Hi September ladies,
Just trying to catch up after feeling unwell after chemo #5 and a bit fed up with everything. I think it was simply half-way blues… but I started to wonder if I could really do the rest of the doses. Now I know I will just get on with it, but… this stuff really messes with us doesn’t it? Not just our bodies and well-being, but with our emotions too.
The time of year and grey skies doesn’t exactly help either
Keyfeatures - if you can get to some sunshine, I say - go for it
I was interested in reading that a few of you have had help with Oral thrush… mine was dreadful for about 5 days after the last chemo. My whole mouth looked like ski slopes!
I photographed it to show my oncologist when I next visit, as they don’t seem to offer me anything… I am going to ask for help as my whole throat felt choked up and I felt disgusting. My saliva was frothy too, yet my mouth was dry. (Sorry - a bit too much info perhaps.)
Spookymoo - I hope your dizzy spells ease. I mentioned my wobbles to my oncologist, and asked if it could be low BP but he wasn’t concerned and said blood pressure shouldn’t be changed by chemo! No one ever takes my blood pressure when I get chemo, but he said this wasn’t unusual… and didn’t feel the need to get me checked even though I used to have high blood pressure. Hmmmm…
The following day after my last session I found the room spinning and swallowing me up, and I then found myself sat on the floor throwing up and holding on tightly as the room swirled, so I think I might mention this is not a side effect to be swept aside as they have done.
Anyway, enough of SE’s and moans from me… Wishing you all some magical moments with your family and friends over the holidays.
Keep warm, germ free and I hope you can taste more than the sprouts alone with your chemo taste buds!
Spooky-sorry to hear you need a scan and hope its all ok. Chemo has weirdy effects I think-I have visual hallucinations in the days after chemo (long hairs coming out of my feet no less) and falling over on occasion. Nevertheless I know its a worry.
Nicola-I’m planning a trip to Vietnam next year and the planning is helping to keep me sane. I say go for a holiday-you can’t say that you don’t deserve one and it wll give you a chance to chill before radio.
Hi Anne, inshock and storysofar-I know things have been tough in different ways and hope you are all feeling a better.
I’ve had a rough week though my blood transfusion on Monday really helped (I went in green and came out pink!). I’m still having trouble eating due to tax induced taste problems-so have been existing on rice crispies (its the crackle and pop which take the edge off the tax slime). Hopefully after chemo I’ll be able to put all my healthy eating intentions into practice.
Margaret-I know you haven’t posted here recently but thinking of you.
Hi everyone. Difficult to sparkle at the moment what with the murky weather and all the other doom and gloom.!Thank you all for your posts and mentions and I feel very contrite (and a bit of a fraud!) as not nearly having as bad a time as some of you are! I ams orry for being a whingeing gitbag. My lips are sealed on the whinge front now although I am hacked off about the scan as its a blooming inconvenience - its my son’s 11th Birthday and had promised to take him to see The Hobbit - scan is at 5.30 - so that is now off the cards. Diasppointed 11 year old!
Sukiem - what weirdy effects you have had - I can’t possibly top that! Glad you are now pink and well after your blood transfusion. You have been through the wringer this time round - hope you are fighting fit now! Tax taste is horrid - everything tastes disgusting at the moment - although I have managed to eat cholocate muffins today and they tasted vaguely not like cardboard so I am hoping my taste is coming back!
June, I am sorry you are unwell - rotten poxy chemo! I am feeling a bit blue and grey and miserable to so we can be in that club together - I am sure we can swell our numbers with ease at the moment. I know how you feel - I thought I would never get to the end of poxy chemo. Now I am at the end, its like “Well now what - what do I do with my time now - every three weeks I have a hole in my diary!” I am sure we will be able to fill it with good things when we are better. I am sorry your onc didn’t sort out your thrush -sometimes I think they really don’t listen - its all nod head, yes that’s fine, no problem - we are the ones that have to deal with all the SE’s - NOT YOU!!! Interesting what your onc said about the BP. Definitely get the spinning stuff checked out June - the whole room spins on a frequent basis for me and it is not pleasant! I have to crawl on my hands and knees sometimes as it gets so bad! Wouldn’t mind if I was on a whirly ride at the fair but I am in my front room!
In Shock - thanx for your kind words. I am sure all will be fine. All my scans re-chemo were clear and I have “the good type” of cancer (i.e not massively aggressive, TNBC etc) so it can’t have spread that quickly without popping up elsewhere! Even I couldn’t be that blooming unlucky! So sorry to hear you have had to spend more time in hospital - 10 hours must be a record. Girl, we need to get the A-team on you and come bust you out! Glad you didn’t lose your hand - they are kinda handy - hands! I am loving the burgerking and brownies and pear tart - can I have some next time please?
Nicola - definitely get some sun - you deserve it. And Sukiem - Vietnam sounds a-ma-zing - definitely something to plan and aim for!
Anne its ok to be teary. I have been variously teary, weepy, cantankerous, crabby, hysterical, Mrs Angry Pants, Mrs Doom and Gloom, Mrs Hysterical with laughter and generally in a pants mood - and that was just this morning. The chemo is taking its toll on all of us my lovelys. Time to fightback and kick it in the “you-know-where” so a big boot from me on all of your behalfs. We will beat it girls and come out bigger better stronger and probably a bit bionic!
Hugs to all and keep smiling, keep fighting and keep sparklingxx Emx
Crikey Em-as usual you have me laughing at the absurdity of all this cancer business. And you are right I punch the air when I manage to eat something that doesn’t taste like sweet slime/cardboard/jockstraps etc etc. I can’t believe I considered myself a foodie before as I tuck into my sons coco pops with gusto!
Your mention of the Hobbit did remind me of my hairy feet hallucination. I don’t know about anyone else but I’ve found the mental effects of chemo v strange-at one point 2 days after my 3rd FEC (googling aimlessly) I found myself convinced by David Ickes theories (until my mum told me that it was probably an effect of the chemo).
Theres not that long to go for most on us on this (particularly difficult) leg of the journey-we’ll get there x
`Thanks Spooky and Sukie for great posts, I shall try to write a bit more. dont know how I am feeling,The fatigue has hit over the last 2 days, dont know whether it was taking an anti sickness tablet, which i hadnt needed up until now. feeling jittery, and so lacking with energy. but i do feel grateful as you have been having all sorts of stuff, the dizziness etc. and all the stuff with food/tastes etc which thankfully as i am not on tax i havent suffered. did ask the chemo ward, and just told it will build up and sorry! I dont think any of you are on 6 fec?? so can compare the tiredness.
have been laying on the sofa, not knowing what to do with myself. not tired enough to sleep, but cant concentrate on book or tv. its just so weird, yawning like ive been out all night.
as for distractions i have got sucked onto bejewelled, that was close, nearly wrote bejazzled, and that wouldnt be much of a game, esp with our lady gardens looking complete wasteland!!!. anyway, was writing about bejewelled games on the laptop.basically finding groups of 3 colours and disappearing them.
also got a kids knitting set from ebay, didnt have a clue but managed to cast on, just lines of plain knitting. wont amount to anything but am enjoying it. got 4 balls of wool, luckily we have a woolshop so i can keep it going if i do finish these little ones.
i suppose i should try and eat something,
Hope you are having a goodish day, this is difficult for all of us, roll on getting on the other side of that hill.
big hugs xxx
Hi Anne-oh how I know that feeling of not knowing what to do with myself. Fortunately I have BT Vision so have been watching nostalgic stuff like Fawlty Towers whilst eating crumpets (which have replaced rice crispies).
Was hoping to go back to work today but not quite up to it yet!
I’m FEC5 + 9 days and am glued to the sofa - the onc warned me that I’d get fatigued having chemo and I never quite believed him - this is the first time it’s struck me down. On the other hand, Ive not had the slightest nausea with FEC5, and apart from some insane vertigo (that might not have anything to do with chemo) I’ve been let off very lightly with SEs.
I should be SE-free at Xmas - which is a waste, as I can’t travel to be with anyone so it’ll be just another day in my house. Maybe I’ll treat myself to some forbidden cheese and a glass or two of something fizzy…
Well everyone I have been mooching about today feeling sorry for myself. The tax truck ran me over again, reveresed over me, blindsided me and then chewed me up and spat me out. Mean old poxy tax truck.
Anne I know where you’re coming from on the fatigue side of things! Sooooooo tired I did not think it was humanly possible to be so tired and still alive!!! I am just about functioning although I do actually look like I have had chemo. School pick up I hobbled out of the car to say hello to a friend who looked at me with equal measure of horror and concern, saying “Oh my god, you’ve had chemo right? You look terrible”! Ker-ching - got it in one - you win the banana! so no more comments “of you look well” so must look really rather grim. And so tired but too tired to sleep -how does that work? I lie down and close my eyes but sleep evades me - the room spins a bit, and then the evil Tax pinching pixies come and start kicking me with their horned feet and making my body ache and giving me really nasty pins and needles - but like shooting pains - and then I get really hot, and then really cold, and then I think “What’s the point? Who needs sleep?” I always loved my sleep pre-chemo - love a nap me - now its almost too much to attempt it! Bejazzled (Vajazzled) sounds good fun. I have become slightly addicted to my son’s Lego Harry Potter game which I am playing far too much of in the wee small hours! Really need to get a life.
Sukiem - Man I love Fawlty Towers classic stuff. Have been watching a lot of One Foot in the Grave at the moment - dark humour good at the moment. Anything that gives me a laugh is good. Even, although its really annoying, taking my dog for a ride on the mop gives me a giggle and keeps me (and her) occupied for hours - really I am one sad lady at the moment. You did make me laugh with your post about David Ickes Theories - is he the man that always wears turquoise? Someone has very kindly given me cinema tickets today for The Hobbit - took pity on this mad, bald, shuffling old lady who looks about 95 but is only 43- so we hope to go - but I won’t be able to look at Hobbity feet without thinking of you! Made me fall about laughing.
Well girls I am rambling. Not a good sign, not good at all. So will sign off now. I am off to eat chips and I don’t care about getting fat - I am putting that one down to Side Effects too! Take care all you lovely ladies - we are nearly done and we can beat this sucker so punch it on the nose! Hugs to all x Em x
Great post, Em thanks. glad for your ramblings any time.
got through another dossy afternoon.oh yeah it should have been zajazzled!! haha
pegglass glad you are the same, but not in a nice way, my bcn surprised me this afternoon rang to check on me cos i had a few tears after onc appt last week. Also had phone call about counselling but I think I am coping better with all you lot. Not that i might need it later on but am not melting down, think the tears and low days are just something we all go through. checked with them that i can ask for it at a later date. For now, I feel pretty settled. not great but not a weeping mess.
i have freeview but just played daft games again to waste the time.
like doc martin and stuff like one foot in the grave too. also wasted half hour looking at qvc nail varnishes!!!
bye for today xx
Spookymoo - gosh, you really are going through it, yet your posts always make me smile as you are so full of fight and humour. I can visualise you punching the SE’s and Cancer on the nose Thanks for the cheer up for the rest of us.
I’m now 15 days after Tax/Carbo mix and still feel rotten. Still have bad taste for almost everything… just managing to drink a mushroom cup-a-soup! Been feeling cold and tired all day with slight ear ache, so been in bed a lot, and am about to go for an early night. Temperature is fine, so I don’t think this is more than accumulated SE’s getting me down.
Two friends called to see if I would like company for an hour today and I just couldn’t face trying to be bright and conversational so they were gently turned away. I’m not sure they really understand what chemo is really like (keep asking if I’ve finished treatment now, every week), but I felt too unwell to go through the motions of entertaining anyone. Then I felt bad all afternoon for not seeing them! The thing is, these are not people I would choose to spend an hour with even when I feel well, so it would have been hard work. Do I sound like I am trying too hard to justify myself??
Ah well, line care tomorrow and I will ask the nurse for some advice about my SE’s as next week is supposed to be my good week, and if it isn’t, my next dose will probably be delayed again, which would mean I might be able to enjoy Christmas and some food!
Em-David Icke is indeed the guy in turquoise. I got quite interested in his conspiracy theories although I knew something wasn’t quite right when he talked about the Royal Family being shape shifting reptiles! At that point my mum confiscated my ipad.
Hope you enjoy the Hobbitt-I love taking my son to the cinema as its one of the only things I feel up to doing these days xx
June, I’m v fussy about who I spend time with at the moment and all my friends know to text not call me as I quite often simply can’t manage conversations-particularly the first week post treatment. Don’t feel bad, I really don’t think its possible to understand how intense chemo can be unless you’ve been through it and you have to put yourself first. Hope you feel better soon x
David Icke’s theories always make me laugh. Red dresses and Illuminati. Just goes to show that no matter what nonsense you make up, someone will believe it. He’s clearly got money from somewhere.
Hi Sapphires,just been catching up on all the posts, haven’t really been on the computer for a while. It sounds as if we are all sick and tired of this ‘poxy’ chemo and all that goes with it. In many ways I’m grateful that it is winter and you can hide away when you feel like it but the dreary days get you down. Here’s hoping we all manage to get some enjoyment out of Christmas. I’m FEC 5 + 3 days, Mouth is starting to feel sore and throat weird, can’t swallow properly, usual for day 3. Thank God for senokot tablets. I’m going to put my feet up now and have a cuppa and watch some telly. If you are able enjoy your weekend, if you are feeling bad be kind to yourself and take it easy.
Sweet dreams ladies.
Nicola x
Nicola, you couldnt have put it better, poxy chemo and all that goes with it, am just in a pit with it, better when distracted with a book or the telly, and i think thats just the way it has to be. Been out for a walk but had to ring 2 friends just to boost me up that I can finish this cr*p and I will get to the other side. Dont you just wanna turn your brain off? I cant even put it into words, its just that low feeling that everyone is getting on normal, Christmas feelings, but then there are others who have lost loved ones, who are sad or depressed and find this time of year difficult all the time. I just wonder whether all the cocktail of stuff going through our system is what knocks us down and the fact that our hormones are all over the place.
sorry its not a more cheerful post, and I agree niknak just be kind to yourself and i dont think i am being very good at that today. I am using the thread as a bit of therapy to just get the thoughts away and written down,
big hugs to everyone xx
I cant see the last page so havent responded to any other posts that go before but i will read them now xx
Hi there
Had blood test today and hoping it is all ok as have to start taking all the pills on Tuesday ready for docetaxol on Wednesday. Understand that I will be up half the night as they keep you awake!
Just want to get on with it now as the quicker it happens the quicker I will get better. Don’t like the idea of it all though.
Maybe I will not get too many SE’s I am living in hope. Im really trying to be positive but not very good at it as I am still panicing!
At least I have one good thing, my ankle is not aching quite so much from the thrombosis, the fragmin seems to be slowly starting to work, only five more months of it to go.
Going off to find something to eat as rest of the family have all been or going to parties at work and school.
Hi September Ladies Hope all good with you all. - as well as it can be on stupid chemo!
Story so far - are you on the steriods pre-chemo (Docataxol)? Are on you Dexamethasone? I was presecribed this for Tax - taking the day before and then day of infusion and day afterwards. Tip - I never took it at 2pm - bought it forward so took first one @ 6.3.0 /7./00 am and then 2nd one by 12.00 latest - found this was better as it does make you a bit wired and I found it kept me up at night!. Wishing you luck on the Tax. I felt better sickness wise on Tax - had different SW’s altogether on Tax.
Hope all ok with everyone. I am a much happier bunny (which is good because I have been feeling a bit psychotic lately - far too much doom and gloom!). I got good results from genetics today - hurrah! And my lovely surgeon is happy with progress so far so next appt in Jan is to plan what we do - so sorted on that front. And my last antibiotic (Ciproflaxin) ended up in the dog bowl (long story!) so didn’t take it! I am living on the edge today girls - and I am loving it! Have been eating for England - pretty much I have eaten all the mice pies - and life is good! Just a brain scan to get out of the way and then Christmas is officially back on!!!
Hoping all you ladies can enjoy Christmas post chemo. Hoping all Side effects are minimal for you lovely ladies and that chemo will all be a distant memory soon for us. Good luck Story so far for Tax - I am sure you will be fine . Anne - thinking of you as always. I have been very down too recently - just think everything got on top of me recently - it kinda takes your breath away dealing with all the crap that comes with cancer and chemo and all the other poo that goes with it. I am trying to be really positive and look on the bright side of things. The world is a horrid place (recent events in America - awful, awful!) and what is happening to me is oftehn insignificant in the scheme of things - but it is relevant to me and my family now - and it still sucks! But you know, I am still here, fighting, grumbling, moaning and laughing and I dion’t intend to go down without a fight so being brave is not an option - I am just getting on with it. You can do it Ann, you can make it. I know it sucks but soon we will be done!
Thinking of you all out there you brave strong ladies. We are superstars!
Spookymoo… did you really eat all the mice pies LOL !
Your posts are always a treasure to read, so full of kicking the Cancer where it hurts, you do make me smile.
I have blood tests tomorrow to see if chemo can happen on Thursday, and as it will be the second of my Tax/Carbo doses - I know I will probably be out of action until after Christmas… if the last dose was anything to go by!
So, I wish all you September Sapphires a lovely holiday with family, friends, or perhaps a good book!
Take care, be kind to yourselves, and eat whatever you fancy
Hi Spookymoo and Amd66 yes it is Dexamethasone 4 twice a day, will have to phone up chemo ward as having blood thinners and might have a reaction.
Thanks for good luck I need it.
Dexamethosone, funny i get 3 days of it, to take 4 all at once(thats what chemo nurses told me), i have to say i have chucked the odd one away, and thought stuff it, 3 instead of 4 is enough.
Thanks spooky you have been so lovely. i think i had got so worked up on sunday, i just couldnt calm it down. Gp has given me mild anxiety tabs, up to 3 per day, not addictive. I told him I was coping with the sad stuff. and letting the feelings come and go, I think thats what the forum is so good for, because we all know this is normal. and we are all feeling the same.
I borrowed the neighbours dog yesterday for my 20 min walk, today I yawned all the way round asda but at least I got a few Christmas food things/havent really thought about dinners for next week, who cares.
keeping chugging along sapphires, should go into school tomorrow for their christmas dinner, you remember, hard roast pots, bit of veg, sausage and bit of dry stuffing. Im nearly past the dodgy infection week but will still stay away from the kids.
if you are having a crappy day, lets hope tomorrow will be better.
Anne xx
. Anne - thinking of you as always. I have been very down too recently - just think everything got on top of me recently - it kinda takes your breath away dealing with all the crap that comes with cancer and chemo and all the other poo that goes with it. I am trying to be really positive and look on the bright side of things. The world is a horrid place (recent events in America - awful, awful!) and what is happening to me is oftehn insignificant in the scheme of things - but it is relevant to me and my family now - and it still sucks! But you know, I am still here, fighting, grumbling, moaning and laughing and I dion’t intend to go down without a fight so being brave is not an option - I am just getting on with it. You can do it Ann, you can make it. I know it sucks but soon we will be done!