All happened so fast!

I just can’t believe how quickly my life has changed. I found a lump and dimple on November 19th, went to my GP a few days later, went for a mammogram two weeks after that then went back for my results last Wednesday.

The result is that I’m to have a lumpectomy, axillary node clearance, radio, chemo and Tamoxifen. As if all that lot wasn’t enough I had a phone call from my Breast Care Nurse on Friday afternoon offering me Christmas Eve for my op! I’m lucky enough to have medical insurance through work and the local private hospital had a gap. It was either that or January 3rd so I’ve gone for Christmas Eve on the grounds that the sooner I start the sooner I’ll finish.

By that point we hadn’t even told the children as we were collecting our daughter from uni on Friday night, so we told them then. It was so hard but it’s better now it’s out in the open. We’re putting Christmas off for a few days until my parents come down to stay and help out, although I don’t expect I’ll feel very Christmassy!

I just feel as though I’m on another planet a the moment and for both me and my husband our emotions are in total free fall. He’s been so wonderful but I know he had a little cry on my Mum’s shoulder.

I’m sure I’ll be posting on here quite a bit more as time goes on, as I try to get my head round it all and catch up with myself.

I posted while I was waiting for my results and you were all so supportive. I’m sorry I’m now posting on here, but you’re all such a wonderfully supportive lot and I know you’ll help me beat this.

And now it’s back to the chocolates and alcohol. At least I can enjoy that part of Christmas!

xxx

Like you say the sooner the better i had to do my chemo first and to be honest everyday was living hell knowing i had cancer in my body cudnt wait for my opp had to wait six months you will be fine for your opp i had mx and was home day after didnt have any problems with my surgery

It does take a while for things to sink in. Not great timing for you with Xmas but I would have done the same and gone for xmas eve, you’ll feel so much better getting that out the way and feel like somethings been done. I didn’t find my op that bad at all and I’m sure you will also be fine - just rest when you need to, let others do things and your recovery will be quicker, you will be surprised. Best wishes.

Hi there Alto,
So sorry you had to join this forum but hope you can get some helpfull information and comfort from it.
Nobody wants to be here but i joined like you after a whirlwind of tests for something i was passing off as a nothing to be concered about.
That was in 2007, had chemo then mastectomy then radio and tamoxifen. I had written myself off after diagnosis, the word cancer scared the hell out of me and decided this was the end.
BUT am still here treatment finished apart from tamoxifen and back at work.
It is so scary at first but after the treatment started i felt quite calm and thought ok lets get on with this, and i did and you will too.
As to operation dates i had my mast on my birthday, won’t forget that in a hurry :slight_smile:

Alto youre storey along this road is like reading my own my world turned upside down in March i also had lumpectomy full axilliary clearence and chem and 20x rads just finished 1st Nov and now on tamoxifen for 5 years I havent been too bad and felt quite well all the way through treatment ( apart from Fec no 3) when i was really sick but since then and a few adjustments to anti-sickness meds I have felt fine and doing really well .Im going back to work the week after new year.Just try and concentrate on 1 step of treatment at a time ,thats how i got through and remember it is all doable and the time really does go over quickly ( although you dont believe it at the time ) My BC nurse said its 6 months treatment out of the rest of youre life . You can message me anytime if you need any help of advice xxxxx I was also home next day after op with my drain in but just carried it around in a little flowerey gift bag ha ha at least you get out of cooking xmas lunch and get pampered xxJulie

Hi Alto,

Am also having my op on Xmas Eve so am sending you lots of love & will be thinking of you,I also had thought about having Xmas a few days later but children are still young & am trying to keep things a little bit normal for them as this last few weeks have been a whirlwind of different emotions for us all.

Like so many, I am sure we will find great support, advice & friendship from these forums as i have just in the last cpl of weeks.

You enjoy those choccies & alcohol, i know i will in the run up to the start of the journey that’s just got to be done.

Take care

Sarah.xxx

Hi Alto

Sorry you’ve joined this club, and I can so agree with you on how fast this all takes over your life. I first saw my GP at the very end of Nov, screening clinic 1st Dec, diagnosis 8th Dec, consultant 16th Dec, MRI 22nd Dec, surgery (hopefully lumpectomy only) some time early in the new year, radio, tamoxifen and chemo is still a possibility. One lump, your life turns upside down!

Fuschia, you’re so right about “writing yourself off”. I’m trying to have a seriously stern word with myself about that at the moment, but it’s a tough time.

Alto, there are (sadly) others in the same boat with you, we’ll just have to help each others with the oars.

Jenny

Hi everyone
just joined a fews mins ago and even thinking of a used name was hard!Emotions all over the place at the moment.Had a routine mammogram then called back the next week.Immediately had scan,core biopsy and fine needle.As I was in the medical profession,asked the radiologist andsuddenly realised that this was it.Saw the surgeon yesterday and surgery tomorrow,then definitely chemo and radiotherapy.Tell me please,Ive just read a few of the forum messages and some of it seems like a foreign language.Never any good at those in school.What is a peachy !!!
Hope I am doing this correctly and get a reply.
Celia

Hello everyone,

Thanks for all your messages. I’ve got very good at coping over this last few days but it’s come to the front again now as I’m seeing my consultant and having my pre-op assessments this morning. My stomach is really churning now.

Sarah, I thought I’d seen that someone else was having their op on Christmas Eve but I couldn’t remember who, so good luck to you too.

I’ve had so many messages of support and it’s got easier since we’ve been able to tell people. My boss told me yesterday to take the rest of the week off work so I grabbed the chance, but I put off leaving because I just felt that once I walked out of that ordinary day I was really stepping into the unknown and life would never be quite the same again. It felt so peculiar.

Still, onwards and upwards - I’m starting on this path now and I have to follow it through!

xxx

Hi Alto

The speed of things really does knock you, but better that way I think…

I found lump and boob changed shape literally overnight, they said it was rare but not unheard of. Refered to Breast clinic on same day had mammogram, sonic thingy and biospy and had results in a matter of hours.

2 weeks later i learn i need max, chemo and poss radio.

I have opted for chemo first so that i can have max and recon at the same time.

Was due to start chemo yesterday but couldn’t as i had an allergic reaction, so put off to 5/1. I’m fine about this, i have to be as there is no safe way they can do it earlier. So i’m looking it as a little break and allowing xmas to come back.

Good luck with everything and keep talking, it really helps when people know what your talking about!

xx

Hi Celia,

Am quite new to all this too & am not sure what a peachy is but am sure someone will advise soon.

Celia & Alto, good luck with the surgery, I will be thinking of you both, it is all quite scary stuff but is so reassuring to know that we can come to here for help & advice, also strange to think in the run up to Xmas we are actually preparing for our Ops instead of preparing Xmas dinner but better out than in & the 1st stage to getting sorted soon to be completed.

Take care,

Much love.

Sarah.xxx

Girls you’re emotions do go up and down usually goes up terribly around apointment and results times and then you sort of calm down again in between i really fel for you all cos it brings back all those emotions to me so vividly even now i could cry reading you’re posts but believe me what you are feeling is totally normal we just wish we didnt have to go through it all.I am going back to work the week after New year and believe me i feel apprehensive about walking back in after 9 months off.It really does go over faster than you think and just make sure you treat and look after yourselves for a change ( you have to be NO.1 at the moment) and you will still have great times throughout treatment xx Have a look at starting my pink road of chemo thread ( page 2 ) there is some ladies starting or started chemo on there and ive put some tips that helped me get through ( page 2)
ps some on here refre to chemo as “peachy mother” that is what they are refering to. xxxxx take care Julie

Hi Julie,

Thank you for replying :slight_smile:

I have been reading your thread & have saved it to my discussions for when or if i need it as there are some great tips on there.

i think i am operating on Auto pilot at the moment, running around like a mad woman trying to prepare for Xmas, am usually so organised but this year i am struggling, I am lucky as my beautiful sister is driving down to get my 2 youngest children today & is keeping them with her till Xmas Eve night so that gives me a cpl of days to get organised & prepare for surgery on Friday (just a little bit scared).

Well its onwards & upwards & will soon be time to turn our backs on 2010 & look forward to a happy, healthy 2011 for us all :slight_smile:

Love Sarah.xx

hey hun

sorry you have had to join us, but this is the best support ever. so use it. we are all here for each other. xxx

your post like Julie said was like my own story, the speed is unreal and everything else fades into a blurr. i think its good ho fast it is, but it does catch up with u some days. you’ll have so many different emotions, and types of days. just go with them and each time you do an appointment, op, ect ect tick them off as getting closer to the end.

id have gone for Xmas eve hun, as mas will be strange anyway, irrelevant to when u have your opp.
hugs xxxx
kaz

good luck and hope all goes well for you’re ops xmas eve girls xxx take care Julie

Hi Alto and everyone else

Just read through this thread and just wanted to say that the big dark cloud that is above you at the moment DOES lift and the sun Does start shinning again.

Im just coming to the end of Herceptin after having a max, chemo, rads and 17 doses of Herceptin and on tamoxifen, My hair is back ive lost the weight I put on and am looking forward to recon early in the new year and I’m feeling great .My ONC said to me give her 6mths of my life and she’l give you the rest of mine.

Just take everything stage by stage and try not to worry (I know easier said than done)about the rest until you get to it.Its all too much to take in in one go.

Wishing you all on here a lovely Christmas and healthy new year

thinking of you all

Sally xx

Sally my BC nurse said something similar to me and i think it is a true and good way to put it she said" Its 6 months out of the rest of youre life" Glad youre doing well .I finished all treatment 1st Nov surgery,chemo,20 radsand now on tamoxifen and doing good ( thankfully didnt need Herceptin I was HER2 Neg.) xx Julie

Hi Everyone

I was dx at a one-stop-clinic, having all the tests, biopsy etc done in one day. It was mind-boggling! Surgery, chemo and rads followed. That was two and a half years ago but I remember it so well (like labour). Two and a half years ago when I got my dx I was in a really dark place. I wrote my will and organised my funeral. I really thought that I wouldn’t see another year! The best bit of advice I had was not to look too far into the future, and take each day as it comes.

Here I am, still here, and feeling good. So will you. It’s an awful time when you’re first dx and I know I felt as though someone had pressed the pause button on my life. But you do get through it. It takes a while to get your hair back (although I loved my wig) and to feel ‘normal’ again but you do. And life will be good again.

I feel for all of you who have just been dx and are embarking on your journey, but you will feel better - honestly.

Mal x

Eeek - just packed my bag ready for tomorrow. All a bit scary, but it’s the first important step.

Good luck for tomorrow as well to Sarah, and anyone else having their op tomorrow. Hope we get home on Christmas Day!

Jane xxx

Good luck Alto - I’m sure it will all go very easily, and at least the hospital staff are going to be extra cheerful for you!

Have a lovely Christmas when you get home - and make sure you are waited on hand and foot… might as well make the most of it!

Sophie xx