Any advice for a desperate husband?

Ladies,

my wife received a positive diagnosis for bc earlier this week and as you can imagine I am trawling through books and the internet to find ways to help in her recovery.

 

We are told she has a grade 2 tumour but will later today be told if it is an oestrogen feeder (no chemo) or other type of tumour that will require chemo. We will also get the results of her bone scan, but other scans suggest no spread to other organs or lymph glands. (Fingers firmly crossed)

 

MRI yesterday to determine the actual size but Surgeon thinks it is about 20 to 25 mm which will allow him to operate next Thursday. Any bigger and he will treat to shrink the tumour before removing it.

 

I do all the cooking at home and am looking at ways to improve diet. I am currently rushing through the Jane Plant books and have reviewed the pros and cons of the diet both on this forum and on other websites. The frustrating thing is we already eat well; lots of pulses, lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, possibly a bit too much meat and alcohol. We only reintroduced dairy into our diet recently due to a health condition I have.

 

I have researched selenium, zinc and brewers yeast as possibly beneficial supplements and this led me to a product called Biobran that looks a bit too positive and more studying is required to make sure it is not a scam.

 

My wife has been advised to stop her HRT and the breast nurse suggested Black Cohosh as an alternative to stop the nighttime hot flushes that plague her, others have told us this has potential side effects that could worsen her condition and Sage has been suggested instead of the Black Cohosh.

 

The wife is one of the most positive people I know and she sees this as just a burden that she will overcome, so if positive outcome can help, she has it in bundles.

 

She is being treated by Nicolas Beechey-Newman who has been very helpful, very positive and has given us lots of hope.

 

we are at the beginning of a road well trod by you ladies here and any suggestions, help, direction would all be greatly received.

Hi there

I think if you already eat a healthy diet, you’re already doing the right things. My understanding is that there is quite a strong link between healthy lifestyle and better treatment outcomes, diet and exercise, not smoking, being a healthy weight etc can all help.

I have Tamoxifen which is a hormone treatment, I was told that as the aim is to suppress oestrogen, things like Black Cohosh are also banned, because they are used by the body like oestrogen. Stopping HRT and going through all this is a double whammy, so it could be an emotional time.

 

Finally, the best advice I would give is for your wife to come on here, I wish I had found this much earlier in my treatment. There’s usually someone who knows the answer to questions, and a bit of support and sympathy from other women who understand is wonderful if you’re feeling down. It’s easy to feel alone when you’re coping with a diagnosis and going through treatment.

 

Good luck to you and your wife, it may be your wife who has the cancer, but it affects you too, so make sure you look after your own needs. My husband was in tears when he got an email offering him support after I was diagnosed. It’s not always easy for men to acknowledge how hard they’re finding it too.

Hi Gracie

Sorry to find you here, but this is a great forum for advice and support.

As previously said, your support and your wife’s positivity is fantastic. 

A well-balanced diet is important but I think we can look too much into causes and solutions. I once read on hear that bc can be a bit of a lottery. Hard to predict who is dealt this hand. I think a lot of us beat ourselves up with what could have been differently to avoid this. 

At this stage, all I can say is you may be presented choices on the treatment plan, but be guided by what your consultants tell you. They are the experts after all. 

Good luck with the test results x