Hi all
Just wanted to say a belated happy new year to all. I hope everyone is well and responding well to treatments etc. All of you are in my thoughts each and every day.I know it has been said before but I know I wouldn’t have got through last year without the support of everybody.
I apologise for not posting but I have tried to push alot of last year out of my memory .
Well in two weeks time I’m meant to be having the ‘gold standard’ reconstruction-fat from tummy to breast. Thing is I just can’t face it and think I’m going to cancel.
Hi Freddiecider,
I am only recently diagnosed, with surgery 6 days ago, so dont know if I am ‘qualified’ to comment - but your post hit a nerve with me.
I dont think you are mad, I think probably fed up, tired, scared… all the normal emotions.
Even though your surgery is scheduled for two weeks doesnt mean that it is now or never. It can always be rescheduled if you really cant face it just now.
Whatever you decide will be the right thing for you
Marguerite
know exactly how you feel. i had surgery last september, then was told i had an invasive cancer and needed chemo and radiotherapy. had a wle for ? ductal insitu surgery went ok.i,m a district nurse and i told the doc who told me i was down for chemo ‘don,t want it’. half way through chemo another 3 months to go then radiotherapy and i am still stropping and tell my family i don’t want to go and have any more treatment and want to cancel every month!i know its illogical and quite mad but can’t see the point sometimes. would like everyone to leave me alone and get on with the life i’ve got left to live. i trust my oncologist but have a niggle and a strop every month when i see him and he makes me feel safe and reassures me. talk to your surgeon he will reassure you, your feelings are normal. you will be fine you will get there. one step at a time.fter you have had your surgery you will be ready to face the rest of it. good luck. xx
Hi Freddiecider
I can understand just how you’re feeling - why would anyone willingly put themselves back into ‘cancerworld’?? I just thought it might be useful to share my experience with you…
I had a mx in 1997 and a TRAM flap reconstruction 2 years later. I found the emotional side of it to be one of the best experiences of my life - that completely took me by surprise, because I had been very unhappy about losing my breast, but I thought I would be relieved and of course its a complicated op.
I felt as though I’d had another baby - even named my ‘flap’ after the surgeon! I have never looked back, psychologically and love my breast very much.
I’m not saying the op was easy, because it wasn’t (I do know things have improved a lot since then!) but my friend had the same op 5 years after me and feels the same about her breast.
we are all different and you might feel that its not for you, and others will no doubt have different experiences, but I didn’t want to not tell you how good it can make you feel
I hope you can come to a decision that feels right for you, I think thats all that matters!
good luck
love, monica xxx