Hello as you can see this is my first post.
I logged on last week after i found my lump and convinced myself that is was nothing and just a plain old boring cyst,but it appears not.
I had a mammogram and then a ultrasound and they said a biopsy. Thats wasnt fun the biopsy didnt really hurt cos of the local anesthetic but the test for the lymph nodes in my armpit wasnt particulary nice.
Anyway i then went to see the consultant who said that the size of the lump and hardness they were sure it was cancer> This is without the biopsy results. So i was very upset my OH was with me and we both cried. cant beleive it its so hard to take in. So many questions running through my head. Got an appointment next week to decide on how it will be treated so got to get through to next tues without telling my children, who are 3 and 7…I cant tell them yet.
My mum is going on holiday tom to see my sister who went through cervical cancer last year in mexico and she came out the other side so i’ll stay positive and hopefully will be fine…
I’m just very emotional at the moment, suppose i just wanted to get my feeling down here with people who know what i’m going through, never thought it would be me.
Thanks for listening
Fran, BC sucks. Sorry you’ve joined us. This is the worst part where the atom bomb has just gone off in your life and the dust hasn’t settled yet. Once you know what you’re dealing with and what your treatment plan is you’ll feel much less out of control. You’ll get invaluable support from this site but you might want to call the helpline tomorrow . Also get hold of a little book called Mummy’s lump.It’s it’s free and really good for kids the age of yours.
Firstly welcome to the BCC forums, I’m sorry to read of your recent diagnosis. It sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time at the moment, which is understandable.
I’m sure some of the other users will be along shortly with their support and experience. In the meantime maybe you would like to talk to a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 600 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 9.00 to 2.00.
Thanks for replying…I’m still in shock i know next week i will know more…just hard to take it all in. I’m only 39 suppose you dont think it can happen to you but it does. Had a good cry so feel better now. I’ve just read that book about my lump it looks really good. I’m not telling them anything till i know what i’m facing and me and my oh will tell them together…thanks again xxx
Hiya Fran so sorry youve had to join us but just want to agree with everything chocci said , please keep posting . this site has been invaluable to me and we all know how you are feeling at the moment.
Sending you Positive thoughts to help you through.
(((HUGS))) Jackie xxxx
thanks for replying, yes trying to take it all in. Cant beleive it really…i know i will feel better next tuesday when i have the full diagnosis. I think i am releived that i know already and dont have to wait not knowing. Now i just have to face what is to come. I’ve read that book mummys lump its looks good. I’m not telling them till we know whats happening.
Thanks again xx
So sorry you are going through this but once you know more details you will feel better and more in control. Just wanted you to know that my daughter was only 8 when I was diagnosed and I was terrified that I wouldn’t see her grow up. I then had a recurrence of my cancer when she was 14 and that was even worse, but she is now 21 and I am as fit as a fiddle and enjoying every minute of a beautiful mother/daughter relationship. If you’re going to get cancer get breast cancer as it’s the one most easily treated.
Sending you a big hug & lots of positive thoughts.
SURREAL, that’s the way it all feels, you can’t quite believe what’s happening to you. It is fear of the unknown and the mind goes into overdrive!! Try to keep busy, less time for thinking, hopefully you will have positive news, wishing you the very best xx
Hello ladies. Well got a few hours sleep last night. Not gone into work today might go back on friday its our xmas do and a free meal. Don’t want to miss out on that!
Took my daughter to see her new nursery and got a bit upset cos wanted to tell them in case different people have to pick her up. So trying to keep busy and well you have to . I’m trying to stay positive after all your lovely comments. Xx
hey leeds 39. i too am 39 and can’t believe this has happened. it is tough. i was diagnosed 17th nov. so far i have just op last week and waiting to see whats next. people on this site have really helped me with words of support and try to answer questions you may have. you probably will have lots once you get your head round it and things sink in a bit more. i have got a nice Breast care nurse, you will probably get one assigned to you too, she is really helpful and i can just let everything out when i am with her. listen to me sound like i am old hand and its only been a couple of weeks - i am still a wreck believe me. you will just have take it a day at time and after a while some days will be better. try to go out and occupy your mind, thats what i did after a several days of moping, i just had to get out even i moped round shops or sumat! got on a train one day - somewhere different to have walk round and that. your kids will keep you busy though i am sure.
i take it you are from leeds?? i am from south yorkshire.
HI TTM,
Wow that was quick from diagnosis to op…I dont know what i’m dealing with yet whether its a partial op or full removal.Its the waiting and not knowing that sends you insane.
I have decided to go into work on friday then i wont go till i know whats happening and i’ll find that out next tuesday hopefully. I’m still really sore from the biospy.Everyone on here has said really positive things. I’m just worrying about the kids and my oh and how they are going to deal with it all but my friends have said not to worry and they are here if i need them.Which I know i will.Still cant beleive it told my dad today and have to speak to work about what i’m going to do…its all a bit surreal cos you feel like this isnt happening to you and it is.
Yes i’m from leeds. So lets keep in touch and see how we both get on.
thanks for taking the time to reply. xx
Hi Leeds, Sorry you have had to join us. The part where you are now is horrible. For me it was the worst part, waiting and worrying about what the treatment will be. I am older than you - in my forties - but still wasn’t expecting the events of this year (diagnosed Jan 11, lumpectomy in Jan and second go at getting clear margins in march followed by rads). Just to say though that, though it hasn’t been my best year, it is “doable” and I am moving on with my life now. Hope you get more info soon and well done for getting on with life as best as you can in the meantime. I think keeping occupied is the best way of passing those interminable waits for results etc.
Sending you love and hugs, if there is anything you want to ask or you need to vent, you are welcome to do it here. There is a strong and supportive community of people on here who have had most every treatment on here and we’re all there when you need us xx
I too live in Leeds and was diagnosed at this time of year, (how carp is that!,) but 6 years ago. It’s soooo hard isn’t it when everyone else seems to be full of Christmas spirit and you have this huge weight on your shoulders? Just to echo what everyone else says, (and what I didn’t believe at the time), which is - this is the very worst time…waiting and worrying. Once you know what you are dealing with and what your treatment plan is going to be - it all seems to get a little easier somehow. Oh and by the way…I am now 5yrs+ on and classed as ‘No Evidence of Disease’ so there are many, many women with positive outcomes.
Will be thinking of you…and if I can be of any help or support as a fellow Leeds Lass…just yell!
Hi, Sorry you are joining us, but just to try to offer some encouragement - I was 45 when diagnosed, and am now 53, just had one of my annual check-ups this morning and everything is fine. You will get through all of this and will one day be sending in posts to give support to others.
best wishes for your treatment, and keep posting
Sarah
yes it was quick to op. think they certain timescales they have to work to, but i think they try to be even quicker if they can. went to clinic on a tuesday, told 2 days later and told date of op on that day too which was only a week and half later. so things have moved quite quickly. not sure what is next yet, so very nervous. i had lumpectomy btw. hoping that it went ok but haven’t been told yet. still a bit sore but ok.
you do right not to got to work if you don’t want to. i know everyone is different with this, some people work upto and through treatments if they can. but i dont want any added stress thinking about work, and i am lucky that i get full pay for a while whilst i am off. do what feels right for you, its a difficult time and you should take a day at a time. its difficult to know how you feel each day as well as the days pass and just cant face going to work. its a very emotional and stressful time.
my breast care nurse has given me my sick note and there was no issue at all. in fact she asked me about it. obviously there will be times when you need time off regardless whether you intend working anyway.
i am just off J37 of M1 so just down the road really - in fact took ourselves off to leeds last week for a walk round centre to get out of house.
it would be good to keep in touch through this - great idea. keep me posted and feel free to personal message me on here too if you wish to about anything.
Hi Leeds 39
I can’t say much more than the others really. I’m 5years plus clear too but still find the forum a comfort and support because only those that have been through it really know what it’s like.
One piece of advice I would give is get in touch with the Haven in Leeds. It wasn’t available to me at the beginning of treatment but I did benefit at the beginning of this year when I went through a really bad time. It’s called the Haven and that’s really what it is. As I walked through the door it was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and everyone was so amazing. Treatments are free and they are there to support you and your family.
I honestly don’t know where I’d be without them.
This is the worst time. I think it’s like the gap between a death and the funeral if that’s not too gloomy. Once treatment started I felt much better and I’m sure you will too.
Love and hugs
Chinook
Hi Leeds, I have just been diagnoised with grade 2 invasive & insitu ductal cancer and have cancer in calcium deposits. They don’t think I have cancer in lymph nodes but waiting for sentinel biopsy date. I am being treated at Leeds. Diagnosed 24th nov. after Xmas will have mastectomy and reconstruction. Also found out Am triple negative, which was the worse thing. Was so upset when read up about that. Haven’t been coping well at all. Have stopped work. Am a nurse at Leeds but just can’t think about anything but my cancer then feel so guilty for being so selfish when there are worse things that happen. I have a 12 year old son who knows and has been great my three older daughters and husband have been fantastic. Seems such a long journey and I am very frightened. Have to go to see breast nurse next week to talk about what kind of breast reconstruction to have. Haven’t a clue, need to read up. So much information.
hi melinda287, what can i say its c**p, but you have done the right thing and joined on here for great support and advice.
i you have my earlier post you will i dx 17th nov. things have moved fast with getting things in motion for treatment and they will for you too. they is thread just set up other day for people dx in november or there abouts, so feel free to join us and you will not be on your own with this journey.
if your breast care nurse is as nice as mine you will be fine. i am able to talk to her about anything and everything, i have been in total meltdown with her but she has been great and getting to me to where i am now even though its only been just a few weeks. its very difficult to start with but have to take it a day a time. it sounds as if you have great support around you with your famiy.
as for feeling guilty, your allowed to feel whatever you want. it told my nurse early on that i thought i should be coping better and not dealing with it as well others may - she told me this was rubbish and that the words should or shouldnt weren’t allowed. ie i should be this or shouldnt be that.
the breast nurse will probably give you some information to read through on reconstruction, there probably is a booklet on this site you can download as they have loads on different things also i know macmillan have produced one on reconstruction you might want to visit there site or give them ring. the helpline on this site is also excellent, you can speak to a nurse on here as well, i did, if you want to get information to help you before your meeting with your own BCN.
ask questions or advice on here as much as you need, i have, and people have been great.