Another op and treatment

Good morning ladies.
I’m about to see my consultant today and I’m so nervous it’s unbelievable.
Last week I went to see him to check wound from a lumpectomy(30mm) I had on 24th July and one lymph node hoping to be told I just need radiotherapy after that!
Well, it wasn’t as expected! I have grade 2 Ductal BC! I need another op to take away pre cancerous breast tissue and maybe lymph nodes! Then chemo and then radio and maybe tablets after that!
I just keep thinking ‘what are they are going to throw at me again’ once I calm down after each appointment and try to live normally which is of course very difficult!
I have brought my 20 year old up on my own, don’t have a partner and run a small business which also worries me, as the bills and staff wages need to paid! I’m just so devasted, confused, worried and emotionally drained! I have got through many obstacles in life with a smile on my face and in return have been here to help so many people raising so much for charities and just being here for people who need help! This really is something different! I think I do have a tendency to think things are worse than they are (as been proved this time) and need to try to think of the positive (although there doesn’t seem to be atm) but this is so not me! The confident, bubbly, friendly, happy bundle of fun who is so used to bringing smiles to people’s faces has become a worries, stressed, emotionally wreck! I have tried to pull myself together but then they some more bad news to deal with! I know I will get through this but just wanted to have a moan somewhere where people really do understand! Off to my appointment now! Hope it’s not a complicated result today! Thank you ladies for letting me let out some emotion. X

Hi CK,good luck with your appointment.Do you have someone to go with you ? Did they explain why chemo ? You seem to have gone from very straight forward treatment to having everything thrown at you -overwhelming .Do you have staff who can step in with business and take the reigns for a while ?

I am on the way now with my friend who came last week. Luckily she listened whilst I cried. I know once I’ve been today whatever I’m told I will get my head around it and deal with everything but it just all seems so hard at the moment

It’s very hard to take in what they are telling you when are upset /anxious .Tell your friend what questions you want to ask in case you don’t mamage to get them out .

Hi CK

 

 

Sending you lots of supportive hugs and best wishes.  Letting out the emotion on this forum helped me a couple of weeks ago so come moan whenever you need to.

 

BW

Alison

 

Some of us live in the past, always talking about back then. Some of us live in the future, always planning what we are going to do. And, then there are those, who neither look behind or ahead, but just enjoy the moment of right now

Big hugs ck, i know exactley how youf feeling im going for results tomorrow, i had 3 lymph nodes taken when they initially told me one, for 2 weeks ive been asking my self why did they take 3, im also praying for no lymoh node involvement, its such an up and down ride, you have days when you feel yes i can do this, and days when its a right struggle and panic, im really hoping your results were all that you wanted to here today.

 

Debbie xx 

I remember thinking the same,Debbie. The surgeon said 1 node & took 2. It’s ok, it only means the nodes nearest the tumour are checked, so they’re being thorough.
Sending very best wishes to all of you in that horrible waiting stage. It will soon move on & settle down.
ann x

Hi ladies,
Thank you all so much for your support! It really does help knowing you are speaking to ladies who really do understand, although the team who are looking after me are amazing!
When they say to me ‘You will be alright’ I think to myself ‘How do they know I’m going to be alright?’
Or ‘Am I really going to be alright, now they say that?’ But whatever they tell me I’m still scared.

So today I’ve been given option of either chemo or op first (I’ve just recovered from first op) but consultant said he would advise chemo first as will be sooner and better for him when he does the op, so rhat is what Ive chosen! Ive been given an appointment to see chemo nurse next week, then hopefully start in 2/3 weeks!

It’s probably harder as I’ve got to sort the business out and make sure it runs smoothly. At the moment I can go in Fri to Sun when it’s busiest but when I start chemo I don’t know how I will feel.

Having my daughter around has been great but she will go back to Uni middle Sept!

I’m thinking it’s going to be tough on my own:(

I think my mind is working overtime but really can’t help it!

Hi Debbie
I hope you get some sleep tonight before your appointment tomorrow.
Lots of love.xx

Ck stay strong Hun x Debbie any update? X love to all x

 

 

well said Rosie…brave young women!  

 

Love and all the best xxx

I’m feeling so rude as cannot reply to your comments individually(like Facebook which I’ve not been on since discovering you ladies) and cannot remember everyone’s names at the moment except SueW with her YMCA joke which will help our arm exercises, but I want you all to know that each and everyone of you who has commented have been so kind and supportive and motivated me to be stronger and to deal with things a day at a time, rather than worry and have a wandering mind!! This has been the business woman in me, planning and organising ahead but I’ve realised it’s time to think for me now! Since being on here I have a more positive attitude which I did have until this (but this is something different) and I feel like I know you ladies! We all have something in common and feel for each another ( I wish everyone was like that)
Two days ago I was beyond myself with worry about seeing the chemo nurse next week but now I seem to be ready! I’ll probably crumble on the day again! My consultant and BCN have a complex now as I tell them they make me cry! After my cry I usually come out with humour then but then that’s my way of coping! Let’s all have a good sleep tonight.xx

Hi Jencat
My daughter is home from Uni at the moment so I’ve been alright but it’s when she goes back in September I’m going to struggle. My daughter will be 20 next week, how old is yours?xx

Jencat
Happy birthday and thanks! I’ve not really arranged much as other things to deal with but will have dinner with her dad on her birthday (We do talk as we have a daughter together) and maybe a lunch with friends in the week. Then my chemo nurse appointment on Weds. If we occupy ourselves there’s not much time to think. You are a night owl like me. Nite nite.xx

Ck like you this is my new fb and what lovely comments you have put x I can usually sleep st night but been up since 5 this morning x hope you lovely ladies have a great day x jencat have a fabulous few days away x I am sure we will chat in this or other the ears throughout the day xx

Omg autocorrect has made me laugh that should be other threads xx

Is it far to travel to jencat? X

That’s a nice travel time as not too far if for any reason you have to come home x I am pa to deputy head, admin support (exclusions inclusions etc, praise) and student services they have got some one to cover me temporarily xx

Hi ladies
Yes, we do need to put ourselves first but we still need to think about other things which have always been part of our everyday lives.(a woman thing)
I must admit I do worry about my business (a restaurant) as I am the restaurant, if you know what I mean! I’ve been there for 18 years and have brought up my daughter and used it as a way to help the community too with my fundraisers! The good thing is I’ve just been going in on Fri to Sun or as I feel but still get paid a salary (as no other help for self employers)
But so worried about how chemo is going to treat me and the business going to pot as bills and staff to pay! So I need to have a plan before I start.x

SueW I hope you aren’t doing YMCA yet…maybe next week as better not lifting arms over your head yet, maybe do row row row ya boat first!!

Jencat, have a lovely few days!
I will see how chemo treats me and try to go away somewhere in between. I hope I can.

And all the other lovely ladies, I hope you feel better day by day.xxx

I’m waiting for a lady to come round and give me an Indian head massage now! Bliss??

I like that row your. Boat ?. Indian head massage sounds fab
Work is a worry but to be honest I am fortunate that I am am going to just ignore anything work related i hope you are able to do the same jencat x ck I understand you can’t but I really hope you are s if to rest and step back a little bit xx