Really hope you don’t mind me telling my story but sometimes you just have to rant to someone and I can’t think of anyone more empathetic, than the people on this forum! So here goes…
You always remember the moment your told you have breast cancer don’t you, but when your being told for the second third fourth fifth etc… it becomes more of a battle to pick up the battern each time, don’t you think? You start to feel War weary and battle hardened! Loved ones around are great! But only you and your oncologist know the obstacles you are about to face…the operation or operations, the chemo, the sleepless nights, the sickness, the sadness, the anger the radiotherapy etc… still you know you’ve got to do it if you want to carry on living!
You give up so much for Cancer but one thing I will never give up is HOPE. If you give this up your lost I feel and Cancer wins! Perhaps I’m being too presumptuous? But if any one can share their thoughts with me about how they keep going, I would be so grateful! Take care all.
Sending you big hugs right now, I can’t even begin to imagine going through it a third time time, let alone fourth! Rant all you want, its important to get it off your chest to people who understand what having this disease entails xxx
I completely agree with what you said about you feel battle-hardened but at the same time very weary of it all. Like you, I never give up hope and I am so glad to hear you manage to maintain this time and time again! I wholeheartedly believe its so important and what keeps us going. I have only been diagnosed with secondaries this once but I have sat and contemplated what happens if/when I get told about progression, or a new cancer or something else going wrong…and I feel so tired just thinking about it!
I take one day at a time and I keep myself as busy as possible when feeling well. When I’m feeling tired or the meds are giving me side effects, I slow it down and indulge in little treats to ease my day (such as spending all day on the sofa binge-reading books, or playing games on my PS4/phone/computer). I always concentrate on how I feel in the now and I don’t think much about the future or make any plans too far ahead. Meditation apps and music have also been amazing for me and I listen to these every day - I’m convinced that if you distract your senses, your mind will soon follow!
It’s never easy, is it? I had my 3rd breast cancer diagnosis this year, but 4th (fifth? Four and a half-th?) cancer diagnosis overall. If there’s any positive (hah!) about it it’s maybe that you’re not going into things quite as terrified of the unknown. You’ve been here, too often, but you’ve survived and will again xx