Hi, this is my first post. I am struggling to get my head round being told I’ve got cancer. I’m hearing myself telling friends and feel very odd and dissociated at the moment. I woke up at 4am and couldn’t sleep and am struggling to deal with people’s reactions to me telling them I have stage 1 cancer…I think they think it’s a death sentence despite me saying I’m lucky it’s been caught early. I just want a bit of normality back…and some sleep. There’s been too much to take in and I’m struggling to cope. Any advice?
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Dear @seren1 , Its a lot to take in I know but well done for posting. You will find lots of love and support here from those of us who know what it feels like to hear that news and are walking the path ahead of you. What you are feeling is perfectly normal and understandable. It can be overwhelming. You can also call the Breast Cancer Now helpline on 0800 800 6000 mon - friday and the Macmillan Helpline on 0808 808 0000 which is open 7 days a week from 8am -8pm. I have called them many times and the support is wonderful. Tell them everything you have said in your post. They will listen and they will help you. With love and hugs from Tulip x
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Hi @seren1
I’m sorry about your diagnosis, and it’s perfectly normal to feeling as you do. I went through stages, worry waiting to find out, then for a short time I was focused on surgery and getting “it” removed. Then back to worry. It’s a long journey and it certainly is challenging.
On a positive note, and perhaps something to hold onto. There are lots of very good treatments which can be targeted to different types of breast cancer, to get the best results. The medical teams work hard, and offer lots of support. Likewise there are many on this forum that will offer help.
Stay strong, there is light at the end of the tunnel x
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Hi @seren1 , you could be describing exactly how I felt when I was diagnosed - it’s a very surreal experience - like being transported to an parallel universe “ Cancer World “ . Peoples reactions can be quite hurtful / not helpful I’m afraid .
Good news is things do get better , you will sleep again and feel “normal” again.Once you have a plan in place and can get on with treatment you will feel calmer and more in control . Lots of people here would understand . Best wishes Jill x
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@seren1 as above, very much a parallel universe kind of situation. Tremendous thing to get your head around which only becomes possible with time. You’ve had a major, traumatic shock. But honestly, you will start to get through it, it does start to become your new normal, no matter how much you don’t want it to. I just spent a couple of weeks in the corner of my sofa until I could start to function again, and then started to venture back into the real world in little bits, until I could cope. And you will cope, honest xxx
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Hi hon
I’m a newbie here too. What you’re describing is exactly how I felt 3+ weeks ago but it does sink in and it does get a little easier. I went from thinking of nothing else for 2 weeks with disturbed sleep, awful anxiety, and a fear of I’m not long for this world, to now having little 5/10 minute breaks where my mind is not consumed with it.
The wait is awful and we struggle but we do it and we get through it a day at a time.
This forum has been my lifeline since I joined a few weeks ago. We all got each others back and it’s amazing ! We’re amazing. X x x
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I’m the same got told last Tuesday and finding it all so difficult I do feel a bit better toddy I’m waiting for ct scan and mri scan and then a treatment plan it’s not easy I don’t have any advice I’m trying to keep busy and just want to say we will get through this xxx
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I feel your pain @daisy69 and thank you xx For what its worth, I decided to work today and the normality of that is helping take my mind of the uncertainty a little. I’m trying to hang on to normal things like the garden and swimming and they do seem to help a bit. Let me know how you do though
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thanks Jill, I’m finding the normal day to day stuff both tough but also helping. And I did get some sleep last night. Thanks for your insight, reading yours and the other posts has made me feel a bit better x
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I already had my own way of getting sleep when under stress during covid times (work in ICU, hellish times). In away it prepared me, I found, as in order to cary on I suppose I got quite good at burying things too. Then I got cancer, and kinda dealt with it the same way, which means every night I go to sleep listening to podcasts, I quite like the chatter, and I’ve learnt a lot too thanks to bbc sounds app. I have an interest in science si Infinate Monkey Cage was good- something about Brian Cox soft Oldham voice sent me to sleep. Moved onto some history podcasts amongst other things. Works for me, but everyone is different. Stops you thinking about negative things when trying to sleep.
You could be misinterpreting your friends reaction, my friends were supportive, but quite positive (lol, but we are all nurses, so could be why they reacted differently). It’s probably hard for people to know how to react in the moment when told. Its a fine balance between showing concern and care and not wanting to minimise it and come across as uncaring. My mother would probably have seemed unmoved by most people by her reaction, but she had a grade 3 stage 2, so compared to what she went through my grade 1 was small fry. She’s still going strong, 18 years later, no reccurance, so its by no means a death sentence, even when fairly advanced.
Hi @seren1 welcome to the club no one wants to be in. The wait throughout this is awful, no dodging that unfortunately but once you get results and a treatment plan it does get a bit better.
I hope it’s not too much longer for you but we are all here for you. Please do use this wonderful and supportive space to vent, ask the many questions you will get and talk with others that understand what you are going through. 
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Hi seren1, I’m sorry to read about your diagnosis. I hope you will find the support and help you need on the forum.
Please remember that if you ever feel the need to chat things through, and/or if you have any clinical questions, our breast care nurses are here and happy to talk.
You can find more here.
Sending you our warmest wishes,
Zoe
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Hi this is also my story I feel exactly like what you are describing I am now waiting for results from my mri and it feels like forever
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So sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I was in your shoes 6 months ago, and it will get better. It likely will not be easy (even if you are stage 1, grade 1 like me!), but it will get better.
There is no right way to process or deal with this, and I think it’s important that you give yourself grace to feel whatever you are feeling! If you are terrified and catastrophizing, that’s valid. If you’re feeling optimistic and strong, that’s valid. If you’re numb, preoccupied, and unable to process information, that’s also totally valid. Please be kind to yourself, regardless what you’re feeling in this moment. In my experience, other people don’t know what to say or do either, so try to just let their reactions roll off your back. If someone’s reaction feels helpful, then let that in. If not, then let it go.
Sending love and wishing you all the best in your journey!
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Hi
Like many others, this was my story in December 24. I thought i would never sleep again. I found it difficult to tell people as it made me cry, so i stopped my normal activities & just focused on all my negative thoughts. However, slowly, i came to terms with my diagnosis (grade 1 like you), got through surgery, more waiting for test results & radiotherapy, & i realised i was sleeping again & cancer no longer invaded my thoughts. It’s unfortunately just time that you need. You will process this in your own way & when you’re ready you will restart your life. It will get easier, honestly x
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seren1 it will all be a total shock at the moment. I know when I found my lump thought just be a cyst to diagnosis of breast cancer. I wasn’t expecting it at all. Once I had all the result’s explained to me it made me feel loads better. Mine is hormone fed cancer which is the best one to have all things considered. From diagnosis on 23rd January to operation on 24th February I was told a total of 3 lymph nodes were removed as well as lumpectomy. I was given the all clear when called back with my results 4 weeks later I cannot praise the speed & support from the nhs they have been brilliant. I have still got to have radiotherapy which starts on 28th may. The way I dealt with it was 1 appointment at a time not to think too far ahead. I hope this helps
How are you doing I’ve had ct scan today got mri Monday then hopefully things will move along I’ve got a really bad stomach with reflux and heartburn think it’s all anxiety related and the stopping of my hrt I used to take omeprazole ole took it for years then the gp would not give me any more told me to try to get off it as it can affect peoples liver i did manage to get off it not taken for about ten months but I’m thinking of asking the gp if I could take some again short term to get me through this anxious time xx
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I don’t know your age or your work life experience or if you have children, but I want to tell you they have made tremendous strides in treating breast cancer, particularly early stage. I am much older my kids are raised and I don’t work so getting through this is much easier than someone who might be younger, working and children at home, however so many women do this and get through it! But this is what I to tell you. You’ve got this!! I’ve had a very rare form of synchronous bilateral breast cancer, with two completely different histologies in each breast. I am extremely rare, and a very small percentage of the population. I’ve had a double mastectomy, opted for no reconstruction I’m 69 I don’t need the boobs anymore. The left breast was invasive, ductal carcinoma HER 2 positive stage 1A. The right breast was lobular breast cancer stage 1B. Still considered early breast cancer with no metastases which I feel extremely fortunate about. Through all the preliminary testing they thought both of these cancers were more advanced but after my surgery they did the complete pathology and discovered they weren’t nearly as advanced as they had thought. I am going through a total of six cycles of chemo just completed my third. I will not need radiation, and will continue a targeted therapy after the chemo until March 2026. All of these transfusions are delivered via port every three weeks. The preventative drugs they have when you go through chemo for side effects is excellent. I am surprised I’m doing as well as I am. Yes you will have side effects but don’t be scared by reading every single one, as you may be one of those people that only get a few or some people just sail through chemo now. I am not exactly sailing through chemo, but I know that I have meds that can help me with nausea with pain with diarrhea you’ll get through this. You are stage one that is completely curable for many people. At this point you may not even have to go through chemo. But you will be guided through this process if you’ve got a good team and if you don’t be your own advocate and find doctors that will. Research but don’t drive yourself crazy with it. Empower yourself with knowledge, but have a balance in that because it can be scary if you just start looking up everything by Dr. google. Surround yourself with positive people, do not be afraid to ask for help and do not allow fear to get in the way of knowing you can beat this. You can do this! The strides they have made in breast cancer are phenomenal, and there are many many women, living years and years and years beyond diagnosis. Hold on to that! I have friends that were diagnosed 20 even 30 years ago (in the dark ages) and our living full productive lives. Remember you are stage one which is treatable and curable. And in truth, or women with stage two stage three, and even stage, four that are thriving and doing well. You’ve got this!!
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Be kind to yourself, it is a lot to take in and it can suddenly consume all your headspace. I think what helped me was only telling those friends who needed to know eg if I needed their help or had to explain an absence etc.
I then waited until I’d had all my surgery and follow up before telling anyone else…
I found focussing on being as fit as possible ahead of the surgery was a good distraction and it made me feel good too !
As others have said, the charity websites are so good - Someone Like Me is fantastic for speaking to someone who’s been through it all and can share their experiences with you.
Best of luck with it all. Hope your treatment goes well and you can soon move on.
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I know how you are feeling. Honestly i told only a handful of friends when i got my diagnosis, only the ones that who could cope with the news.
That helped me alot as well as i was so overwhelmed.
I also struggled with sleeping but it got better as the months went by. Treatment has come a far way over the year and that thought kept be going.
Sending hugs to you