Hi all
I only found this forum today and have posted somewhere here but am a bit confused and it seems to have got lost!
My Mum had breast cancer when she was 46 (1987). She had a mastectomy and needed no follow up treatment thankfully.
In view of a family history (her aunt and cousin had it too, I have had two yearly mammograms - the last one was December 2010 which showed no evidence of disease (I am 48)
Now, 16 months later I have found a lump in my right breast. It is quite superficial, like a pea.
I went to the Drs the day after finding it and although she said it is ‘mobile and smooth and feels like a cyst’ she referred me to the clinic.
I have an appointment next Thursday.
In February, my 44 years old brother was found dead in his flat after being discharged from A&E with severe chest pain. They told him he had indigestion, when in fact he had a thoracic aortic aneurysm. We are all still reeling from the shock and devastation of his death and now I find this lump!
I cannot tell my poor parents as I don’t know how they would cope.
My sister knows and so do my DD’s but like everyone they all say ‘Don’t worry!!’
How on earth do you not worry!
My 9 year relationship broke up in November due to his infidelity so I feel I have had my fair share of c**p recently. I have had lots of support from friends and family throughout the last 6 months but - honestly! They are going to get fed up of my woes!
So glad I have found this site as it seems very positive and supportive. Just wish none of us have to be here!
Good luck to everyone who has appointments in the coming week.
You have been through a rough chapter haven’t you? Your brother, your partner, (why can’t people just be faithful or at least open up and be honest, instead of causing pain and anguish to people?)
Good luck for Thursday, are you at a one stop clinic? I started my journey via the breast clinic in January, when I finally went to the doctors with pain, and she found a couple of lumps that sent me to clinic.
People say “Don’t worry” and “don’t google” and “it will be fine” but unless they have been in the waiting room, with all the fears, how can they know what we are going through? Well meaning people, gotta love em…
Anyway, here your hand will be held and I hope that your lump turns out to be benign… But at least you can share your worries and fears here, with women who have been right where you are now.
Yes, it is a one stop clinic (as far as I know) The info from the hospital says that they aim to give results of most of the tests on the day although not the Fine Needle biopsy.
I work at the hospital, in Gynae surgery, so don’t know much about the breast side of things apart from the fact I mingle with surgeons of all specialities and know who the breast surgeons are.
My friend (an ENT consultant) is good friends with one of the breast surgeons so is going to tell him to look out for me on Thursday. Luckily, my letter from the hospital suggests he is my consultant anyway.
Unfortunately, it is the same hospital that allowed my brother to die, and, we as a family are starting a medical negligence case against them!
Blimey! It never rains - but pours!
What was your diagnosis sommer?
I am keeping busy during the days, but finding it hard to sleep at night. So I either drink wine (ok! I know thats not the answer!) or the sleeping tablets I take after a night shift!
I was at a one stop clinic, I had to wait for the results of the FNA and the core biopsy. I had a complex fibroadenoma which showed some activity, however, this was not known till final histology. I had an excisional biopsy under general back in March.
That’s handy, having someone who can help brave the storm for you. I asked for a second opinion, which was only due as I found my first consultant quite vague…
Oh heck… I too, am dizzy after a round with our local mental health services over my mother, who I had to fight for a diagnosis for her for 20 years, it was never ending and I had some rather standoffish battles with her consultant. Still, while I didn’t start a lawsuit, I did end up with pleasing results, which was the diagnosis and the funding that was needed for her on discharge.
I got my local involved in mine, it was worth it, as he could get to the cheif executive for me.
Honeypot, worrying is allowed, as long as you can share your worries so we can help you to keep them in perspective, as it’s getting your fears out of proportion that is so terrifying.
Some ideas for you.
* 9 out of 10 lumps referred to the breast clinics are NOT cancer.
* Sharing your worries on here will help you to keep them manageable. They’re still real, and we won’t tell you not to worry because we’ve all been there.
* If you need to google, try to stick to reputable sites and UK sites such as this one, Macmillan, Cancer Research UK.
* Give the helpline a ring tomorrow. Speaking to a knowledgeable human voice can be really helpful. Even if you just end up blubbing down the phone that’s ok, but they do have some very helpful information and encouragement.
* Take a look at the publications part of the main site, there are some very useful leaflets that you might find helpful.
* Use these forums to offload while you’re waiting. That will help you to keep the panic in check.
* If it DOES turn out to be bad news, you will not be alone. We’ve been where you are, we are here for you if you need us, and many of us have gone through it and come out the other side.
You really have to have your wits about you when it comes to hospitals doesn’t it?!
I know our hospital can give really excellent care, but some parts of it are a real let down (such as A&E)
Do you need any more treatment?
Did you check your breasts regulary?
I have been tempted to text ex and ask if he ever felt a lump when we were together as I am convinced this is quite a recent find. But refuse to give him the satisfaction of me crawling back LOL!Plus, I know he would have commented at the time, so fruitless exercise really!
I did check my breasts, I would say about once every couple of months. But I wasn’t rigorous about it.
I am on follow up every six months, then likely I will be handed over to the national screening facility after that with a bit of luck. I have some post surgery issues that will come good in time, rather alarming at first, but places like this are a god send for allaying fears…
Oooh, am not so sure ex texting is such a good idea… You’ve found it now, so whether he has or not, is irrelevant.
In addition to the peer support you have here our helpliners are on hand to offer further support on 0808 800 6000 the lines are open 9-5 Mon-Fri and 9-2 Sat, please feel free to call to talk things over
The following link will take you to the BCC ‘Worried about breast cancer’ web page where you will find various information including a link to the BCC ‘Referral to a breast clinic’ publication which you may find useful:
Just wanted to say help yourself to the comfiest chair… Not because you’ll be here for long, but because you deserve it (as the adverts say!) And because the Waiting Room is the WORST place to be… Even getting a diagnosis of cancer is less ghastly than the Waiting Room, when your imagination runs riot. The first time I visited the Waiting Room my kids were young, and I had my funeral planned! They’re adults now… most of the times I’ve been there, I’ve been one of the 9/10 people that do NOT have cancer. Not last time, but by then I was so used to it, that I was quite calm… funny really…
Anyway, take each day at a time… if you find yourself thinking “what if”… do your best to focus on something in the here and now,and bring your thoughts back from wherever they want to run to… I find that concentrating on something in front of me stops the worries (for the moment at least!)
Think you put that nicely GI,Im back this afternoon at 2, 7 ,week post op and found a lump or hard muscle not sure,im feeling nervous and all clamy just the thoughts of sitting, waiting,wondering what they will do next,watching nurses, wondering when you will be called.that is a trauma in its self.xxx
That’s what I do, watch the nurses, I take my book, but never read it, just watch and wait for my name to be called. I have usually ended up chatting too.
You will be there now, let’s hope for fat necrosis at the very least…
Thanks to others that have posted. I have driven home from work and just kept thinking - how will my girls cope without me? I know they are adults now - but still - there is never a good age to lose your mum is there?
I am sorry this all sounds so depressing, but the nearer I get to thursday the more sick I feel. Felt really low at work. A couple of people picked up on it and commented, but I can’t go round telling everyone! Only a few close colleagues know about ‘the lump’. So of course I keep saying I am fine!
On friday, a lot of people from work went to a colleagues retirement ‘do’. Today, one of the consultants caught me as I left the coffee room and said ‘Hey, you looked very foxy on friday in your little black dress and heels!’
I went bright read and thanked him, but what I really wanted to say was…
‘You won’t be saying that when all my hair falls out’
I really need to snap out of this terrible cycle of misery!
Hi HP, I think we all go through that stage at first, because of the not knowing and I certainly thought the worst, it was awful, my OH was in the waiting room and I came out trying to hold back the tears, it was terrifying. As time went on though and I posted more, it became easier and reading about lots of women who were diagnosed and leading their lives, here, gave me some inspiration and not to think bleakly all the time.
I don’t think your girls will be without you… Whatever it is, you will soon find out and if the worst news is that you have cancer, then it is so treatable now, while little is known about it, what causes it, there is still a mine of information out there, people who have been diagnosed and who are getting through it. Then of course, there are the benign conditions…
Being positive is hard when one is scared, but try to think about the good things, and not let it cloud your life till Thursday, it will soon be here.
I am trying to keep busy by changing the beds, ironing etc! What fun!
I am on a long day at work tomorrow so have only got to get through wednesday (day off) and then…the dreaded appointment.
I wish I was in the right frame of mind to chant ‘9 out of 10 lumps are benign’. Instead I just keep thinking ‘I bet I am the 1 in 10 whose lump is malignant’!!
Going to stop moaning now and get on with things…
Good luck to all those who have their appoinments before me.
I didn’t chant anything, but I did find it helpful to read a lot, here, about benign conditions, and to be very careful about my research. There is some scary stuff out there, so if you are going to do some searching, make sure it is a worthwhile source.
What I found helpful was talking to the helpline, and posting my thoughts, here. Then my friends stopped asking me questions and saying things like “It will be a fatty lump”
Good thing about here is that nobody minds what we chant, because it is so worrying and our minds go into overdrive.
I’ve stop chanting now lol trouble is I don’t believe it no matter how hard I try. So 10am mammogram tomorrow, I’m going on my own thats best for me. Distracting myself with The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest (was up til 1.30am reading that) brilliant trilogy I can reccommend to all. Just been for lunch with old friend and she was almost cross with me for not being more objective/positive I didn’t cry but I was sad because she just didn’t understand. Deep breath, I just want to know what it is!
Good luck to Honeypot and Jocro x
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