49, diagnosed Friday 1 July - am I young or am I old?

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So, er, hello. First question. I don’t know if I fall in the young category or old - I’m not menopausal, and never had children so don’t know how to process this at all - will I be treated as an older person or young? Sounds crazy to be concerned with this. Any tips? Tentatively stepping into the forum world because it’s the weekend and I’m unsure how to deal with everything.

Thanks. Love and positive thoughts to all

 

ps I know I’m not young (under 45) but I’m not older either so feel somewhat ‘stuck’. Like the expectations don’t fit. I’ll know more about the treatment and order of things on Tuesdat. Plagued by aches and pains in the affected breast and hating my body right now. After years of being ridiculously small breasted I’d finally reached a point where I had something and now I’m due to lose one of them. Grr… :( 

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Hi Lisa Mary, I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in this position and part of a club none of us want to belong to. I am also 49 and was diagnosed on 11th Feb. I don’t consider myself young but according to my consultant I am!  I was so shocked to hear those words “it is breast cancer” and I found the early days of continually waiting for results incredibly hard. I don’t have a large bust, but do know I have dense breast tissue which is why 2 mammograms came back clear, an ultrasound confirmed the cancer. I ended up having a lumpectomy then a re-excision due to unclear margins 20 radiotherapy sessions (15 normal + 5 boosters) and I have been taking Tamoxifen since April. I finished radiotherapy 3 weeks ago and apart from a scar at the top of my breast close to my armpit and a slight indentation, the shape of my breast has hardly changed. Have you been told that you need a mastectomy?

 

I am sure you will have lots of questions for the ladies who use this site and there will always be someone who has been in the same position as you who will be able to offer advice and support.  Wishing you all the best as you start this journey, remember that it does come to an end and you will see light at the end of the tunnel before too long.  Michelle xx

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Hi Lisa Mary,welcome to the forum.Lots of advice and support here,it was a sanity saver for me last year when I was diagnosed .The first few weeks are a real roller coaster of emotions and its so hard to get your head around things it feels very surreal ,but it does improve and you eventually do feel calmer and more in control .Jill.

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Well I was 51 and still having periods when diagnosed and they seemed to treat me like a run of the mill old git so I don’t think you are far off the great divide !!!

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Hi Lisa Mary, welcome to our little club! I was diagnosed last year at 46 and I Certainly felt far too young for this to be happening!! Healthy, happy and still pre menopause, But I’ve since learned it doesn’t care how old you are and I think we are just the average in the 40-50 range to be honest, we’ve been through it all here between us so always someone to lean on and answer your questions ? Xx 

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Hi LisaMary2016,

Welcome to the Forum no one really wants to join and so sorry to see you here. This, however is a great place to be - fabulous support, massive help, tips, cries for help, a place to rant and for quite a few laughts, too.

The many various threads and exploring them, may be a great source of support and information for you as you move through the various stages to recovery.

Cancer unfortunately has no age barriers anymore - and what is age anyway? Despite being a tad older than you - people perceive me to be in my mid 40’s. I am fortunate to have the energy and looks, lol.

Like you, no children and small breasted, which turned out a blessing in disguise. Yes- diagnosis was not aided by dense breast tissue, I must admit. However, I had the opportunity to have a skin sparing mastectomy with immediate implant replacement, which was absolutely fabulous. Now going through chemo - but physically I really do look as I did before - just a small horizontal scar across the boob, which is now starting to fade. They even managed to fashion a skin bud, which mimicks my other nipple perfectly. Larger breasted women often may have to go for far more intrusive surgery. So we are lucky in that department - for once, lol.

It is challenging to come to term with the diagnosis, it may be a whirlwind of appointments and decisions, which may have to be made without having much time to contemplate - you may feel you loose control of what is happening to you, which for some - like me - was a real problem. Your Breast Care nurse can, at this time become a real anchor for you, as she/he will spend time with you during and after your relevant appointments to answer your questions in more depth. It may be an idea to make notes of questions you have - when you fo to your appointments and then jot down the answers. It could help you with your decison making process. 

Work, in due course, may also become a challenge, but it can be dealt with, if it should have to be. I, by now, have some experience with that - and am still working post operation and post 3rd chemo treatment - and I am in a customer facing business development positon.

So all of this is a manageable process and all of us will support you as much as possible through this.

In a short while you should be able to enable your Private Messaging facility.

Feel free to pm me, should you wish to be ‘off forum’ 

Huge Hug

Sue xxx

 

 

 

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So the Herceptin results aren’t back yet… :frowning: boo

 

so Friday instead of today I’m back there and seeing about reconstruction. Next steps.

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I was 49 when diagnosed in August 2013, I had skin sparing mx with temporary implant, a week later an ANC as cancer found in one sentinel node, 6 rounds fec-t, finishing on xmas eve - so naff xmas & no immunity for NYE so spent that alone with a large glass of bubbly, temp implant replaced June 14, reduction of other boob to match Feb 15, nipple made on implant side at the end of 2015, then nipple tattoo earlier this year. My hair has grown back albeit somewhat thinner ?, eyebrows are a bit patchy, went through menopause at warp speed so aches & hot flushes but these are now getting less but it’s a small price to pay for you life.
Not gonna lie, it’s not a walk in the park and it certainly isn’t easy but you do come out the other side.
Oh and I had my annual Mammo yesterday - all clear yay.
Best of luck xx

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Thanks I’m over the moon.
Yes I found this forum a life saver for my sanity I’m sure the men in white coats would have taken me away & I’d be rocking in a corner if it wasn’t for the friends I made on the chemo monthly thread - whilst we don’t chat in here anymore most of us we are still in regular contact on FB.

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When I was first diagnosed last year I remember reading people’s posts on here and being totally amazed that people were talking about holidays ,going to concerts ,making plans ,I thought how can you carry on doing normal things amongst all of this ???But the truth is that after the initial shock has died down you do get your head around this and manage to reclaim some sort of normality ,it does take a little time but no matter what your diagnosis /treatment you do find a way.The first weeks are a whirlwind full of anxiety ,but once you have a plan in place and you know what happens next you will feel calmer .There is lots of support and advice on this site.Good luck with your MRI scan that is standard with lobular cancer as it is difficult to see on mammogram and they need to advise you on your surgical options with a clear picture of the size of the tumour .Let us know how hit get on .Jill.

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Still no Herceptin results - gone for a FISH test. Talked to reconstruction surgeon today - my brain feels boggled (so you take my back and belly and make a new breast?!) but there you go. Seeing Oncologist in a couple of weeks potentially. Will hope to know more then about whether surgery will be first or chemo.

 

all a learning curve…

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Thanks Sue and RunningFree (Cath). I need to get my head round the information. 

 

As horrible as it is to know what what you have had to deal with Sue, it puts things in perspective for me. Thank you heartily.

 

and in good news I made it to parkrun today and got a PB again (33:58).

:womanlol:

 

go me! (I know that it may be tough to get in more than a gentle run on my ‘good’ week so making the most of them (plus great excuse to not run in the winter months!!)

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Well, I’ve been lurking around the edges of this forum since diagnosis - Grade 2 ductal invasive, with WLE planned for next week. Finally, I feel I have something of note to add - about duvets! I had endometrial cancer and had a total hysterectomy, with ovaries removed to minimise chance of breast cancer … Hmm well, 4 months off an all clear and here I am with breast cancer, having struggled through almost 5 years of enforced menopause with no hrt :frowning: The best and most wonderful purchase I made was a chillow - just about the only thing that made the nights bearable, along with a 4 tog duvet! However, with my other half freezing, we splashed out on a wool duvet from M&S. It seems to keep me cool and him toasty, so worth the expense. i guess with tablets on the cards after radiotherapy, I’d better prepare for Menopause take 2 …

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Thank you. I feel remarkably calm … As long as I keep cleaning and gardening: and generally distracting myself. Think I’m more in shock to be at home feeling fine and not at work, feels like I’m bunking off, which is ridiculous I know! The nagging lurking fear is that the histology will mean a change of plan to chemo but trying to keep a lid on the paranoid thinking. How do you feel about going back to work? X

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That won’t be an easy return, as full on. I work in the community and hoping this time for a more supportive phased return, rather than welcome back, here’s your caseload! X

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Thoughtful doc! Occ health apparently don’t want to be involved with me, with my manager (who has been great) saying he got the sense they wouldn’t be much interested when I go back. This time I plan to have a written phased return and be tough as old boots at sticking to it!! ?

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Hi all, well the MRI was fine but the needle for cannula … I am not good with needles. Screeched with her pulling the plaster off at the end. My veins sadly look all lovely and inviting and then… HIDE!

 

just got a call this morning. My chemo starts Tuesday.  No time to get my head around. Feeling a hot and woozy but that could be the weather !

 

managed our end of season choir concert last night (frying hot venue) but at least it is done.

 

trying to sort my head out …

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Thanks Runningfree. My WLE is next Wednesday and will be pleased to finally get it done. Just been taken out by colleagues for supper, they all arrived with a book or dvd they had enjoyed to keep me amused. So thoughtful and work gossip a great distraction. ?

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I feel like I need an acronym dictionary: WLE?

 

is there a quick dictionary?

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LisaMary given how you feel about needles, it might be worth you considering a port.  Once it’s in they just connect all you chemo to that instead of having to find a vein each time.  I had one after the first chemo & have to say it was a godsend.  I used ametop cream on it & never felt a thing throughout 13 chemos.  I chose a port rather than a PICC because I’m quite active & sporty & you can still do those x