Im 49, was diagnosed with bc in march and has a mastectomy and a reconstruction (which i wish i had not bothered) started fec chemo 25th june after much fear of it,
All in all Im an anxious person and am prone to depression occasionaly, but nothing like this,
When i found out i had cancer i was absolutly terrified and didnt cope at all with the news and with the fear of the op and everything that goes with this, i just got so low, ended up living in my bedroom and not too well with it, dont know if it will ever end, im on my 2nd wk of my first cycle of chemo and am finding everything too hard to cope with im on tranquilizers but dont want antidepressants as they make me feel ill.
has anyone out there felt like this, im normaly quite strong but this has broken me
Hi mcgill49
It sounds like you are having a pretty tough time at the moment. Whilst you are waiting for the other users to reply with their experiences and advice you may find it helps to talk this through with one of our trained members of staff on the BCC helpline. Here you are able to share your worries and concerns with someone who will offer you a listening ear as well as support and information if required. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to friday 9am to 5pm and Saturday 9am to 2pm.
I hope you find this helpful.
Kind regards
Sam (BCC Facilitator)
I’m sorry you are feeling so low. I, like you have suffered with anxiety and depression on and off for years, although the depression was associated with a bereavement and I did take antidepressants for about a year. They really helped me, at the time I was terrified of taking them but they did the job for me. With a dx of bc it’s perfectly normal to have feelings of anxiety and depression and a whole load more besides. I think tranquilisers can help in the short term but that’s all. Does your surgery have a counselling service, this should be available also at the hospital where you’re being treated. I think they’re Dimbleby Cancer centres or something like that. It’s a huge, huge thing you’re facing and any help you can get, you should. I hope you are managing the chemo - there’s lots of meds that can help with any nasty SE and your onc will give you what you need.
I’m nearly 9 mths post-dx, finished treatment in May and it’s really only now that I’m feeling really wobbly. My body must have relaxed after the treatment and now I’m feeling the after-effects of what was, let’s face it, a really traumatic time. I’m taking advantage of the counselling services offered at my workplace as sometimes it helps to be able to talk to someone who’s not emotionally involved. And remember you’re not alone, come on here and vent as often as you like. Take care, Pat x
I think one of the major problems is thinking that what you are going through is somehow abnormal. The reality of it is we dont have a clue how others cope with cancer - even if they are open and honest,we only get a brief snapshot of their lives. You have suffered a big huge lifechanging event, one that is terrifying and with no certainty. The other problem is the effects of the treatment can make you feel terrible too. You need proper therapy, a counsellor or therapist who will help you find someway of coping with this. I am also sure that there must be some antidepressant that you would tolerate. Perhaps contacting the helpline as they will know how you access therapy?
As the others have said, its not abnormal to feel the way you do after such a life changing thing as being dx with BC, then to top it all, we’re thrown into very aggressive treatments that in themselves can cause very dramatic changes in our brain chemistry. I remember after each of my chemo’s I was almost suicidal, the chemo and the drugs they gave me for side effects, steroids etc, really tipped me over the edge, but once I understood what the onc was telling me that it was the chemo and drugs that were doing this, I felt more able to cope as I knew they would lessen when chemo had finished.but I had some very severe side effects from chemo.
I am also one of those that get very ill on anti depressants, but the key is to start them at the very lowest dose possible, even if that means cutting them in half or quarter and then increase very slowly until you tolerate them. I know personally I wouldnt have got through treatment without them, as for tranquilizers, I did take the ones offered (lorazepam) for a week after each chemo, they certainly helped, but I knew not to continue on them as they dont help long term.
as others have also said, ask your BCN for an urgent referral to a trained counsellor at your hospital,they are there for all people like us and understand all the ups and downs of diagnosis and treatment,
best of luck and pm if you need to talk more.
SS