Another waiting for clinic

Hi, thank you for letting me use your forum.

I found a lump a few weeks ago and am ashamed to say only got around to getting to the GP last Monday as have been a long-distance carer for my mum up until her death from pancreatic cancer earlier this year and having to sort all her probate and stuff out, also coping with brother who has been in hospital for three months with sepsis and lost a leg. Urgh. So much caring so little me time!!

 

I have noticed a shrinking boob, noticeably so, and a long thin lump. The breast itself feels wrong, all kind of shrivelled and hard. There is a similar structure in the good boob so I just thought for ages that shrinking meant more prominent inside stuff showing up. There was nothing anywhere to say that a shrinking boob could be a sign but reading around I found that shrinking could be a sign (this information was so hard to find that if it is indeed a sign it needs to be put on all the literature and not just a “change in shape” as thick people like me assume breasts get larger if they have lumps growing in them).

 

Anyway, got an urgent referral to breast clinic which works out at JUST within the 2 weeks as it is the 30th. I was OK until yesterday when I thought “this time next week I will know what is going on”. That has been the turning point and I am scared now. 

 

I also have fibromyalgia and primary generalised osteoarthritis which is in my neck, back, hands, hips, knees and spine so there is enough pain already to deal with. I think although I know I am jumping the gun (but I also know my GP was reassuring me re treatments and coming to talk things through etc) I am absolutely TERRIFIED of chemo and it would be something that would be too frightening to contemplate. 

 

Anyway here I am waiting for Friday, cannot sleep, not hungry (weight loss bonus). I am  really worried, husband is a sweetie but I don’t want to bother him with it all. Oh and I am 59. Thanks for reading! 

 

I had breast surgery as a baby for a massive abscess, and have always had lumps and bumps, and have had several fibroadenomas in that breast which in the past have been watched and checked. When I had children they both hated that side and only fed off the other one. 

 

 

Hi Zena, 

First of all, welcome to the forum, it’s what it’s for. 

Sorry to hear what you’ve been through lately & that you have this anxiety now, but thank goodness, you’re getting it sorted out. 

There’s no magic wand with dealing with the wait & the mind does go into overdrive, so it helps to take one stage at a time & not to think to far ahead.  Chances are it’s not bc & if on the off chance it turns out to be, then a treatment plan will be sorted out for you, you’ll cross that bridge if you come to it. 

If you want do, do let us know how you get on & come back & chat whenever you need to. 

ann x