I have just marked the second anniversary of losing my precious mum and best friend. Its been a while since I posted here and couldnt even remember my password. The last time I had a look at the postings I was having a bad day and it may me feel worse so decided to give it a break for a few months.
I can honestly say I dont feel any different to the day I lost her. 2 years have flown past and life is so very different. If only people including myself would treasure the ones they love, tell them how they feel and never take them forgranted. There are so many things I never said to my mum, so many things we didnt get the opportunity to do together. I have only recently been able to get her photos out and cry at them every day. I cry for her beautiful face, the touch of her hand on mine, her laughter and fun, the way she loved my son the precious grandchild she adored, the way she kept her home and garden full of flowers and warmth, her wonderful home cooking, the way she encouraged me to do whatever made me happy, our weekly shopping trips and coffee together, our singing in the car together. The list goes on but now she has gone.
Nobody marked her anniversary, no one but my partner and father mentioned a word. I am an only child so have no one to share my loss with. It sometimes feels as though she never existed for anyone. I dont see or speak to her friends any more and her best and closest friend died 6 months after her from this hideous illness.
I have a busy life but spend so much time thinking of her and yearning for her to return. We spoke virtually evey day for 37 years so how do you come to terms with it. I dont think I ever will.