I’m a 44 year old married mum of two (kids aged 9 and 4) who was diagnosed with breast in August. At initial diagnosis the consultant thought it would be a simple lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy however an MRI showed the tumour was 7.5cm and a left sided mastectomy was needed. There was no sign that it had spread to the lymph nodes so the new plan was mastectomy and radiotherapy. I had the mastectomy on the 10th September and removal of the sentinel node for biopsy. The Surgery went well and I healed really well.
On 17th Ocotber I received my pathology results which said I was cancer free however micro cells were found in the lymph node so I would need chemo as well as radiotherapy. I saw the oncologist early November and yesterday I had my first EC treatment. I have 3 x 3weekly cycles of EC, and then weekly Taxol chemo for 9 weeks.
Today I have felt really tired and sickly and found the steroids are making me feel worse. I really feel like I can’t do this and fear the next 4 months is going to be awful for me but also my children. I’m not the mum they are used to, even though they have been amazing through all of this.
Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with it and how to feel mentally stronger?
Hi @cornwall1234 .It might be worth joining the November chemo starters thread - you will get lots of advice and support there from people going through chemo at the same time and tips from those further along .Hoping you feel a bit better soon.
Yes @cornwall1234 please join our November thread first cycle slammed me too. It’s a process working out how to manage with everything. We are here for you xx
I’m 3.5 years on, doing really well, & in my sixties so no little ones to deal with. But I also had a 7.5 cm tumour in my left breast, with spread to lymph nodes, & exactly the same treatment & chemo programme as you.
There’s no doubt that EC/Taxol is tough, physical & mentally, but you’ll get through it, as will your kids. I tended to have 7-10 days at the end of each cycle where I felt better, not normal, but able to go out & about & had more energy. Try to plan a few family treats or outings during that time to cheer everyone up. Do some shopping & stock up on any snacks & drinks that might appeal when you’re feeling a bit rough. You’ll get back to proper meals and a balanced diet eventually!
Also, take up any offers from friends or family to help while you’re not feeling so great e.g to cook meals, take the kids out, do shopping etc. That might allow you to rest more, especially if you’re not sleeping well.
Try to find something that helps you to relax while you’re stuck in bed or on the sofa. Watching TV or looking at my phone made me queasy, so I got into music on BBC Sounds, podcasts & audiobooks. I struggled with feeling guilty lying there “doing nothing”, but you just have to do whatever gets you through.
I had a friend who’d had a lot of chemo, & her reassurance & support was invaluable. So use the forum, your nurses, Maggie’s centre, or whatever’s available to find some support when you’re feeling low. Be kind to yourself, you will come out the other side & be there for your kids for many years to come!
Hello, I feel for you. It is not an easy journey but when you look back, you will be so glad you did it all. I had my treatment years ago. I had 6 x 3 weekly EC. I found each cycle was different, there was no rhyme or reason. Some were easy, a couple were not so easy. I worked throughout my chemo and only had a few days off after each treatment. Work, keeping busy was important to me. I think I’m trying to say, you will have up days, down days and days in the middle. You will get through it and pop out the otherside. Be kind to yourself and try and plan a few nice treats along the way. I always did something nice just before my next chemo, as I felt at my best then. Take care and I hope it all whizzes by for you.
Thank you all for your replies. I ended up back in the chemo unit on Friday getting IV anti sickness drugs and fluids so I’m feeling much better now. The Dr has prescribed an Aknyzeo capsule to take before my next cycle so I’m praying for good things with that.
I hear you. I REALLY hear you. I’m on my first EC round and have just had a brutal 24 hours of self-loathing, self-pity and general hatred of the world.
I have been keeping a journal/diary since diagnosis a month ago. Just finished writing my reflections on yesterday and it was gloriously liberating to shout, scream, howl and swear unreservedly. I did feel better after expressing how much I hate the world right now.
I’m too early in this journey to be able to offer any other practical insights, but spewing out feelings did help me.
Meanwhile, remember your helpline number. According to what I was told, it might be possible to get some tweaks on the anti sickness meds to help. Sending love and solidarity. x
I’ve kept a journal of each day too and it’s helped see things do get easier. Definitely call that helpline number if you need it, I left it 3 days and definitely won’t do that again. The nurse asked me why I didn’t call and I did the usual thing of you’re busy, I’m a wimp, there’s got to be a certain amount of illness and I was told absolutely not. There are things to help us and we are absolutely not meant to be suffering x
Hi there! This is my first time back on the board for a while and your post jumped out on me. I did EC second after a taxol and it is much worse so you are getting the worst out of the way first which I think is better (honestly taxol will be like a walk in the park after EC). Things that worked for me to get through EC (I had 4, finished 21.1.25).
Steroids (I was on the dexa) - take a reducing dose. Everyone is prescribed the same, halve the dose so it lasts longer (obv check with your team but this is a thing). This will eliminate the massive crash when you come off them.
Aprepitant - if you have not been prescribed this get it, you are entitled to it. It’s the king of the anti emetics and it works. At my hospital they didn’t routinely prescribe it because of £££
My child was 3 when I was going through this and with the 2 things above (which I realised after cycle 1) EC was fine for me.
Hope you are okay and please feel free to reach out if you have any more questions
Thank you for your response. I am so much better now. I had the IV fluids and anti sickness on the Friday, felt a little hungover Saturday and Sunday and then back to normal. They have prescribed Akynzeo which is a netupitant so lasts up to five days as a strong sickness, I’ll still also have the standard anti sickness and lower dose steroids so I have high hopes for the next cycle. Good to know about the Paclitaxel too, I’m just focusing on the next 2 EC then I’ll think about the PICC and Palicataxel.
How are you doing now? I bet you’re glad this part is over x
I’m doing really well thankyou. I’m on abemaciclib which you will see a lot of people post about on here as being really awful but I’ve been fine on it, barely any issues so if you do end up on that try not to read on here about it! Life got back to normal (of a fashion, life is never normal) fairly quickly once radiotherapy was finished for me, I’ve had 3 x holidays since then (the first was 10 x days after finishing radiotherapy, don’t let anyone tell you this isn’t possible hospitals and treatment teams have to go worst case scenario you know your body!). You really need stuff to look forward to. I also exercised the whole way through chemo which really helped my body too I think. Not saying any of this to brag but I remember when I was starting feeling positive reading nice stories because these boards (great as they are) people mainly share the bad bits. My hair has come back strong and less grey, bizarrely, I can just about tie it up now 11.5 months post chemo. And my now 4 yo daughter vaguely remembers me “taking my hair off” as part of my cancer treatment and sometimes asks why I no longer take my hair off but that’s it
The Oncologist did say about having abemaciclib for 2 years and Tamoxifen for 5 years once radiotherapy is done but I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. I do have a weekend break booked for Easter so once chemo has finished but before radiotherapy and the hospital are aware of it.
Thank you for your posts, they make everything seem more positive. I’m just keeping everything crossed that I have a better time next week and can enjoy Christmas (as much as you can in this situation) x
Apart from our ages, this is literally my life. I’ve just finished 3 rounds of EC and I can’t even put into words how I feel. Now on day 9 and the bones pain is intense. My body can move but my mind can’t get it to move. I am scared how this will impact my kids.
I’m so sorry you feel like that. How old are your children? I was due my final (3rd) EC today but it was rescheduled to next week due to the Oncologist being on annual leave. My second round was a lot better because I was given an extra anti sickness capsule but the fatigue and general feeling blah was awful for a week.
My 4 year old has taken it all in her stride, she isn’t really aware of what is happening. My 9 year old on the other hand has become really anxious about everything so I’m in the process of trying to get support for him.
@cornwall1234 I felt exactly the same way on the first session of EC. If you’re feeling bad on the steroids, ring the chemo unit and have a chat. They might be able to give you something to help now, but if not, at least they can tweak things for the next session.
My experience on EC has been that I felt high on steroids for a day or two, then had a monster emotional chemo crash (which is where you might be at now?) where the world felt like it was caving in, but it passed. Then I felt aches and pains and tiredness for a few days. Then, all of a sudden, I felt fine (apart from fatigue). It was like a switch was on and I was ‘back in the room’.
Have a chat with your BCN who can refer you for some talking therapy, who can go through some techniques to help you cope emotionally. You will be seen quickly and it is free as part of the service.
I am only on round 2 (third one today Taxol) but I did find that I settled in to a rhythm with the EC.
The biggest (and toughest) learning for me has been to accept help, and not hold myself up to high standards. The house is a wreck, but sod it, that can all wait until this is over.
It feels massively overwhelming at the start, but trust yourself. You can do it, you will dig deep and find a resilience you never knew you possessed. Keep talking here too if it helps you. X
I feel that emotional crash too but like you say it passes. The first week of EC I’m so fatigued and just feel a bit rubbish then I’m back to normal week 2 and 3.
How have you found taxol in comparison? Are you working whilst in treatment? I start paclitaxel on 3rd Feb and am trying to get an idea of feels on that.
I’ve found this forum has been amazing for support x
I start docetaxel today so will let you know. I’m going to be on THP (Herceptin). I will let you know my findings.
I’m not working through this, so there are benefits in that I can just flop out. The down side is that I am self-employed, so not getting sick pay and living off my savings, which is tough. I’ve applied for PIP but heard nothing yet.
Here’s hoping the THP regimen will be ok. I’m nervous if I’m. honest. x
first cycle slammed me too. It’s a process working out how to manage with everything. We are here for you xx