Another New Member - Help please!

Hi everybody. I recieved my diagnosis of Grade 3 Invasive yesterday. I was very anxious during the wait after my biopsy; couldn’t sleep, daytime anxiety attacks (not like me at all) and my imagination about what might happen in the future ran riot. It is even worse now! Does anyone have any tips on controlling anxiety and how to sleep, please? I am so worried but feel I must not say too much at home so that my poor husband (already coping with busy, stressfull job and so) does not have to hear my negativity.

Hello Rachel-02033008

Welcome to the forums. I’m sorry to hear of your diagnosis, the first few weeks are always difficult when coming to terms with your diagnosis and treatment.
As well as the support you will receive on the forums you might find it helpful to order the BCC resources pack. It has been specifically designed for those newly diagnosed and contains information to help you understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. If you would like to order a copy just follow the link bellow:-

You may also like to talk things through with one of the helpline staff, they are there to offer emotional support as well as provide information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and lines are open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 10-2 Saturday.

Best wishes

June, moderator

Hi Rachel,

I was diagnosed with grade 3 invasive ductal on 27th December, so I know exactly how you are feeling. I involved my husband from the very start and he comes with me to all my appointments, takes a genuine interest in all things breast cancer, reads up about the treatments and side effects, and knows what will be in store for us both. Because it will be both of you - not just you. Nothing is more certain.

Please don’t keep your husband in the dark about your feelings and fears - this is the time when you need him most and he will understand that. When you start your treatments you will need him from a more practical point of view, too. I am currently training mine in the art of housework! (You should have seen his face when I explained how to clean a toilet properly )

The waiting is awful, everyone on this forum will say the same. Once you get a treatment plan you will feel much better, as things tend to move very quickly. If you are having such bad anxiety attacks I recommend you visit your GP as soon as possible. He can prescribe things to help you. There is no need to suffer, and the other lovely ladies on this forum will always be here to chat to, have a rant with, have a cry, and even a laugh. But do go to see your GP.


Hello Rachel, I just wanted to say hello, and that I too was diagnosed very recently and have taken a lot of comfort from the marvellous people on this forum, and have picked up a lot of useful info from reading other people’s experiences who are ahead of us. I hope you’ll find that a comfort too, and I’m sure there will be others along soon to give you advice.
When I was first attending the clinic there were qustions that I kept forgetting to ask, and I contacted the BCC nurse by emal and got a call back the same day, and it was great just to talk to someone outside family & friends (who’ve been great but sometimes you just need it to be someone else don’t you). I’d think about that as an option, or the helpline.
I’ve found the waiting difficult and I’ve got another 2 weeks to wait for my post-op results, and the anxiety comes and goes. I couldn’t sleep last night and got up and made a mug of cocoa and read through some posts on here from yesterday. I’ve also made a list of all sorts of things that I never have time to get round to, I’m pretty sure I’ll not do them all but I’ve crossed a few small things off already and that has distracted me a bit. Simple stuff I know but so far its keeping me sane.

Hi Rachael,
I was DX last feb with grade 3 idc with 3/20 nodes affected , it was a real bombshell I was operated on 1 week later had wle then started chemo 4 weeks after 6 x FEC-T followed by 20 sessions of rads, its tough hun but its do-able it really is, when I was dx I concentrated on the grade and the fact that it was in my lymph nodes I was so scared I couldnt sleep 7 like you started to get panic attacks , the fear fades once you start treatment you just want to get through it & out the other side it sort of takes over you go into survival mode. Today I had my 1st mamogram after active treatment and I had an ultrasound as well as my breast has been painful so they gave me a good check over and tey told me there is no evidence of disease , for me this will do quite nicely after the last year , I have to learn to live with the fact that it MAY come back , if I am one of the lucky ones it may NOT , one thing being dx does it gives you coping strategies and it will you I promise it does get easier

Good luck with your treatment, come on here and have a good rant whenever you need it really does help, I have found this site invaluable and will im sure for the forseeable future


I found Reki a way of coping in the early stages with calming me down and helping With sleep. I also got black out linings for the windows so it was really dark to see if that would help too.

Thank you to June, Lola, Panacea, Lottie and Carrie for your responses. It really helps to feel I am not the only one in this awful situation. I have spoken to my GP, who was very sympathetic. and I now, for the first time in my life, have some sleeping tablets to try. Panacea I can’t believe that you have to wait 2 weeks for the post op results. Surely that is unreasonable. I have an appointment with the surgeon on Tuesday (OH coming too!) and perhaps after that I will get a grip! i guess we all just have to keep our chins up; mine is now but it wasn’t this morning.

Hello Rachel, I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better and I hope the sleeping tablets help. Its good to hear that you’ve got a sympathetic GP. Mine actually phoned me up to see how I was doing when I first got recalled to the clinic - I was a bit taken aback but it made a big difference to know that he cared. Unfortunately that hasn’t filtered down to the practice receptionists! One thing that I didn’t realise was that you have to go back to the GP to be signed off work - not sure if you’ll need that but its worth bearing in mind. The hospital can only sign you off for the days you are actually in for surgery.
When I first joined the forum I couldn’t understand why lots of people who already had a diagnosis were talking about waiting for results - but its the pathology on whatever has been removed, for one thing to make sure that they’ve got what they need to. I think 2 weeks is pretty standard - but others will be able to confirm that.
Hang in there, and good luck for Tuesday.

Hi Rachel. I have been exactley the same, I was diagnosed on 9/1/13 and was told yesterday i will need chemo, was gutted. I am terrified of chemo and am fed up of feeling scared. We all seem to be pretty much the same, but am sure your husband won’t mind you leaning on him when you are going through a difficult time.