On Tuesday the 18th it will be a year since a lost my beautiful mum to breast cancer. I cant believe how quick the year has gone or how different my life is today. I didnt really know how to mark the day, its not as if I need a special day to think of my mum as I still do this several times a day(every day) so I thought I would post on this site as I havent done so for such a long time.
This time last year was just awful, we knew that she was dying and so did she(she had been given 3 months to live in July so we still thought we had some time left. However she deteriorated very quickly so it was a shock to realise that she was slipping away from us. I feel that I coped very well after she died as I had been sad for such a long time watching her being so ill and we talked a lot about life, death and everything really that I believe she helped me cope with what was happening and in some way it was a release for all of us. I just wanted her to get better but this wasnt going to happen and it was awful watching her suffer. I suppose that is the only thing about knowing someone is dying - you have time to say goodbye and to tell them how much you love them. But I miss her terribly and each special occassion this year has been hard. Alot has happened and I wish she was here to share things with us.
Her becoming ill and dying has affected how I feel about life. the things that used to worry me dont now and I try to put things into perspective. We all a guilty of worrying over silly things, but I just think back to how my mum just wanted to live and how everything else was unimportant in comparison.
To all of you with mums still fighting I wish you all the best, I am sure I dont have to tell you to treasure every minute you have with your mums, tell them how much you love them and just be there for them.x
Your mum would be really proud of you. As a mum I worry most about leaving my children, and wanting them to be happy if i’m not here. It’s great that you can put things into perspective and not worry about silly things that others worry about. Live well and enjoy it for your mum.
Love Julie X
As I read your post, I could tell that was from your heart. Hugs to you
Hi Sharon
I have been wanting to contact you for ages, but my username wouldnt work. When I saw your post I re registered! I have just got through the year as well (Aug 24th). I actually went away for a few days with my friends over the anniversary, I didnt want to be at home. The actual day went ok but since then I have been feeling a lot more upset that I have done. I think it just brings everything back doesnt it. I spent the days before the anniversary remembering everything that happened at the hospital and got myself into a state.
I hope that you are ok. It would be lovely to hear from you and catch up. Joanne x x x x x
Hi FORJAN
You will always be sad for your loss but you will, as time goes on, smile at memories more than cry, all in good time though.
My younger sister and I have BC and I was 8 when our Mum died from BC and in those days it wasn’t thought the “right thing” to be taking little kids into hospitals to say goodbyes so I regret that forever; we didn’t even know she was dying really, just too young. I can see you know you were lucky to have that chance. I still feel robbed of that and robbed of growing up without a mother. I’m not a mother (from choice) was too scared that I would get BC and leave young children behind - was a wise decision although a very stark choice to have to make.
Keep your focus on the positive things that have happened since losing your lovely Mum. Your priorities have changed, you don’t let little things get under your skin, you know what’s important in life and it sounds to me as if you are getting it right and that your Mum will be somewhere out there smiling and very proud of you, well done.
Thank you for posting this week (anniversaries are tough times) and wishing everyone well.
All good wishes for you and the family.
D
Hi Joanne lovely to hear from you. I am sorry you have been feeling so down. Its only natural to think back to all you and your mum went through. I am sure this will pass and the happy memories will come back. How is your baby ? I have thought of you often and checked the postings to see if you had been on but thought you would have been so busy with your new arrival ?
If you want to “talk” about how you are feeling about your mum I would love to hear from you, I know our circumstances are slightly different but how we felt about our mums was exactly the same. I am ok - a bit down over the last week as you said reliving everything that happened this time last year felt very raw. We had a meal with my dad and my brother on the actual day but no-one except my oldest daughter really wanted to talk about things (thats men for you I suppose!) I would love to keep in touch so hope to hear from you again. Take care. Sharonxx
Hiya
I dont think I have recieved a private message, but I cant really work out how to use this anymore so I may be lying! My email address is (email address removed - Moderator) if you want to email me privately. If my email has been removed I will contact the moderator and see if there is a way round it. I am off to centre parks tonight, so wont be back on line until Monday. Hope you are ok. xxxxx
Hiya
So my email address has been removed and I cant work out at all how to send a private message. I have seen a note from Belinda saying that if you join breastcancer.org you can send private messages. I have joined it so that we can chat, my user name is Joclare. If you go into community knowledge exchange, and then register, and then go to the link that says ‘change it within your my home page’ and there it has an inbox for private messages and you can send them too! xxxx