After treatment for DCIS
After treatment for DCIS I had a very lucky escape last June when I was dx with DCIS covering my whole breast, only one very small are was invasive and lymph nodes were clear. I had a mastectomy and immediate DIEP reconstruction. I have recovered well and I know that DCIS is almost always cured with treatment. I want to put all this behind me and forget about it as much as possible but I find I cant. I will have a couple of good weeks and then a report in the newspaper about BC or a scare I had a month ago that an area of my breast had gone hard, it turned out that I could feel the edge of the flap after the swelling had gone down, will bring it all back and I will feel depressed again for a day or so. My husband says I should be over this by now. Sorry for all the moans I am just feeling a bit down, had a cyst removed from my ovary this week and I think the op has pulled me down again and my luck is still holding as they didn’t have to remove the ovary as they thought they might and they say everything looked very clear. Just a couple of minor ops left with plastic surgery and then I’m all done maybe I’ll be able to move on then.
hurrah-your normal! Many many of us on the site have an emotional rollercoaster of an experience just as you describe.For me whilst treatment was ongoing and l was in out hospital things were ok but then l was set free-and then l felt the full impact of what ld been thru.suddenly we are faced with all the emotions we buried whilst we were too busy to allow us to feel.There is no set time to be over it as your hubby suggests!It is easier for those who care for us to want it behind us and get on with life but unfortunatly emotions are not so easily dealt with.Take care of yourself-you will gradually feel better but the scares from personal experience still scare you to death but it does get better.thinking of you
love sharon x
Me too. I had DCIS throughout my left breast , dx in July 2006 and DIEP in September . I was really low at xmas, the adrenalin had run out and the crisis management that was necessary for the first months (and I’m really good at!)wasn’t appropriate anymore. I felt awful. I went to see a counsellor in desperation because I hated the way I was feeling, as if cancer was a squatter in my mind sucking up all hope and energy. Counselling wasn’t what I wanted (a list of strategies to make me feel better NOW!) but turned out to be exactly what I needed. It helped me realise that I’ve hardly scratched the surface of starting to come to terms with it. We looked at all the areas of my life that cancer had touched (or torched would be more apt) and what I had lost - and these are huge issues: mortality, body image, sexuality, insecurity about the future, helping my children cope with this all etc, etc. It was cathartic and released a massive amount of trapped emotions. Strangely it wasn’t depressing and I felt liberated after, as if I was finally taking this seriously and not pretending it was ok or even that I knew things would be ok- I don’t and this pretence was generating more deep seated fear. So much of the way in which cancer has affected me can be summed up as loss, a berevement for the person I was and the life I had before.It took me 2 years to find a way not to move on or accept my Dad’s death but to find a place for it . It’s very early days for us. Other people who we’ve scared half to death with all this malarkey are simply relieved that the big bad threat has been removed, literally cut out and want normality back. They don’t have the terrible insights we have into the aftermath of this disease.
Hope this helps- post again if there’s anything you want to offload. I’m still trying to figure it out too.
Barbara xxx
Thank you Thank you for replying to my posting. I’m feeling better today after a couple of days of being very down. Perhaps councelling would be an idea I know what issues I have, body image and mortality being top of the agenda and I also feel like cancer has taken over my mind and is sapping my energy and that is not like me because I have always been someone to not look back but look to the future and all the positive things I can do.
Thank you for your support I have been grateful for it.
Love
Beverley