So diagnosed 8th March DCIS with micro invasion, with another 8cm area of abnormality. Left sided mastectomy 30th March still with drain in. Had some weird cardiac issue Sunday rushed back to a&e. I thought I was both physically and mentally strong until this but life as I know it has just stopped. My life is cancer or pain or not sleeping. And I’m so angry at everyone. And I haven’t looked yet. So have bcn tomorrow for drain removal and softie fitting. Trying to figure out how to blag it without looking. Every time think about looking have a major, as in major meltdown. And feeling quite pathetic about it.
Sorry you are feeling like this. I had mx 17 March and had no drain or dressing from the start. I looked the next day when I was getting dressed in hospital. It wasn’t as bad as I thought, I look at it everyday when I have showered and it is getting better as I am now smothering it with cream to keep it moist and soften the scar.
I first showed the nurse at my GPs as I had fluid building up on it and wanted it looking at. I apologised to her and said it wasn’t pretty and she said she had seen much worse. The scar is part of who we are and tells a story of our life. Please don’t be scared of it, it has possibly saved your life. It will be hidden and no one else need see it. My husband hasn’t seen mine yet, I don’t mind him looking at it but it upsets him. We will get used to it.
My GP changed morphine to tramadol and that helps me sleep through the night. I have reduced the paracetamol almost zero now, I just take it if I over do things and it feels uncomfortable.
Be strong, sending you a hug.
Heather
Hi tgregory. I had left mastectomy in April last year. Like you, I couldn’t look at myself. My breast care nurse took my dressing off and we looked together. Even after that I didn’t like to look at myself in the mirror or in the shower etc. I would feel better when I’d put my bra with softie in on. Have you discussed reconstruction? I am still considering it but, nearly a year on, I’ve become used to being a uniboob and it doesn’t bother me as much and I don’t think I can face yet more surgery. I was very uncomfortable in changing rooms but now, although I don’t flaunt it, I’m not that bothered about people seeing me. Two boobs is best but you do get used to it. Better to lose a boob than your life - that’s what I keep telling myself! You’ll surprise yourself at how strong you will become. Sending hugs Debbie x
I have only just started wearing a very soft elasticated bra, from Peacoks cost 8 quid. It has removable soft inserts both sides. I take out the one for normal boob and just use the insert for the flat side. Works ok for me as was only 34b bra anyway. I step into it and pull it up and slip arms in, not risking going over my head yet.
Since I left hospital I was wearing a camisole top under loose shirts, they were 4 quid for 2 from Asda. So comfortable and didn’t rub scar at all. I bought a bigger size than normal. Healthy boob was ok in it but it didn’t have any support for 2 weeks.
Good luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you.
BTW crying is good, it shows feelings, happy, sad and relief. That’s happy the surgery is over, sad because you have lost a boob and relief because the cancer is out of your body.
Hx
Thank you so much ladies. Had my drain removed. Got given a softie in the packet as hadn’t taken bra. I explained to the bcn that I wasn’t ready yet and she was fine. Just said everything is at my pace and no one would rush me. I can’t put any cream on anywhere yet for another couple of weeks but at least the drain has gone. Just next week for results now. I really appreciate the positive comments though. Had my appointment today and didn’t cry once so was brave ?.
Tracey
My work colleagues have named my softie Dolly as in Dolly Parton, it is way too big. Was given a medium size one but as I am 34B I think it should have been a small one! Dolly has undergone liposuction today and I took out half the filling to make it like my left one.
Will be happier when I get !y proper one!
Doug and Douglas made me laugh.
So the funny thing is when we left the hospital Wednesday my husband happened to be carrying the newly issued softie. And if course commented on how soft it was. I gave to say it was amusing watching him walking through the car park commenting on my new false breast. Who he promptly naned Titiana!
You guys are amazing. Thank you for being there.
P.S Titiana is safety tucked away in the wardrobe and still haven’t looked. After having the drain out yesterday had my worst day for pain which was disappointing.