Alternative Medical Dictionary

Well, it made me laugh and we all need some of those - I particularly like Catscan!

Artery… The study of paintings.
Bacteria… Back door to cafeteria.
Barium… What doctors do when patients die.
Benign… …What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section…A neighbourhood in Rome .
Catscan… Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize… Made eye contact with her.
Colic… A sheep dog.
Coma… A punctuation mark.
Dilate… To live long.
Enema… Not a friend.
Fester… Quicker than someone else.
Fibula… A small lie.
Impotent… Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain… Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff… A Doctor’s cane.
Morbid… A higher offer.
Nitrates… Cheaper than day rates.
Node… I knew it.
Outpatient… A person who has fainted.
Pelvis… Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative… A letter carrier.
Recovery Room… Place to do upholstery.
Rectum… Nearly killed him.
Secretion… Hiding something.
Seizure… Roman emperor.
Tablet… A small table.
Terminal Illness…Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour… One plus one more.
Urine… Opposite of you’re out.
2xCondoms…To be sure, to be sure

Sue x

Haha thats funny.I really lol at pelvis = second cousin to elvis,god knows why but it did tickle me.Thanks for that :slight_smile:

Melxx

Thanks! I needed a laugh on a cold miserable day like this one.

Cheryl

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Groan indeed!

Cheryl

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Ha ha Sue - very good.
I also had a smile at Elvis the Pelvis :slight_smile: It reminded me of when I was at school (a long, long time ago!) and there was a boy in my secondary school year group called Innes. We always called him ‘Innes the *****’ - funnier when you pronounced his name ‘Ee-ness’ rather than the proper ‘In-nes’ LOL
Thanks for brightening my morning.
Nicky x

Hi Sue,

Found it really funny and clever, the only thing I can think of is Doctor - tour of the docks. Big groan, sorry.

Myfanwy x

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