Advice for a worried husband

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Hi,

My wife who is now 41 was diagnosed with stage 4 grade 2 breast cancer in February this year her right hand breast, lymph nodes under her right arm, lymph on her breast bone and in right hand side of her neck there is also mass in right lung, unfortunately it is in-operable. She has had chemo 6 treatments every 3 weeks (mixed results) and then 15 radiotherapy treatments in September which had knocked her tumours back considerably but it is still there but inactive for the moment - we were then cast adrift with a scan every three month. We have been told it is incurable but remain positive as best we can.

Recently she has had reddening of her right breast and pain in her neck - contacted hospital where she has been checked out yesterday with ultra sound and examination. We have been told all is the same and the reddening could be delayed reaction to the Radiotherapy but there might be some activity in 2 lymph nodes on the right hand side of her neck. Her consultant says she is ‘sitting on the fence’ regarding this but wants to keep an eye on how things develop and has booked my wife a CT scan for 3rd January 2012 with a follow up appointment on 1st Feb.

At the beginning my wife rightly or wrongly didn’t want to know all the ins and outs but to some extent is gradually changing her mind. I want to be as proactive as I can be, she is perfectly happy with this and has given full permission for me to be told anything I wish to know but I am mindful of her feelings so don’t ask too many probing questions at consultations.

I am concerned that we will be waiting a long time before we will know what is happening (14th Dec to 1st Feb) and if the cancer is active it seems a long time to leave it to its own devices, am I probably over-reacting? - ANY ADVICE

I must add that I have been impressed with my wife’s care up to now but presently I feel a little fobbed off!

Sorry for the long winded post

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I am sorry about your current situation and that you are feeling fobbed off. Unfortunately, I can’t offer any advice, however I am bumping this up and hope that someone else is able to offer you some advice/support. Best wishes to both you and your wife. J.

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Hi Wellmeant,

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums, I’m sure there will be others along shortly to give you some much needed support.

Could I suggest that you give our helpline a ring and have a chat with them about your concerns. Calls to the helpline are free, 0808 800 6000 lines are open again on Monday morning at 9am (M-F 9-5 & Sat 9-2).

I hope this helps. Take care,
Jo, Facilitator

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Hello, sorry to hear about your wife. I also have secondaries (or stage 4). My hospital appointments are always 3 monthly and I would think that that is probably standard practice. My cancer is in my liver and bones and I usually have a CT scan and blood test followed by a consultation on a three-monthly basis. So far, and touch wood, I have been stable for nearly two years. If you are especially concerned about your wife’s condition, you could ask to speak to your oncologist and they may agree to see you. Any deterioration or new symptoms should always be reported immediately. Sometimes scan results are difficult to read, hence your onc. wanting to wait until the next appointment where results can be compared. I’ve been in this situation due to a lymph node in my chest possibly being enlarged. My onc. explained that it was difficult, due to its position, to be sure that it had enlarged and as my general health and blood tests were good, she opted to wait until the next scan. Thankfully there was no growth.

I wish you and your wife all the best.
Alison