Hi Jenny – hooray for three years, and let there be many more!!! And hooray for all of us, getting on with life and giving each other all this great support. For me, it’s more than 11 years since my primary dx, and coming up to five years since my mets (bone & liver) dx – will be pleased to celebrate “I’m-Not-Dead-Day” again on the 22nd of October.
Raising a glass to you Jenny –
Marilyn x
Hi Jenny
Congrats as everyone else has said. It’s just over 13 years since my primary diagnosis and will be 4 years in two months time since my bone and liver diagnosis.
As Marilyn says ‘will be pleased to celebrate I’m Not Dead Day’!!! Do you think stationers produce cards for it!!!
x
Could we maybe pick a day (365 to choose from) when we celebrate our INDD on this forum together, and post our updates on how we are doing? - it wouldn’t be the exact anniversary of anyone’s dx but it would be a helpful marker. Just an idea. But which day - any suggestions?
I’m Not Dead Day sounds great to me! I feel like going outdoors and shouting it VERY loud. Perhaps some time in October? (Hee hee). We could have cards with sparkly black ribbons on them… (I can do cards.)
Mrs Blue, Your idea of an update is a good idea. Another group I know of post a little update once a month if possible, just to let others know they are OK. I find it worrying when someone suddenly disappears without trace - and inevitably think the worst.
What does anyone else think?
Jenny
x
Yes - I second the idea of a day in October, but NOT 31st please 
Could also call it Cinderella Day?
Lindsey.
Hi Jenny
Thank you so much for your posting. I’m so glad I read it. I’m coming up to my 1st anniversary of my diagnosis next Thurs and have been having such a ‘down’ day today -I’ve got no energy to play with my little boys, can’t even smile, don’t want to talk to anyone -wish my husband would go out so I can listen to sad music and drink lots of wine and have a cry!!!..
…then I read your post and I’m smiling again. I think everyone gets very anxious at their 1st anniversary but I’ve been having a pain in my ribs for about 3 weeks now and I’m so worried it’s bone mets already. I’m just 4 years married, have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and have been enjoying feeling so well again and having energy to live my life and play with the boys and can’t bear the idea that all that might be taken away from me again. But, it seems that having secondaries is liveable and doable.
Thank you
Hx
Hi Hannah,
We all have down bits and up bits. My daughter was not yet four when I was diagnosed and had not begun school. She will be starting in year three this September and is currently away from home for her first weekend ever without me (and not missing me one bit, so my sis says…) We enjoy such wonderful times together which I know I value even more because of the s***y position I am in.
This rubbish is doable - try and do it with all your being. I know it is an old cliche really but it does ring true. Enjoy this lovely summer with your beautiful family and I am glad to know you are smiling again!
Jennyx
Hi all
I was offered a job yesterday! Fingers crossed with it and that I get through the medical etc and don’t have any problems. Anyone else have any experience of dealing with new HR departments when you have secondary cancer?
Laura
lara
wow - thats great -I joined my employer 18 months before my secondary diagnosis - so I dont have the experience you ask about, but I have been dealing with my HR department. Do they know you have secondary cancer ? Have a good read about the DDA, they are required to make reasonable adjustments for you.
I hope you get on OK with them and there are no problems, let us know how you get on. Probably someone will come on with the experience you ask about…and if you have any questions someone will be able to answer.
cathy
Thanks Cathy
Just had a look on the Equalities Commision website about the DDA, which is quite encouraging.
I did mention on the Equal Opps form that I had recently undergone chemo for breastcancer and am feeling recovered after the chemo. I told my consultant that I was applying for jobs and he had no problem with it. There seemed no need to mention the secondaries so I didn’t. All new staff have to have a medical before they join so I assume I will have to say so then. I’m a bit worried that the Dr will assume the worst.
Laura