you are just sinking a little, and you will be afloat again soon ! (Oh and re the drink - it was the first thing I asked chemo nurse after first fec -‘I can still drink with this stuff can’t I?’ - her response was ‘in moderation’ - that was good enough for me !)
My kids are different ages to yours, my eldest is 21 and moved out last year to live with her boyfriend (they get married in July) - my youngest daughter will be 10 in March. I have to say - it is far easier to talk to the 10 year old than it is the 21 year old!! When I voiced my own fears to my oldest (as I thought I could cos she was old enough to understand) - she couldn’t grasp what I worried about - kept saying ‘But I was with you when the surgeon said they had got it all and that was that’ - when I explained that if they had ‘got it all’ they wouldn’t be throwing 6 months of chemo, a month of rads and a year of herceptin at it - she just clammed up and hasn’t discussed it since - other than to ask how i’m coping with the treatment. i think it’s just as well she doesn’t live at home any more! I know she finds it difficult - she has never been able to cope with illness, either her own or anyone else’s - her father died of lung cancer when she was 9, and I know she is just so frightened of losing me too that it is easier not to think about it.
The younger one on the other hand will talk about it all the time - and is unfortunately so forthright that we have already discussed what will happen to her ‘if mummy dies’ (though I have to say not without a lot of tears). When I first told her that I was ill, she was aware from school about cancer (in a very vague way) - and her first question was ‘Are you going to die’. I had thought long and hard about what to say if she asked this question, and how much she could understand. In the end I just explained to her that, while cancer could cause my death, the doctors were doing everything in their power to make sure that it didn’t, and that that was why I had to have the treatments that would make me a bit ill and a bit crabby (to say the least lol) and that we had to just hope that they worked.
I also explained that I would need her to help me more, and that I couldn’t run after her as much, and she’d have to get her own drinks and snacks and stuff etc etc. This immediately resulted in her suddenty needing me to do everything for her - it was like some sort of defence mechanism, where only mum would do - no one else could help her - I think it was just her way of keeping me close, and proving that it was going to happen her way and no other way!
She seems very accepting of the situation now, and has shown a maturity way beyond her years. She still gets frightened sometimes, and asks why the doctors are hurting me if they want to make me better - and we just go through the process again explaining about good cells and bad cells etc and she seems satisfied.
I have my last fec on 30th jan, then on 21 feb I start radiotherapy - unfortunately my health board don’t do radiotherapy, so I have to travel up to Edinburgh and stay away from home Mon - Fri - she is currently starting to ‘play’ on this one - insisting that I can’t go. Heaven help her dad while I’m away - she’ll run rings round him lol
I do hope you find the right words to say to him - I would look at some of the leaflets Jo has suggested, I read through the BCC one and the macmillan stuff before i spoke to my youngest - they did help.
How are you all doing, how are your bloods this week ? I have just had my mine checked for “chemo” tomorrow - no go !!! Blood count is not good enough, so for the fourth time my chemo has gone from a three week cycle to a four week, how are you all doing ? Are you all having chemo this week ?
I spoke to my ex husband and my son on Friday and things seem to be sorted now - my son was just very angry and frustrated and taking it all out of me ! But we have talked now and I think he is alright although he is very scared .
Hope you are all well as you have all been quiet and thats not normally a good sign ???
It has gone rather quiet on this thread hasn’t it - so much so that I couldn’t find it !
I must admit I have been posting on the Anyone starting chemo thread.
Glad you got things sorted with your son. Sorry your chemo is beng delayed - as far asI know (no call from unit) - my bloods were ok and all is going ahead tomorrow for what will be MY LAST FEC wooohoooo. Only rads, 4 x tax and a year to herceptin to go then lol
Glad to hear that you are Ok and your FEc is going according to plan - well done you. Good luck today lovely, hope all goes well, let me know how you’re doing as soon as your up to it.
Have you read some of the horror stories about tax treatment and side effects, it really does seem to be something to look forward to - notice the sarcasm creeping in.
All went well today. Told my BN that I had signed up to climb Ben Nevis for the BCC - she asked when it was, so I said in October this year - her reply was - ‘But aren’t you having taxotere later on?’ - I said ‘yes but it will be finished by June’ - her response was ’ and you think you’ll be able to climb a mountain in October???’ - OMG I so hope I can - my sponsor money has gone past the £600 mark now - I can’t let people down - hubby is coming with me so he’ll just have to carry me up hahaha
Will probable move to the rads thread once I start (treatment starts 21st feb) - but not sure if I’ll actually have internet access during treatment as I have to go and stay in edinburgh Mon - Fri - so will maybe just post at weekends. Will keep in touch on here as well though to se how you’re doing - it’s so annoying that you aren’t able to swap emails/phone nos on here.
CONGRATULATIONS Margaret, another hurdle overcome, I bet you are soooooooooooo relieved to be finished chemo.
its great that you have a break before rads start,and have an exciting adventure to Ben Nevis to plan, its always good to have 'goals; in the pipeline eh! well done you,
Good luck with your recovery, let us know how you are,
I am glad that’s the fec out of the way. Hopefully the rads will seem like a breeze lol - not too sure about the taxotere later though - I’m trying not to think about that one!
I have a wee holiday planned for the end of my rads - it coincides with my youngests school hols so we are just away to the lakes for a few days. Then at the end of my taxotere - my eldest daughter is getting married - so have that to look forward to - then after a 3 month recovery (from the tax and the wedding lol) - I shall climb Ben Nevis. Hoping Herceptin doesn’t have any side effects I haven’t heard about cos I’ll be on that then as well… but I’m sure I’ll cope?!?