hi Sandra,
good luck with the 2nd tax, my 2nd tax is a week tomorrow, i am stating to get all nervous again. I hope the 1st was the worst one, fingers crossed. i would be interested to see how you get on with the 2nd one.
take care
anna
Hi All
WELL THATS ME FINISHED COOKING TODAY…YIPEEEEEEEE
Only1chris…its not as bad as you might think, can only go on my experience had 15 no soreness, slight redness thats all, not really tired like chemo tired but just find i still need to have a rest in the afternoon when i can, slapping on loads of E45 morning and night and thats about it really. good luck with yours x
seems really strange now knowing that my invasive treatment is over start Tamoxifen tonight and have got herceptin as well…i feel abit scared now its all over… strange huh.
Just gonna try and get my life back to normal and enjoy it…still feels weird though.
Hope everyones ok
take care Sally xx
Hi, well done Sally, it must feel strange to have completed it all. Yay
Hi all
Thank you for your posts. Sally really pleased for you that you have finished rads. It must be a strange feeling as this is such an intense time and when it stops it must feel really weird.
My next lot of Fec is next Tuesday and instead of enjoying this time I now have of feeling okish I am getting more and more worked up about it. The thought of them trying to find a vein then pumping me full of poison just makes me keep bursting into tears. I thought I was quite a strong person but I seem to have become this miserable, tearfull, scared woman. I am going to ask the consultant about giving up chemo and find out how that affects my outcome. The thought of spending christmas feeling depressed and ill is not something I want to do. Sorry for the miserable post. Karen
Hi all, Only been away a week and so many posts, congrats Sally on finishing rads, when’s the party? I’m on day 7 after 4th TAC and they did say it would get a bit worse each time but this has been a belter, still feel totally blasted. I know how you feel Karen about all this stuff being pumped into us, you are a strong person, try to make the most of the last few days before the next one. Don’t give up on the chemo, believe me I feel so tempted too.
Don’t know about you and the rest of you, but when I feel so low about it all I feel so alone. Everyone, family and friends and workmates are getting on with their lives as always whereas mine has come to a standstill. I feel that I am fading out of their lives and they’re forgetting about me. Having said that, 2 of my friends came round today, one with home made soup the other with a casserole, also had a call from another friend and from my mum, oh and not forgetting the GP who called to see me and check me over!! So I shouldn’t complain should I, oh and my daughter who’s a hospital sister and does my dreaded tum jabs!
See, life is definitely looking up, good nights sleep tonight (please) and tomorrow will be another day! One downside is that my mother in law is in hospital after having had 4 strokes in quick succession (she’s 89 on Sat) and I would love to get to see her (4 hours journey) but GP advised against because of risk of infection. Hubby will have to go though.
Gosh, will stop now, I’ve obviously missed you all, writing my life story here! Take care everyone.
Dae x
Hi Dae, nice to see you have got through the 4th one, on a selfish note, very nice to hear that it has gotten better with each cycle, i hated the 1st tax, and am dreading the 2nd tax which is next week. Sorry to hear about your mother in law, thats a lot in such a short time.
take care
anna
Hey Dae- good to see you back. Yes we all have those feelings; and it certainly has helped me to see who my real friends are. I used to bother about upsetting other people, what they think etc… not now.I have realised how unimportant they are in my life. That said am planning to go to my bridge club for the first time since May tonight and am very nervous. Dont want people feeling sorry for me ! ( and i look dire) Dont want intrusive questions - and my husband is quite scared i might be more than honest with those who havent so much as called or sent a card if they dare to ask ( Like “i only talk about my health with my real friends those who have kept in touch over the last few months”… will i wont i?? The old me wouldn’t. This new me just might! So sorry about your mother in law Dae… what a load of s…t seems to fall at once.
Sally thanks for those kind and supportive words. Good to hear someone has not had too bad a time of it gives me hope.
Karen and ??? doh last post 2nd tax… forgive me chemo brain! (How will i count the cardds tonight ??? !!!)
Every tax treatment i said " thats it not doing another" Then somehow i did and the end came…Every time starting about the Thursday of my “good” week i started to get depressed as i anticipated the Tuesday treatment; but you know the fear is actually worse than the real thing. Each time i dreaded what the side effects would be; would they be worse?? In all honesty, though usually different, they are manageable. You DO have the strength. Energy? Well that is the main problem -tiredness and feeling you are no longer “you” because you cant “do” all you did before… But if you rest and enjoy the company of GOOD friends and family the time does somehow pass and you will not have to look back and regret not giving yourself the best chance. Dig in there gals!!
Poison? One way of looking at it. My friend who was going through this 7 years ago said " try thinking of it as heat-seeking missiles -on their way to blast those free tumour cells…" Pow Zap !! then drink lots of fluid to help flush the toxins out- about 2-3 litres / day (no more as dont want to dilute too much)and this will help you feel better sooner. I made a chart and ticked of the glasses and cups each day (having measured them) No nothing tastes that great but drink it anyway. Iced ginger ale i found one of the best…you will find your own. BTW my friend who had a poor prognosis looks great and is living a great life now. Yesterday when i confessed how down i was she said try visialisation… “when the bad thoughts come push them away and see yourself where you want to be when all this treatment is over…” so am sitting on a balcony in a vineyard in south Africa… view is to die for, sun is shining and the wine is chilled in the glass and sharp as gooseberries. Cheers all! Will i see anyone else there???
Hi chris, how very inspirational! I will certainly bare all of that in mind when i have my next cycle. I think maybe i got off very lightly with the EC, and the tax was quite a shock, even though i knew it was hard going. I wonder if they give you the nasty one last for a reason?
take care
anna
Hi Chris
Yes you will see me there, what condition I will be in remains to be seen but there I will be! I have read many posts about the Tax and I am now scared. I am very sick and nauseous on the Fec. My consultant told me I can have the tablet emend whilst on Fec but not on Tax so I am terrified of being sick. It sounds like the SE are so much worse which I think is what is scaring me. I hate the person I have become I so long to have the old Karen back but wonder whether she ever will be back. I read many posts on this forum and feel quite ashamed of myself to be so negative because many of the women on here sound so positive.
Oh to be chemo free!
Karen
Hi Karen,
There is life after Tax, I know because I have been there. I was never sick or nauseous on Tax although I did have many other side effects. I was given tablets to prevent sickness and they did work. You have to be brave and just take everything a day at a time, it’s the only way to get through. Don’t feel like you are a wimp, you are being put through hell and it’s fine to feel scared. Just keep asking for help and advice here and someone will respond.
E
Hi Karen, i just wanted to add that i have read quite a few threads on tax and although i felt really nauseous i think most people were less nauseous on the tax than the EC. Sorry if anything i have written has scared you, it is really hard going, but it must be doable if i am going back for the next one. And if it gets us the end result that we want, then it has got to be worth it. I think maybe i just need different meds to help me through it.
take care
anna
Hi Karen,
Also not really sick or nauseous on tax… just damn tired and achey. The aches pass off ; the tiredness is cumulative but manageable though miserable. Water retention, dry orifices, lack of taste for me the other main symptoms. Kept my nails (so far) no numbness… we all are different in what we get but we all can cope with the ones we get and things will pass. You also get to know roughly how long before you start to feel better, and i found that helped. You KNOW things will improve and there will be good days again.
Prepare for the worst ( rest, drink lots, moisturise etc etc )but hope for the best
Oh how wonderfully positive i sound! But s…t scared about my next stage - the rads. Now repeat prepare for worst hope for the best…
Going to bed now will keep saying this to myself…Oh how sexy i am slathered with aqueous gel as i start to prepare my breast for the fires to come…
Oh BTW won at my bridge club tonight!! Maybe chempo brain is also starting to pass off??
Good morning, feel a lot stronger today! Karen you NEED NOT be sick on Tac, there are loads of anti sick stuff (I won’t say drugs!) they can give you - ask for them. I was very very sick with my first one but they don’t know how you are going to react until after, like the others have said, some are some aren’t. I was given strong anti sick stuff the second time and thereafter and haven’t been sick again. Being sick will just weaken you even more so really important not to be!
Oh yes I can see myself sitting on a balcony in SA drinking a glass of chilled white wine as the sun sets, bring it on!! It is important to have dreams of what we WILL be doing in a few months time, just difficult to visualise sometimes when you feel low!!
Good luck Anna with the rads, I’ve been told its a dawdle compared to chemo so no worries then!!
Dae x
Karen I wasnt sick at all on tax-rarely even nauseous unlike fec where I was sick once each cycle and felt sick a lot.
Hi Karen
I was terrified of starting Tax because I was so sick on FEC. Four hours after starting FEC I started vomiting violently and couldn’t stop for 12 hours - it was terrible. I lost 2 stone in 2 months. After two session like that I was given a different anti sickness levomepromazine which knocked me out but stopped me throwing up. I still had nausea for 11 days but that was just about bearable when taking domperidone.
I went for my first Tax expecting the same but I wasn’t sick at all. In fact I only had any nausea when I got a temperature.
If you do get any sickness ask for levomepromazine - my Onc said I could take that with Tax if I needed to.
Elinda x
Hi Karen
I too was terrified of feeling/being sick/nauseous. The nurses/cons/Dr’s/OH/Mother keep on and on telling me that there are so many ‘things’ they can give us that if one doesn’t work the next 6 will! So hang in there and keep kicking up a fuss until they find something that works for you!! (I’m having TAC (Taxotere Adrimyacin and Cyclo…er giving up on the spelling!!), so think that might slightly differ from yourself, but the anti-emetics they injected prior to treatment worked for me, and the tabs they sent me home with kept it at bay as well – I only needed them for the first 4 days, but it was only my first treatment)
I have definitely decided to stop bothering about what I sound like/seem like to others and if something isn’t right I’ll make a fuss – in spite of what the OH might say that’s not normally like me! I think we all deserve to be a little bit selfish while we’re going through this p*o.
And the old you WILL come back! I’ve had so many low moments where I wind myself deeper and deeper down thinking how this isn’t like me…what have I become….where have I gone. And when I feel like that now I try to think ‘give yourself a break’ I think we are allowed to feel a little sorry for ourselves at times, I think the worse thing we can do is keep it to ourselves – that’s why these sites are so important. As Dae said, it seems like everyone else is getting on with their lives and we are somehow stuck still. But here everyone is in the same boat, so it doesn’t matter if you’re feeling low and pessimistic, let it all out!! We’ve all been there (and I fully expect to be there again at some point before the end of it all).
So I try picking up a funny book and losing myself – I’m a BIG Terry Pratchett fan and my big sis is sending me a couple of audio books, so if I’m too tired to read, I can just listen – It works for me!!
And sometimes, just sometimes feel like lying down, kicking my feet and scweeming and scweeming until I’m sick…and I’m not ashamed to admit it!! (I tried it once when alone in the house, it didn’t work as I was laughing at myself too much by the end of it, I must have looked like a stark raving loon – can I blame that on Chemo brain after just one dose?!!)
Sarah
xxx
Hi Sarah, ha ha ha ha how very, very well put! You are so right, why shouldnt we be a little selfish, and if we think something is wrong, why shouldnt we say. I hate the district nurses doing my picc line, as lovely as they are, there is usually something they do were i think, oh i dont like that, but today i spoke up, and it was sorted, yay. And i feel so much better about them doing it now. Still cant wait for the line to come out though.
take care
anna
I am so glad I use this website, its a real life/sanity saver. we can scream, shout, moan, complain, laugh and cry and all the rest of us UNDERSTAND!!!
Dae x
Hi girls, haven’t been here for a week or so as my little boy’s been poorly (loads better now and it’s so good to be thinking about something other than BC!). Just wanted to add my support for Karen as I had 3 FEC with which I was violently ill with (vomiting 27 times in 24 hours, must be a record?!) and have just had my 2nd TAX on wednesday. I’ve had NO vomiting with the TAX, a little nausea for the 1st 2 days and bone and head pain (co-codamol and ibruprofen works for me), my nails are really tender but no sign of losing them yet and a sore throat/yukky mouth and if my 1st TAX is anything to go by then by day 7 I’m starting to feel a bit better. Because I was so ill with FEC I definitely am coping better with the TAX. And, it really does help if you can visualise that the SE’s will stop eventually and it doesn’t last forever.also remember that the dark days I have tend to be a few days after my steroids are finished which makes me feel less of a mental case when I’m crying on the floor!we are all so strong and can do this, just keep fighting even when you feel like giving up. Take care everyone, Deborah xxx
Hi,
Is this thread coming to a halt? I haven’t been on for over a week and only one post - Hi Deborah! You seem to be having a not too bad time on TAC, funny how we are all different, my friend had 3 FEC and has just finished 3 TAC and she found the TAC far worse. I’ve only (ha ha “only”) had TAC, 4 so far, and have been quite ill since the last one, nearly 3 weeks ago, just spent 8 days in hospital (only expected to be in overnight!) as I picked up an infection and my temperature keeps “spiking” at 39. Had loads of different IV antibiotics but nothing seems to stop it happening. Have been given weekend leave at home but back in tomorrow and may have to have a scan and xray. This weeks chemo has been put back a week as well which I’m glad about as I couldn’t bear the thought of not having had my usual few “good” days before starting again.
Anyway, hi to whoever is still out there!
Dae x