am i just being petty

am i just being petty

am i just being petty i am currently waiting to have another mastectomy which is supposed to be early spring (whatever that means) i am not axious but would just like to know a date so i can organise my life around it.
I phoned the consultants secretary but she is on annual leave though was able to speak to someone else(male) i asked if i was on the list and he said that he’d be able to tell me so i gave my details i.e. due to have mastectomy date of birth etc, he then preceeded to say that i was’nt on the near future list and they had an obligation to see me within 6months but that the surgeon would " fit me in when he had a chance". He sounded so blase about it i could have hit him , I AM SO ANGRY by this kind of attitude dont these people have any kind of feelings or am i just being petty !!!
sorrry for going on but i needed to see it written down and yes i still feel as angry. i am going to phone my bc nurse to see if she can help. if you think i am being too picky i can take it because i am strong" i think".

Being petty? I thought you were restrained! What a complete w****r! How insensitive can you get? No you are not being petty - your concern is perfectly understandable and to take that kind of attitude towards any patient is completely unacceptable.

We have enough anguish without some jumped up little jobsworth talking to you like that. Just as well it wasn’t me - I think I’d have gone to the hospital and ripped his knackers off.

From this rant you may have gathered that I think you were being perfectly reasonable and he was being a complete f*****t!

(Never upset a MummyBear!)

Love and Support

GGGRRRRRRR :frowning: :frowning: Oh Megan!!
You are not being petty or picky at all!! That man would be out with his P45 shoved where the sun don’t sun if he was my secretary!!
He obviously has no idea how much stress and mind-numbing anguish having bc can cause.
You deserve the best treatment that can be offered and that kind of response is totally unacceptable.
I hope when you talk to your nurse you have better luck.
Lots of love to you, let us know how you’re getting on,
Love Flora xx

— not picky at all.

i had an experience when i had appt for chemo, assumed i would have bloods, hairdresser and start date, all at that appt, fat chance. saw onc, given anti sick pills and sent away.
I was there for gods sake.

blood unit shut, shortage of staff.
appt will come through post.
see hairdresser later.

an hour and a half round trip. want the info now, not another trip.

Fat chance,

not picky, let htem go through it i say, then they will know what it’s like.

poo heads.

sharon. x

Far from picky Hi Megan

No you are NOT picky. You want and need to know what is happening and even approximate time scales are essential. I’ve sounded like a real control freak over the months - this will happen then, that on another day etc. etc (ok it didn’t all go exactly to plan but , thankfully for me, near enough).

One of my many gripes about certain members of staff, in a variety of different areas (including some of the “cretins” I have the misfortune to work with), is that they just do not have a clue about what it means to be a patient/ill/deal with a major life crisis. The outcome is we can be treated so badly (my complaints to the PCT for example about just how awful the Herceptin appeal was, were in the response I recieved ,noted merely as comments. - This issue is now with the Healthcare Commission)…

I have said it (OK being flippant here - don’t wish this on any one) many times over the months, a life history dealing directely or indirectly with such life shattering events ought to be a requirement for employment in the roles these people occupy. Gone then would be the smug, I’m alright, nothing to do with me attitude we now get and we would get the empathy and support we as human beings surely hav a right to expect.

Hope your Breastcare nurse can sort this issue out rapidly for you.

It’s your life I have often thought that the medical world forgets that its “clients” (patients) have a life outside their condition. In the end the person concerned has to make a stand on this and point out that they do have other things to do in life, and that however important the medical treatment might be, those other things must be taken into consideration. So often the implication is that if you miss this appointment, there won’t be another chance for x months.

It is difficult to run large systems, but it shouldn’t be impossible to be more flexible in approach.

As to this case, the assistant concerned needs a complaint to be made in order to alert his department as to his extremely poor public relations manner and lack of consideration. Retraining seems in order.

Hope you find a good resolution.

— Hi Megan,
I don’t think you were picky in fact I think you were incredibly restrained far more than I would have been!
I couldn’t agree more with slp11 and her second paragraph, compassion often seems to be in extremely short supply in an organisation where thought and compassion should be high on the agenda. Would this man like his wife/sister/mother treated in that manner, its totally unacceptable.
Hope your breast care nurse has given some positive input!
I think a letter of complaint to the Chief Exec of the Trust should be made.

Hi Megan Like all the others, I don’t think you are being picky at all. The trouble with the NHS is that it is run for the benefit of the staff, not the patients. They just cancel clinics and appointments at a moment’s notice and we get yelled at if we do the same. We’re not supposed to lives outside treatment…

I would complain - do you have a Patient Liaison committee (PALS)? That might be a good place to start.

Why the mastectomy? OK you didn’t say WHY you are having the other mastectomy, is it because you have cancer in that breast, or is it because you have DCIS, or is it as a preventative measure. This does have relevance, because IF and of course I haven’t a clue why you are having it done, it is for preventative measure, and some other lady has to have a mastectomy because she has rampant cancer, then it is obvious that this lady has to be operated on before someone who doesn’t have it.

For example, if you were diagnosed with a high grade cancer and needed a mastectomy, you wouldn’t be amused if you had to wait while someone with non-urgent surgery had theirs ahead of you? Get my drift.

parvati i dont think you got my point I fully understand how the system works, by that i mean the waiting times for relevant and immediate operations on merit.
My point i was making with the post was the attitude of the person when asked re my date. and i quote “you will be fitted in when he has time”
Not the answer i was looking for, he made it sound as if i was having a toenail removed which it most certainly is not.
I did’nt feel i had to explain indepth the reasons surrounding my pending mastectomy. Though i will now, I hope this does not come across as an attitude with you personnally, but i really dont think you understood my point.
I was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer in 0ct '04, which turned my life upside down as they say. I then went on to have 5 fec chemo it should have been 6 but the great big tumour stopped responding , then had mastectomy with axillary claerance 6/17 affected, followed by oopherectomy as i was premenopausal, then arimidex which i have been told i’ll have to stay on for the rest of my life not the 5yrs that you hear about. I then had 20 rads. When i felt physically better i went back to my full time post in the “caring health sector” on a phased return, but just weeks before i went back my surgeon suggested that i have bilateral mastectomy, as i am at a high risk of the cancer returning.
Just yesterday i had to see my breastcarenurse after i found a small lump on my operated area and also having pain in my ribs. i am now having a bone scan and the small lump removed next week. I also mentioned the matter re attitude regarding my pending surgery and they were appauled and said that he shoul’nt have come across like that and they fully understand my upset.
But that is now the least of my problems as you can inagine.
I hope you can now understand my point ,anyone going through this terrible disease can expect to be dealt with compassion at any stage of the cancer.

thankyou for your suport all who replied thankyou all so very much for replying. i felt infuriated with this chaps attitude and felt i had to post my thoughts, i feel gratitude when someone replies and lets you feel you are not alone. i hope to one day offer advice and help but that feels so far away just now. thanks again. megan x