Hi
I’m 34 with 2 sons and recently diagnosed with BC ER+ PR + HER2+ with spread to lymph glands.
I’m really scared of what comes next and how we will cope as a family, i go from feeling positive to not wanting to get out if bed! I don’t want to see any of my friends and wish I could go back to my life before.
I feel guilty that I didn’t find this lump sooner as it has already spread,
I’m just hoping to hear from people who are or have been in a similar situation, and any positive stories would also be massively welcomed!!
Thank you x
I so feel for you. My friend was diagnosed at age 40 with lymph node spread and she is doing fantastically well almost two years on. I actually met her the day the two of us were diagnosed and she was absolutely distraught at the fact it was in her lymph nodes. She had neoadjuvant chemo which halved the size of her lump and only had cancer in 3 nodes on clearance. She’s back at work and enjoying life with her hubby and 7 year old daughter. Sure there will be other ladies posting similar stories soon. Sending gentle hugs your way. X Ann X
Sahhs, the last thing you should be feeling is guilt. You are right at the start of this journey and it’s the scariest part as I’m sure lots of the people on this site will tell you. You will find lots of wonderful support here to help you through what’s coming next. I was diagnosed 21st July, have had surgery, which was nowhere near as awful as I anticipated, and had my first chemo yesterday which, so far, has not been too awful at all. Still a long way to go but it does get better, mentally at least, once your treatment plan is underway.
Stick with us. There are lots of wonderfully helpful and kind people who will help you though this here. My journey up to now would have been much worse without this site.
Hi Sahhs
I am 30 and was diagnosed with grade 3 IDC ER+ a couple of weeks ago. Like you I have been having periods of feeling determined mixed with total fear, anger and sadness. I’ve realised that having a good cry is my therapy at the moment!
Mine has also spread to my lymph nodes (have mastectomy and node clearance next week so will see how many) and I have spent a few hours wondering when I got it, how I missed it, blaming myself for drinking too much on honeymoon last month etc. But I still really can’t feel my tumour and thinking about why and how I missed it just makes me feel more miserable. i also found that reading some of the stories of younger women online scared me as many of the blogs talk about mets. I figure there has to be some more positive stories out there that are untold!
Let’s hope we hear some!
Jodie x
I was diagnosed 2 years ago on Halloween, aged 29. I was ER and HER2 positive, it was 5cm and in my lymph nodes but thankfully nowhere else (grade 3, stage 3). I had an 18 month old daughter and had just got married the month before. I was pretty angry but I had an amazing oncologist who got the ball rolling straight away. Going from being a relatively healthy young person to cancer patient was the weirdest and most difficult experience of my life. I was bundled straight into hospital to have a portacath inserted, the following day I cut off and donated my hair, then the day after that I was in chemo. Never been more upset to see the pharmacist bring in a bag of huge syringes with biohazard warning symbols all over them, and chemo felt like the worst hangover in the world. But it was nothing compared to the anger I felt - why the hell is this happening to me - I’m so young!
After a a while though we could see that the chemo was working. I wasn’t too sick and because of my youth the oncologist threw everything he could at me. I had FEC-T chemotherapy for the first few sessions, the second one made me really sick but they brought me back up in no time with fluids and a few days in hospital. Then after Christmas they transitioned me to paclitaxel and herceptin. The advantage of being HER2+ is that you can benefit from herceptin, it works like a stun gun on the cancer so that chemo can go in for the kill. I don’t know if you’re having it adjuvant (after surgery) or before surgery, mine was before because it was too big and my boobies aren’t particularly ample.
when I completed my chemo and went to have surgery, they couldn’t see the tumour any more on my scan. They removed the tissue and 16 lymph nodes and found microscopic traces of cancer. The chemo did its job which was great. I think by this point I was used to this. I started to need the oncologist appointments for reassurance, i knew i had a job to do to get rid of it and dying was absolutely out of the question with such a young daughter. All you can do is sit there and do as you’re told, and don’t be afraid to ask questions and tell them how you feel.
what bothered me the most was radiotherapy, mainly because I was so young and every one else in the waiting room (Death Ward as I nicknamed it, it was a grim place) was much older. My phone went off in reception one day as I had forgotten to put it on silent. This woman had a go at me, pointing to a sign saying please do not use your phone, saying there are sick people in here. I said nothing but went to change into my gown because it was nearly time for my zapping. Her face was a picture when I sat back down. She he clearly thought I was there to support a relative. Silly tart.
Cancer does not discriminate.it doesn’t care that you’re only 34 with young children. But my darling it is not always the death sentence it used to be. You have the most researched form of cancer, and people will repeat this till you want to punch them but your age is your advantage. Myself and my friend Becky (34) are now cancer free. Admittedly I’m stuck on tamoxifen which comes with its own side effects, but I’m alive and **bleep** grateful.
i don’t know if you have found this helpful, I’ve tried to be honest. All my love and best wishes. I know you’re angry and upset. Your life has been turned upside down and it’s a long road with many bumps. If you want to talk on the phone I’m happy to be there on the end of the phone x
Hi,
Thank you so so much for posting! I’m not having a good morning and needed that.
Just to know I’m not alone and we sound very similar, size lump and also I’m having treatment before surgery. My first one is on Monday!
I’m still struggling to come to terms with what has and will be happening to me. 5 weeks ago I was happy and so I though healthy and this has just completely knocked me and my confidence.
Can I ask did you try the cold cap?
X
i am 34 breast cancer , doing alternative treatment to my self now , working well , but had 6 round of chemo , now i dont have my period , just worriying because i want to have kids later in life
i had chemotherapy but i wasnt happy with that somehow didnt work well , just damaged my body
i also had lypme nodes , couple of them fall off due to alternative treatmet , painful but worth it on my case