Hi everybody
I think we all feel a huge amount of sympathy for anyone with bc, and would welcome anybody to this forum, celebrity or not.
It’s the reporting that can be very annoying. There was a another thread about Martina, and the gripe was the way papers are portraying it. Its particularly upsetting when they make such a drama (shocking, tragic, etc) about a relatively small amount of bc with a good prognosis - how does that make those in a worse position feel?
Also, if you are struggling financially it is impossible not to draw comparisons.
But the main thing is that an opportunity to present some useful information and have informed debate, so that the public can understand more about the disease, is lost yet again.
Sarah
Agree again with Welsh Girl - I had mental health issues over many years and when it was very severe I used to just want to go to sleep and never wake up. It is very hard - many of my friends know about my bc diagnosis, but few know of my struggles with OCD and the treatments I’ve gone through. I would find it very hard to explain and would be afraid of people looking at me in a different way…isn’t that very sad.
I do agree that the Martina N reporting was a bit hysterical and over the top,and compared with what lots of people have to go through,her treatment for DCIS is comparatively easy- but people diagnosed with DCIS still have a cancer dx and their experiences shouldn’t be brushed off as nothing much.
I can empathise with Chipper and Welsh girl. I worked in the mental health field (and now have BC)
and I know that the level of support and sympathy for anyone with BC and the financial, emotional and practical support available for us- is of a completely different order of magnitude from that extended to people with mental illness.- particularly long term illness.
I haven’t suffered this myself but having been professionally involved with many who have- and their families - I do think mental illness is harder to cope with - and can be equally life- threatening.
Yes l can fully understand what you are saying welshgirl, and sorry you had no one for you when you were hospitalised with a breakdown.
I suppose it is just how things work out for each of us, we all have our own roads to go down.
A few years ago my sil had depression, and was hospitalised for 6 months,but she was lucky enough to have all the family around and they all gave her so much support, and now she is through the other side.
I am having the same support from family and friends, but l fear l will never get through the other side as sil did, as l have so many nodes involved.
So perhaps that is the way l read the Patricia Goddard story, to me there was an end to the depression.
I wish you well, and hope you get some peace with the depression,
Sandra xxx
Bravo Bernie Nolan! Just watched her talking to Lorraine Kelly on GMTV and I thought she was great! She is definitely out there in support of all women fighting or potentially facing this ordeal.
She was so lively and positive and with lots of fighting spirit and fighting talk as we all can be on good days. I hope she has lots of good days and not too many down days. She made me laugh with the mention of buying new garden furniture as she will be spending the summer at home having treatment - definitely lookng on the bright side!
E xxx
Much as I admire Bernie Nolan’s positive attitude, which will serve her well during the coming year, I couldn’t help feeling the ‘I love chemo’ and ‘i’m looking forward to a great summer’ comments just a little too over the top.
Having been through chemo twice myself, the first time was fairly easy and I worked throughout but the second time, it floored me completely, as different chemos are harsher than others, so when celebrities such as Trisha, Martina Navratalova and Bernie Nolan make light of the treatment, i feel it puts a lot of pressure on ordinary women who don’t have the luxury of spending all summer in the garden.
Also, as someone with secondaries, I think its important to remember the war is not won against breast cancer. When I was diagnosed I had no node involvement, so I was probably in a better position than Bernie Nolan, but I am still dying from this disease.
Linda
I never really post my opinion but i did feel slightly irritated at bernie nolan this morning saying "summer is the best ime to go through it " i feel celebrities tend to treat this disease rather lightly or thats the impression they give , dont get me wrong i loved bernies fighting spirit andmy heart goes out to her but its not like that for a large majority of ladies
galen
I think we have to give her a break. She is trying to encourage women to take their health seriously and go for the screening and checks - and she certainly did come across as doing that. We all know the early days after dx are a minefield and we all had to find ways to cope. This is hers.
On the summer comment - she is absolutely right and those of us who had to struggle to get the car out of the drive during the snow this past winter, whose treatments were disrupted or delayed because of the snow, would certainly have found it easier in the summer.
I don’t mean to offend anyone here, especially those who have gone through gruelling treatments and facing uncertain future. I lost a friend aged 46 to cancer at the end of March so I’m not making light of it and I’m sure that isn’t Bernie Nolan’s intention either.
E xx
Hi
I felt inadequate with her positive attitude. Referring to her breasts she said something like ‘take one off or take them both I dont care.’ I care alot about that and feel perhapps I should pull myself together. Got my first mastectomy tops and bras through the post today in preparation for friday. I felt so excited and yet so sad at the same time.
I would love to have such a care free attitude. I have nothing but admiration for her.
TillyB
Well said BoneyL.
All I keep reading is how the other Nolan sisters have successfully beaten this disease. As we know BC is the disease that just keeps on giving and there is no such thing as an all clear. Ever.
To clarify yet again - I did NOT dimiss a dx of DCIS - I simply object to a famous woman with an excellent prognosis who is having minimal treatment for a non-invasive pre-cancer being held up as spokeswoman for all of us with this disease. I hope that is now completely clear.
What staggers me is how these celebs never seem to bother to educate themselves on ANY aspect of this disease before they start to give interviews. Nor do they seem to bother to engage with this disease on a broader level - e.g. the difficulties people face at work, in relationships etc.
Navratilova said that “going public” was the hardest thing she’s ever had to face. The hardest? I’m sure the thousands of women with mets who are dying of this disease appreciated that comment.
The media is a useful tool for awareness raising. But if the information that is being put out is inaccurate rubbish and if there is a phoney pressure on women to always be brave and upbeat and positive then it does much more harm than good.
I am revolted by breast cancer being used as some kind of public spectacle and tabloid-fodder.
I thought Bernie Nolan was super on telly this morning,her positive attitude shone through,some of you didnt like some of her remarks but remember shes still in shock.
Shes gone public to help other women not be so afraid and already she said one women who e-mailed her was going to go the doctors,after being too frightened previously.
I actually think that what ever she does will annoy some people,shes got node involvement and is now waiting to see if it has spread.
I wish her all the best and think she is very brave i couldnt have spoke like that one week after dx,so give her some flack shes only human.
all the best to everyone we certaintly need it
Jackie xxxxxxxxxxx
Celebrities speaking about breast cancer is always going to be difficult. On the one hand they may wish to encourage women to get themselves checked etc but on the other they may need to play down feeling rough or they may not get offered more work. I read one actor saying she knew of many others who’d had breast cancer and been afraid to admit to it for fear of not getting film roles.
When Kylie Minogue was diagnosed my mum heard one girl asking how that could have happened to Kylie. I think people knowing celebs like Kylie or Martina can get breast cancer flies in the face of the image of cancer sufferers being unhealthy, fat older people.
I would like to see more celebrities speak about health problems. However it is unhelpful to talk about sailing through treatment as though all anyone needs to do is put mind over matter. They also are unlikely to have had to wait for their appointment, biopsy results or treatment in the way that many of us using the NHS have.
Elinda x
I also think that any celeb… wouldn’t be able to come on to a forum such as this for support because of the media “spying” for want of a better word. They must miss the interaction with us mere “normal” folk as they wouldn’t be able to speak about their fears without it being splashed across the headlines. Bless em all, we have each other.
apologies MsMolly if I misunderstood your comments about DCIS- I think I try too hard to see each point of view. I agree too that celebrities who are going to go public really ought to have the facts completely sound. And to be fair to MN - perhaps it has been the hardest thing SHE has had to face - she was talking about in HER life.
Looking forward to Bernies next interview, when she has no hair, no eyelashes, feels sick, bone pain, headaches, tiredness, surgery scars etc etc you get my drift. I do hope she puts on such a positive performance then. I think sometimes it is good to be humble, fear is not to be underestimated. My priority on diagnosis was my children, and a sensitive approach to telling people. Oh yes forgot and lots of crying and feeling angry.
Its ok not to be brave
Lilythepink - wouldn’t it be refreshing if we heard “it’s ok not to be brave” much more often instead of the predictable guff about positivity, battling, fighting, courage blah blah blah.
You know the one thing that would have helped me when I was first diagnosed? Someone saying “You are allowed to be ill.”
People who really haven’t a clue about this disease and its treatment are now exposed to so much poor coverage in the media that they think they are all experts.
I found myself having to defend my reasons not to have reconstruction the other day to some woman at the hospital who’d read an article in a magazine and “couldn’t understand why anyone would want to live without breasts.”
I always remember an anecdote someone shared here a couple of years ago about a family member who’d said “Oh breast cancer’s nothing these days. All these women get better and do jogging races.”
Lilythepink, I so agree, everyone tells me I need to be strong and positive & “fight the battle” and they all expect we carry on as normal, drop the kids off into school, go for chemo, do the school run again, keep the house and cook dinner all in a day’s work! Maybe I am expecting too much of myself but wish someone would just say, like you put it, slow down, you have been dx with BC, had major surgery, started chemo all in the space of two months and you are allowed to feel sad, angry, and not at all like the old normal self!
I hope everyone finds their own way of dealing with their diagnosis but there should not be a right or wrong way to deal with it and no one should be made to feel inadequate! xxxTina
according to my mum’s friend when told of my dx 'oh everyone has that !"
I watched Bernie Nolan this morning and thought she came over very well - not at all “celebrity sufferer”. She voiced some of the things I myself said or thought at the same stage after diagnosis. watching her carefully i think there were times when her eyes did begin to fill up , especially when she was discussing her daughter. i also found myself close to tears often when talking to people. I loved her attitude to preparing for the coming months of treatment by buying garden furniture, in my case it was joining a dvd hire club and buying a new duvet as my treatment was during winter. She, of all people must be aware of what is to come having lived through the experiences of her 2 sisters. Well done Bernie and good luck. (I would like to think that she does have a sneaky read through this site!) Marli
I was recovering from a very bad time on Taxotere in summer 2007 and I also went out and bought garden furniture, thinking I would sit out the summer in the sunshine. Unfortunately the weather was atrocious!
I remember when Linda Nolan was diagnosed as she lost her husband when she was undergoing treatment, which was very cruel.
Whilst I was annoyed at Trisha and her tales of “running to radiotherapy”, I can in some respects understand when she says she believes cancer is not the worst thing that can happen to you. I personally found watching my dad going down the route of severe dementia in a nursing home, not being aware of who any of us were far more difficult than dealing with my own cancer. He died 12 months before my diagnosis and it was a tremendous relief as the stress of watching him struggle was unbearable at times, especially in his last few days. Being with my dad at the end also taught me not to be afraid of death.