After a diagnosis ,surgery, radio , and the all clear from the oncologist, since july there isn’t one single day that I don’t think that the cancer is still with me. I do appriciate that my ride has been an easy one compared to most so far, but there is an anxiety of knowing that it has gone. Next Mamo October and taking the tablets and getting used to to the changes
Hi Roloted,
I have found the post treatment phase a very tough place to be for multiple reasons. Frustrations at nor being where i thougt i mught be regarding my resuming my life, to fear of what ifs. My onc has disvharged me to self care with access to the clinuc via the breast care nurses, and i have just had my first post treatments mamo - all clear.
I am trying to revise expectations, be gentle with myself and trust the new normal will become that.
I have re-engaged with the forums, and joined a local closed facebook group. I need the support of others who have an inkling of my feelings and emotions. I wish i had taken a Moving On course, but none ran locally as i became aware of them ir fitted with my return to work.
A long posting -sorry, just wanted to let you know i believe this is the new normal, and in time it will have less focus as life reasserts itself.
Thinking of you x x
LL
Hi
I am posting a link to the BCC moving forward information and support which you are welcome to access:
breastcancercare.org.uk/moving-forward
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi All
I am still having herceptin injections but had my first mammo last week since surgery, chemo and rads. I cant believe how frantic I am waiting for the results. I’ve convinced myself they are going to be bad and have started trying to plan my final few weeks/months. I know this is over the top but I can’t seem to help it. I am keeping busy but black thoughts are never far away. I dont want to spend my time doing this but just don’t seem to feel confident any more. When I was waiting for the mammo I was reading the Be Breast Aware poster, I check myself every morning in the shower and again when I get undressed at night. Each time I feel something different and really wouldn’t know if there was anything to worry about. I had a lumpectomy and Sentinel node biopsy my breast is tender and painful with an obvious lump where the clips are and scar tissue… I think I could drive myself mad with this. Waiting for the results of the mamogram is so difficult I think they should have someone at the hospital who could check them at time and let you know.
Hello just wanted to agree with your post.
I am feeling the same and it is 3 years ago today I had my last chemo. I was diagnosed at age 40 in Nov 2011 with triple negative bc which had spread to lymph nodes and I finished treatment in Sep 2012. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about a dreaded recurrence. I thought it would get easier as time went by but I am finding it more of a struggle now! I think my downfall is that I hate making a fuss and didn’t express my feelings when going through treatment. On the outside people think I am brave and strong but inside I am not!!
I also had my chemo at home and I think now that was a bad decision as I was totally in my own bubble and did not meet anyone in the same position. I wish I had chosen the option of having chemo in the hospital and perhaps I wouldn’t feel so isolated like I do now.
I know it will take time and hopefully I will be able to go longer and longer without thinking of it but wishing my fellow fighters lots of love and strength to get through. xx
Hi all
I’ve just re read through this thread and you know what struck me and it is something I have seen on lots of other threads lots of us are writing a short snippet of what treatment we have had and then we put -I’ve had it easy compared to some… While it is often true that there are people who have more problems/different treatments I think it is fair to say none of us have had it easy. Being diagnosed with BC is not at all easy. It is terrifying and life changing. I think we are so pushed into being ‘positive’ that we all try to downplay the situation.
Yes we do get on with daily life. We do grin and bear lots of unpleasant side effects and pain and we quickly learn that life carries on and for most of that we are ok But we are still terrified and the need for reassurance is never far away.
Great post fairy lady x x
I too had op and rads last July. I consider myself ‘lucky’ as I had no chemo, so the delayed after shock and depression caught me off guard. Then the joy of night sweats and hot flushes really got me down. I have had two cysts drained recently and suspect a third one is in need of attention. Am trying not to
think it could be a reoccurrence so soon after December rads. I have found that my induced menopause has been made easier by drinking lots more water (I was getting regular sore throats and they have stopped), and my onc gave me permission to take sage, it has kicked in after a couple of weeks and has improved the severity of the flushes and practically finished off my night sweats. Also the Lady Magnet available at Boots comes highly recommended. It is nearly £30 but receiving fantastic reviews on forums.
Good to see you on here Bex, I have found much comfort on these pages, it’s reassuring to know that you’re not the only one having certainly thoughts, feelings and difficulties after all the surgery etc. I will be checking out Sheena’s thread too. Always good to share, no matter how big or small the problem.
Hi Bexy and welcome to the BCC forums
Along with the support you have here have you read about our ‘Moving forward’ support? This may help in coming to terms with what you have been through, here’s the link:
I am not sure of your age but BCC offer specialist support aimed at younger women, you can read about our ‘Younger women together’ events and more here:
breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/support-you/local-support/younger-women-together
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi Bexy1 again,
I too did not do the moving forward course due to work commitments, but have completed a 2 day Living Well course at the Penny Brohn centre in Bristol. I have also visited the Maggies Centre in Oxford and i found that a very inspiring and restful place for the hour or two i was there. These may be other avenues with similar events perhaps to explore ?? i hope you find something to help you along the path you follow at the moment x x
Hi there
I didn’t have the time, energy or strength to go to any support groups during treatment or to seek out any psychological help - was just concentrating on getting dressed each day and making it to appointments… I am now trying to cope with everything that my head is trowing at me and sometimes I feel this is just as difficult, if not worse than the physical side of things. In short really appreciating the forums as I don’t feel that I am so alone in my way of thinking, reactions and self-doubts. Going on the Moving Forward Course soon and so hope that that will help me also.