Hi @whataloadof
I haven’t been on these forums for a few months, as I’m trying my best to put all this behind me! But for some reason came on today and read your post.
I’m about to start Cycle 9. And have to say that suddenly the whole 26 cycle thing seems completely achievable. But back on Cycle 3 I was having a complete nightmare and had diarrhoea almost every day, it didn’t matter what I ate or didn’t eat, and I was really worried about how it was affecting all my other tablets (letrozole, adcal, ibandronic acid). It was never more than 3 bouts a day (4 loperamide) but it really affected my way of life, and I felt more housebound than I ever did during chemo as I was scared to go anywhere or do anything with the diarrhoea being so unpredictable. I felt like I might as well drink coffee and eat takeaways because why not when it doesn’t make any difference how “good” you are! So when I had my monthly phone call that month, I told them exactly how I felt - I wasn’t sure the diarrhoea was “bad enough” for them to do anything, but they gave me a 2 week break, then my oncologist phoned me (it’s normally a nurse) and dropped me to 100mg no quibbles at all.
Since then it’s been so much better. I do take 1 loperamide pretty much every day as a precaution (they are happy with me doing this). I have maybe 2 or 3 bouts of diarrhoea each cycle, sometimes just because, and sometimes I’ve tried a food that doesn’t agree with the tablets. If I’ve taken 2/3 loperamide one day I then have a day or two off them before I go back to 1 a day. But basically I can live - I can go out for meals, shopping, cinema, walks and not worry, which makes it feel a lot more bearable.
My bloods have been fine throughout, even when I struggled mentally with Cycle 3. My nails have had black spots appear but they seem to be growing out. I think my hair is ok, it might have slowed up but it’s thick and definitely growing if a bit out of control at the moment! My energy levels are also ok, I’ve been back at work since a few weeks after I started, but I am only part time and don’t know if I’d manage full time. I do have the energy for gardening and housework on my days off, and cooking evening meals - silly things, but they all help you feel normal. I’m normally ready for bed around 10, but am an early bird and am still waking around 6 - 6.30am and feeling rested. I don’t need naps or rests during the day at all.
I definitely struggled with fitness early on, I lost a lot of fitness last year with the surgeries and chemo, and think the radiotherapy must have hammered my lungs as I felt very much like I was recovering from a nasty bout of flu breathing wise. Lots of wheezing and gasping! But I have slowly and surely been building up walk/hike lengths through the year and there has definitely been a massive improvement - so keep plugging away at that, you will get there. I think it’s easy to underestimate what we have been through physically, and what an invisible toll it must have taken on our bodies.
I honestly think you should try the lower dose if you can - it works just as well, and we deserve to have our lives back! I feel so much more like me now - more positive, and very much have a “17 more cycles? No problem!” attitude. I’m also confident if I did need to drop again at any point, they wouldn’t argue with me. I’m still having monthly bloods and phonecalls, so know the team are keeping a close eye on me.
I think you will be amazed at the difference a lower dose can make both physically and mentally - it’s not a sign of failure, lots of us can’t tolerate that high dose, and I really wish they’d just start us all on 100mg.
I hope that helps you a bit. Big hugs xx