Hi, I was diagnosed last week, aged 42. Haven’t had all results yet so don’t know the types of cancer but am told I have two types at two different stages in the one breast. I had a lymph biopsy yesterday, results next week and mastectomy booked for 20th sept.
I think I’m in shock, one day I feel like normal and other days I fear the worst, think i wont survive this and dread that I might not live to see my young children grow up. Devastated that they will watch me get sick as the treatment progresses as I’m told I’ll need to have the full works.
Would love to talk with people in similar situations for support x
Welcome to the BCC Forum. I’m sure other members will soon be along to offer some support. You might also find it helpful to have a look at the section of the forum specifically for younger women. I’ve attached a link:
I took ages to get my head around my diagnosis and kept wanting to go back to the hospital and say are you sure?
It’s very early days for you and you will bounce from one extreme to the other, just be kind to yourself and try and accept that you will be all over the place for a while. This forum is great and all the ladies are happy to answer any questions you have along the way and will sympathise when you want to rant and rage.
Hi super ness . I’m so sorry about your diagnosis. I am 51 my daughter is 13 . I have had a grade 3 cancer and will start chemo soon . Contrary to popular advice I did not sit my daughter down and give her the full story … Often I didn’t know the full story ! If I hadn’t have needed chemo I don’t think she would have known it was cancer - just a lump ! I drip feed the info and next steps when and only when I have got my own head sorted and cried etc in private so I am calm when I tell her . Very best of luck , everyone on here is standing with you . X
Superness so sorry that you’ve had to join this club that none of us wanted to. I’m 44 and have older children but it was still really difficult telling them.
You will find that for the first few weeks your head will be all over the place but will find that once treatment starts you feel more in control. You will also find that once you start chemo you can join the chemo monthly thread where you will get such fantastic support and friendship from the others going through the same.
I’ve had to have my chemo first and have had 6 so far with 2 more to go and have managed to get up, dressed and showered every day which has helped my children. As mothers we do everything we can to keep life as normal as we can for our children so they won’t worry. In fact it was rather nice when I was first diagnosed that my teenagers were nice to me for a couple of weeks and even made me cups of tea but it didn’t last long and I’m now treated as the taxi driver, maid and general skivvy once again which Akers life seem normal again.
You’re doing the right thing by talking as there is nothing worse than bottling up your fears and anxiety.
Keep in contact as we’re here to help support each other. X
Thank you ladies. It sure is difficult Mary. It’s come like a bolt out of the blue!
Debtex, I think I will follow your example and drip feed info as and when it’s necessary, particularly as my daughter is so young. I told her that I would go into hospital soon and have an operation on my breast and she burst out crying asking who was going to ‘huggle’ her at night.
Sodastream, it is really great to know that you have managed to get up and dressed throughout your treatment and your kids are treating you as teenagers usually treat their parents! Thats encouraging!
When I first got my diagnosis I just thought to myself that I will get through the treatment and get the all clear in five years time. I Felt sorry that my life expectancy might be cut short to 20 years post diagnosis! Then I realised that not everyone makes it that far and sadly some people lose the battle much sooner and it is not a given that i will beat the disease even in the short term. Now I realise what a fight I have on my hands and the enormity and seriousness of the diagnosis has hit home. I know I must be positive though to stand a good chance. Xxx
Hi superness. Sorry about your diagnosis I’m not as young as u I’m 52 but I’ve got a 6 year old grandson it’s very hard trying to explain whats going on at moment we r just saying to him that Nanny is poorly and atm he’s fine with it. But not sure what we r going to say to him when I’m having chemotherapy very soon. I’ve already had lumpectomy and having scan on 16th to c if its spread. Keep posting here the ladies r lovely I’ve found it a great support. U can have a rant without bothering family. Sorry if I haven’t helped. Suexxx
Thanks Sue and Songbird. Sorry about your diagnosis too. I had my mastectomy on Saturday and am recovering well from that. My kids visited yesterday and handled it very well. They enjoyed messing around with the electric bed! I am going to try to get some counselling very soon to try to deal with my worries about the future. I’ve been looking at condolences pages in this website which probably isn’t very healthy for me! I think my prognosis isn’t too bad as I’m er positive and pr positive with a quick score of 8/8 and also her 2 negative. I felt such a relief when I heard that but am still looking at survival rate figures and worrying about a shortened life expectancy when I should focus on the here and now x