All my posts have come back to bite me

After all the posts I have made in the last couple of weeks I got a real shock this morning, talk about don’t do as I do, do as I say!!! Had my third annual mammogram two weeks ago and waiting apprehensively for the results. I’ll tell you a shortened version of what happened this morning. I got a phone call, it came up as “unavailable” so I did not know who was ringing. The lady at the other end said “Are you Mrs Green” so I replied no. She asked for my phone number so I asked her to tell me the number she had rung. She then said "I am going down the list, so sorry are you Mrs ****** " so I said yes. By this time I really thought it was the hospital ringing to say that they had found something on my mammo and I went to pieces. I was in tears. This poor woman at the other end of the phone must have thought she had rang a right loopy weirdo. It was Tesco’s saying that their van had broken down and my shopping would be delivered later in the day than had been arranged. She couldn’t get off the phone quick enough. Frightened the life out of hubby, when I rang him I was crying and couldn’t get my words out. This stress I think is sometimes worse than dealing with the actual disease if you can understand what I mean. Anyhow, got it off my chest now - reading this back to myself I can see what a blubbering idiot I am and feel really stupid panicking like that. Feel better now.

Love Jan

Oh Jan you’re not an idiot. The people from the hospital always seem to call ‘unavailable’ or ‘withheld’ and it’s an understandable mistake to make.

I’ve recently been going through a bad patch as I’ve got a very painful neck with pains going up into my head - thinking ‘oh no - it’s gone to my brain’ etc. But visits to GP and a physiotherapy session yesterday have reassured me it’s just muscle strain in my shoulder.

I call this ‘cancer paranoia’ and it seems to affect all of us.

Hope you’re feeling better now.
Take care
Love Anthi

Hi Jan, i agree totally with Anthi, i hate my phone going, and i hate it more when i’m out and i get home and the kids say “someone rang mum, but i forgot to ask who it was” you worry for ages, cos the number is withheld or unavailable, and its always something unrelated to bc!

Alison xxxxxxxx

Hi Anthi and Alison

Goodness, what a fraud I now feel. Have calmed down and really can’t believe what a total panic I was in. Things really must get better than this. All the advice I have given re live life to the full, don’t worry until it happens etc etc, I think I need a slap on the wrists!!!

Thank you for listening girls, I appreciate it.

Love Jan

Also, why do the hospital staff sound so serious when they ring you, I panicked last week when a lady from hosp rang, she only rang to make me an appointment for a scan but when she first announced who she was i thought she had some bad news for me, even though i wasn’t waiting for any results, def cancer paranoia

Tracey
xx

Hi girls

I sat and dwelled on this all day and finally rang Tesco’s last night. Explained the situation and said that the lady should have identified herself by saying something like “Good morning, this is Tesco’s could I speak to Mrs ****** please”. I was told that they will make an anonymous complaint at the store involved as this is company policy, they should always identify themselves right at the start of any tel con. So if any of you have anything similar speak up and complain.

Tracey, I sympathise with you, after what happened yesterday if it was the hospital ringing I think I would have passed out on the spot. I think I am confused as I seem to want it both ways!!! This waiting around is just the worst thing, I keep telling myself that the longer the time goes on the better it will be. It normally takes my Consultant to write 6 to 7 weeks after the mammogram with the all clear, but if anything shows up the hospital will ring as soon as.

Try to keep smiling everyone.

Love Jan

Hi Jan
I am exactly the same - as you may have guessed! What has thrown me now is the fact of waiting so long for the mammo results…I didnt expect them there and then but as I have convinced myself that there will be bad news, I am going to get myself really down waiting. Will try to think of other things but not easy!
Love Laine

Hi Laine

Its so easy isn’t it for all non-BC sufferers to say “don’t worry - you’ll be fine”. We can talk to them until we are blue in the face but unless you have actually gone through this noone can possibly understand that constant underlying fear. Yes, we can put it to the back of our minds most of the time, but come the annual mammo and the hospital checkups it rises to the surface again. How come they can treat the cancer but not the mental anguish and fear that comes with it. No amount of counselling or talking can take it away, thats why this site is SO GOOD, everyone knows without explanation how we feel.

Love and hugs to you all
Jan

Hi girls

had an MRI on tuesday and luckily and thank god my onc has the results today, but it was awful waiting for the scan and awful waiting for the results, i was pacing up and down in the waiting room today and ended up making the nurses a cuppa tea as i wanted to keep busy whilst waiting for my 2pm appointment, plus i got there half an hour early!!! everything is fine and no new lumps etc, i started treatment last August and got the all clear a few months ago but have found it hard since getting the all clear, keep thinking the bugger is going to come back, the scan results have put my mind at rest a little but you just never know.

thanks for being here

Tracey
xx

Well at least you can breathe easy for a while Tracey, am so pleased at your good news.
I have had the dreaded mammo letter for 3 weeks time - finding it hard to calm down today - dont know what sort of state I will be in by the time the day comes! As Jan sys tho, we have to cope with whatever comes, we have no choice.
Love Laine

Hi everyone. My bad experience was when I first went to the breast clinic after the re call from a routine mammogram. The receptionist barely looked up at me and told me to wait in a room. There was no one in there, and I waited about 45mins. I assumed they had forgotten about me. There was a big TV on the wall showing some daytime reality hospital programme. A woman was having a mastectomy, and the surgeon came out with a long face and said it had spread to her lungs! I have every sympathy with the lady concerned, and hope she made a full recovery, but it was not what I wanted to watch, and there was no way I could see of changing channels.
Having said that, when someone did come and fetch me, they couldn’t have been kinder, and I have had wonderful treatment since.
Heidicat

Thanks Laine its a relief and im sure everytime we are due our yearly check up its just going to be agonising, im sure like me youve got this knot in your stomach which you will carry round with you until you get your all clear, there you go im being positive for you but really good luck.

Tracey
x

oh poor Heidicat, being tortured like that, are you sure you didnt upset someone at the hospital, i know i usually do!

Hi girls

When I started this thread I felt a little paranoid and that I was being a bit melodramatic but now feel quite reassured that I am not “nutcase”. How long do you all have to wait for your mammogram results? I had my mammo almost 3 weeks ago and still haven’t heard anything, I suppose the longer it goes on the better its going to be - hope so anyway.

Hope you are all having a good weekend.

Love and Hugs

Hi there,

well i think were all nutcases in our own special way, you have to be to get through this!!
I was private so i got mine in three days, and that was long enough. three weeks sounds a long time, i would ring them on tuesday and hassle them for the results and then ring daily until they get fed up of you.

Good luck

Tracey
x