32 newly diagnosed, newly married!

First post, but after reading some of the others on here, felt comfortable enough to post.
I was diagnosed on 08/02/13. I’m 32 and have been diagnosed with cancer in right breat and in my lymph nodes. I am completely in shock and still in that stage of ‘its happening to someone else’ stage. it gets better doesn’t it? This wasn’t the start to married life i was planning really.
I think its the fertility issue i’m more sore about at the moment, my husband and i haven’t had kids and hadn’t actually thought about when we’d have them, but now that the option might be taken away it all feels very hard. Any advice?? please?

thank you

Hi Netty, welcome to the BCC forums

The many informed users of this site will be along with lots of information and support for you, in addition, our helpline is open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000 and we can offer you further support during this difficult time.

You may find the following link to our ‘Younger women’ information useful, here you will find further support ideas and information around fertility issues :

Take care


I’m so sorry to hear from you. I know that doesn’t sound right but I didnt know what else to put. I am sure that there will be people along today that will help and give you lots of advice.
I just didn’t want you to keep looking at the forum like what I did and find no one had read or wrote to you as quick as what you would have liked them to. There will be lots of people on the forum soon. After school runs getting kids sorted etc.
I went for mammogram before Christmas and biopsy after. I had a lump that needed to be removed in my right breast. I had that taken out last week. See surgeon on Thursday for the results.
Dont go down the road of looking up information on other sites a lot of it is outdated and so confusing your head starts to spin.
If you do have questions ask on here and I’m sure that someone will come along and answer yours for you.
I hope you’re having a good day so far (it will get better) and you will meet lots of women you will build up a whole new family with.
Join in on the walk with all of us share some hopes, dreams inspirations and aspirations we all have
Sandra xx

Hello Netty. I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. A year ago I was in a very similar situation to you - 32 years old with cancer in right breast and lymph nodes. I had mastectomy, axillary node clearance, chemo and rads and am now on herceptin and tamoxifen. I don’t have any children.

After my surgery but before chemo I underwent fertility treatment to harvest some eggs which were made into embryos using my partner’s sperm. They managed to make five embryos which are now in the freezer should we ever come to want them! As I am on tamoxifen for five years, I cannot try for a child during this time although some women come off tamoxifen for a while in order to try and conceive. I don’t know if you are ER+ so I don’t know if this applies to you. As fertility treatment involved me injecting myself with hormones I also had to take some medication to counter the effects of this (can’t remember what it was called, not tamoxifen). This was all done on the NHS. If we want children in the future we will try for a child naturally, and if that doesn’t work then we will try the embryos.

I would recommend you talk to your consultant and find out if this is a service that is offered in your area as I have read cases where women have reported they were not given the option. If it is, then try and get a referral as quickly as possible as they won’t want to delay your treatment any more than they have to. I was able to fit in the fertility treatment while I was recovering from surgery and it didn’t delay chemo. If it’s not a service they offer then it may be an option to pay for it yourself, but it is very expensive and would depend on whether you have the means.

I should also add that given your age, chemo won’t necessarily leave you unable to conceive or push you into an early menopause. Plenty of young women who have chemo go on to have children. I don’t know if I am fertile, but I finished chemo last July and my periods came back in December. I have had three periods since, and although I don’t know how regular they will be, this is apparently a good sign. Lastly, I just want to say that it does get better. It is a long road and you will go through a lot, but you will come out the other end and realise it was all worth it. Wishing you all the best, you will find so much support on this site.

Hi Dzyre & Lacuna and thank you for your replies.
Dzyre - your right it did worry that no one would reply so i appreciate your message!! i wish you all the best for tomorrow at the consultants.
Lacuna - thank you, your message has calmed me some what, i am ER+ (so many acronyms), so it was useful to hear about your journey. i’ve been struggling to decide whether to have surgery then chemo or whether to do it the other way around -but if having surgery first means i maybe to go through egg harvesting then i think i may opt for that - with the professionals agreement i guess!

thank you both of you for taking the time to share, and i wish you well xx Netty x

Hi Netty

I was diagnosed with grade 3 invasive BC last July at the age of 30. Completely understand it is like your world has just exploded. I have had the surgery a lumpectomy and then I had chemo and have just fin rads. I am on a different treatment to lacuna due to my clotting disorder. I am on a zolodex implant every 28days.

Again I agree with lacuna speak with your breast nurse they are the glue that holds you together to begin with. Any questions just ask them whatever small or large. You will have good days and bad and my best advice is always talk about what is worrying you or going on. It will help you I promise.

I unfortunately was unable to have any fertility treatment before I started but would recommend you ask to go to the fertility nurse they can help discuss what options are available.

Feel free to mes me if you have any as

Victoria x

Hi and no problems. I am not up with all the abbrieviations either. I have to go to the post that tells you them all. I have just got out the bath and lazing about waiting to get dressed. I have 3 hours to go to my appointment. and 1 min not that I’m counting of course.
I hope they take the dressings off today cos they are so making me itch and sore. (I’m allergic to most plasters) but of course I have to have something on them lol.
I hope by now you’ve made new friends and contacts. I think it is the chat room tonight. So there will be people in there to give you lots of advice and all the hugs and cuddles dont go amiss.
Have a great Valentines day.

Hello everyone, I’ve just been diagnosed on the 5th of feb aftER I felt my lump on the 3rd. I am lucky to work in the nhs so I know the breast consultants. I had my mastectomy done last Wednesday. i am 41 and we just started planning for a family before I was diagnoseprior one of my priority was fertility. I was referred straight away and just learned last Thursday that i will need to self fund my fertility treatment because I am on my 40’s. I had been strong but this have taken so much of my hope because it it too expensive and we are not prepared for it so we won’t be able to afford it. I am still inquiring if will be given other options. So I would suggest, as you are young, I am quite sure you will be able qualified for nhs funding and you might As well take it.

Hi ya if you ever want to chat to ladies all day and all night there is a fab closed facebook page for younger women with bc. I have found it such a great help. You can find the link in the younger womens forum xxxxx

thank you to all who have responded. I’m booked in for surgery on 11th march. Also have an appointment with fertility team next week. Surgwery was the only option in the end - although the oncologist looked at me as if i was crazy when i asked for a referral to the fertility! apparently it doesn’t happen often!
i’m feeling a bit more positive and although very nervous about surgery because i’ve never had an op or stayed in hospial before, its not enough to make me not want to do it - if that makes sense.

thanks again for the messages
Netty xx