21 years old, please help

Public Archive
1

Hi all,

I am new to these forums after reading and reading for weeks and decided to post my story.

In December i was ill with sinusitis and had been laying in bed and on the sofa in an appauling sports bra for days, when i went up to the bathroom, leaned down to the bin and felt a pain in my left breast, which felt like it was in the lower outer quadrant.
I was worried but put it down to having been wearing the sports bra and the fact that the majority of my bras were not right for me at the time, so I went out and invested in some new ones.
My breast was a bit tender for a few days but no more of the same pain. I noticed a tiny bit of what looked like dried green discharge on the end of the left nipple, which I cleaned off and thought no more about. (might I add I had had a breast exam at the doctors a month or so before because I had chest pains which they diagnosed as Tieze’s syndrome, but she did a CBE as well as I was worried it was related to my breasts).

I felt for lumps but couldnt feel much, so I left it.

I had a normal christmas, went on holiday and thought no more about it, until mid january when I felt the exact same pain again, but not as bad. It almost felt like a tightening, that soon loosened.

I went to my doctor who couldnt find any lumps, nor could I reproduce any discharge to show her, but she referred me for an ultrasound to put my mind at rest.
I went to the ultrasound, they did a breast exam, but never did the ultrasound because they couldnt feel anything. By this point I hadnt had any more pain or discharge so I left and thought no more about it.
Recently i felt tenderness in the left breast again, but not the same as before. It was never persistent and still isnt, and sometimes i think it is because Im thinking about it that It seems like I can feel it.
Anyway, now i have become really fussy about doing my breast exams, so I did another one the other day, and i think i might have found a lump in the lower outer quadrant of the breast that was painful, but im really not sure! If i feel in the other breast i can feel a bit of lumpiness in a similar area, but not exactly the same. Sometimes i think its the inframammary ridge, and sometimes it feels like a proper lump.

it isnt that hard and I have to rummage about quite a bit to find it, but I am scared stiff.

I cant get another appointment with my doctor for ages so I am seeing a different one next friday. Has anyone experienced similar symptoms or know whether this sounds like a fibroadenoma or a cyst?
I know cysts are supposed to feel like grapes or water balloons, but i honestly cant really decide what it feels like. i think its smooth, but im not sure. should i take comfort in the fact I have had three breast exams by 3 different doctors in the past 5 months, or should I be panicking?
Could it maybe be a bit of fat or something from when i was wearing the bad bras? Im a 34DD so have quite big boobs. I also still feel the chest pain that was diagnosed as Tieze’s syndrome but its not as bad as it was and usually occurs after lifting or something.
Sometimes i feel really fine about it and sometimes I convince myself ive got advance stage cancer that is causing the chest pain too.
Any advice would be really great thanks so much to everyone on here.
p.s. also suffer serious health anxiety. In the past few months have been to the doctors thinking I had bowel cancer (turned out to be an anal fissure) and lymphoma (was just my ribs). It has all stemmed from a friend of mine being diagnosed with breast cancer at just 24 years old.

Ellie x

2

Oh Ellie,
You must visit your GP and get help with your anxiety. It is not healthy at all to keep thinking there is something wrong with you. When a friend has BC I guess it must make your mind go into overload and every lump and bump becomes Cancer in our brain. You say that you are already an anxious person , so you know the signs. There is probably nothing rational about your fears , so visit the doctor and discuss with them the way forward for you.
I hope somebody young comes along soon to offer you help and advice. Take good care of yourself Love Tracy x

3

Hi Tracy,

Thank you so much for your reply.

When i go on friday about the lump I am going to mention the anxiety as well. I have been seeing a counsellor about it at uni and it sort of improves, its just not helped by the fact I keep getting all these ridiculous symptoms of serious illnesses.

Hopefully the lump will turn out to be nothing and I can start to move on.

Ellie

4

Hi Ellie, you commented on my thread and so I thought I’d offer my two cents as well…

I think it’s very likely that you are suffering from health anxiety/hypochondriasis and even if your doctor reassures you that your lump is nothing serious, you will probably find something else to worry about! I’ve been in exactly the same position as you in the past and like you it was triggered by a friend’s diagnosis (although I have been fairly ‘clean’ for the last six months or so, which is why I think my most recent ailment might actually be something…)
You are doing the right thing by seeing a counsellor (I wish my uni offered this sort of help!), and hopefully in time you can as you say start to move on! Also, have you ever visited the Anxiety Zone website? They have a huge forum with a sub-section on health anxiety and even if you don’t post there are loads of stories from people going throught the same thing as you…hope this helps xxx

5

Hi Ellie,
Well I certainly hope the lump is just fatty tissue !! I too had lots of fears about Cancer coming in different parts of my body after I had my breast removed. I had MRI scans, ultra sounds, chest X rays and kept imagining all sorts of things wrong with me. I did not feel well again until I had Counselling and took anti depressants. The GP said I was more anxious than depressed and also gave me Diazepam to help me cope in an emergency when I felt I was in a cold sweat about everything.
Keep busy and stay focused until Friday. Practice Mindfulness so that you concentrate on the job in question and also do some deep breathing to calm your body and mind down .
I hope you can continue to study. Keep strong Ellie. Love Tracy x

6

Thank you so much to both of you. everyone on here is so fantastic.

youve both made me feel so much better. i have also now had another feel about in the past couple of days and am thinking more and more that its actually not a lump, just my mind again, but i am still going to go and get it all checked and start to get help with the anxiety too.

i will post on friday when I have been and let you know how i get on :slight_smile:

thanks again you are both amazing xx

7

Hiya Ellie,
Not too long to wait now ! Keeping my fingers crossed that all is clear on Friday. Remember though that our minds are very powerful and we can think all sorts of things are wrong with us and imagine the worst when we are feeling down . Stay strong and I am sending you all the positive vibes and big hugs . Keep posting if it makes you feel better. Love Tracy xxx

8

Hi Tracy,

thank you so much for your kind, encouraging words.

I went to the doc today and explained everything, and she was fantastic, much better than my usual GP so going to go to her in future.

i explained that i never got the ultrasound before, and she was able to show me the actual report from the specialist that he sent through, confirming that he felt everything was okay. She had a good feel around herself, I showed her what I had found, and she confirmed it was not a lump, and just feels like breast tissue that is just ever so slightly asymetrical when compared to the other side, but was most certainly not a lump.

She explained that the problem with ultrasound is that it is of little diagnostic help when a specific lump or thickening is not involved, and as I haven’t had the pain since, and during examination my breast was barely even sensitive anymore (which it majorly was before), it is most likely just hormonal changes. She said she wished she could refer me to ease my mind but there was really no need because there is no lump, but said I could come back in a couple of months and she will look again, as she says she is very good at remembering people’s structure when she has felt the breasts before.

I am feeling much better about it, and as the area was much more lumpy during my period and is now barely noticeable, I agree with her that it is more than likely hormonal changes. I have just come off my pill so I am going to monitor it and see what happens, but I have been looking at post-grad courses in London that I am applying for, and me and my friend are looking at flats to move into once I finish uni, so I am getting on with my life and not letting this on-going breast panic get me down anymore.

I have found a local counselling service for anxiety which I am going to go to and get this worrying sorted, and move on with my life and enjoy my youth.

Thank you guys so much for your reassurance and strength you have passed on to me during my wait for an appointment. If you have any comments on my decision to move on from this please please let me know, as I dont want to be in denial, but I really dont think I am. I think I am ready to move on from this now.

Tracy you are an inspiration, and I admire you no end!

Ellie x

9

Oh Ellie , That is such good news. I have a big smile on my face as I know a lot of the forum users will have , that you had such reassurance from an understanding GP. She helped you to recognise the changes in your breast and to be aware when you use the Touch Look Check approach in the future. It is great to hear you making plans . I would recommend a holiday now with your friend, a week in the sunshine to recharge your batteries before you continue with your studies.
Enjoy being young and celebrate each day by doing something special. It does not need to cost a fortune. I am raising a big glass of wine to you. Your post caught my eye as my daughter is 21 in September so I feel I understand how you was feeling as she too had terrible health anxiety fears. We went to A&E several times with unexplained abdo pain , and it was not until a top Consultant told me she had nothing medically wrong with her tummy that I realised she was referring to her brain. We worked through it and I kept her busy and focused. She has a good job, passed her driving test and has just moved in with her boyfriend. I am not sure about that bit , but she needs to make her own mistakes just like I did !
Take good care of yourself Ellie, life is precious so make sure you enjoy yourself. Sing and Dance as though no one is watching you. Have fun . Lots of love and positive vibes. Tracy xxx

10

Thank you so much Tracy. Having read your profile I am unsure whether you are still suffering from BC or whether you are all clear now, but either way I hope you have a wonderful, cancer free future!

I cant guarantee I wont be back on the forum with more fears in the future, but I am taking steps to get past the fear now.

Thank you again for taking the time to read my posts and send positive comments back through. I cant put into words how much I appreciate it.

Ellie x

11

Hi Ellie,
When I asked my Oncologist if I was in Remission , she said No Tracy your Cancer has gone. I had a Mammogram in February on my good breast and that came back clear. so I guess I am in the land of NED ( No Evidence of Disease ).
What are you studying by the way ? Take care Love Tracy xxx