anybody out there?

I have just found out I have level 3 breast cancer and had to tell my close friends tonight. We were all meeting up anyway as we are all mums at the same school and like to get out together once in a while. I decided to tell them before the effect of the chemo started to show. They are all going to come on the school run wearing their headscarves so i don’t feel so conspicuous, love them. I am not sleeping much as my brain has gone into overdrive and the nights are very long and lonely at the moment.

Caroline x

Hi Caroline

I am sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis of breast cancer, I am sure you will receive valuable advice and support from your fellow users.

In addition, here is a link to a Breast Cancer Care publication ‘Resources Pack’ which can be ordered on line, it is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available:

You are also welcome to contact our freephone confidential helpline on 0808 800 6000, the helpline team can offer you further support and a ‘listening ear’ so that you can talk about the things that are worrying you at the moment. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm.

Hope this helps.

Breast Cancer Care

Hi Caroline,

I’m sorry you’ve had to join this forum and are at the start of a long-haul few months… I can only comment from my experience, which started in late April, also diagnosed with a Grade 3 tumour… that time was the worst undoubtedly… a bit of a roller-coaster emotionally, as I got used to it all… but it sounds as if you’ve got some great friends to support you throught this… The worst things at first (where you are now) was being unsure of how things would turn out, what the treatment would be like, etc… I’m now over 5 months down the line, having had a lumpectomy/removal of lymph nodes and am 2/3 of the way through chemo and with hindsight, the time has gone quite quickly. You’ll read on these forums about people who’ve experienced really hard times, but take on board the positive feedback too… I’ve actually found it much more tolerable than I’d expected… a bit of sickness immediately after chemo and hair loss, but my stamina and general health has been pretty good. I’m lucky in that I’ve been able to keep on working, which was important for me, as it kept some kind of normality in my life.

You’ll get some great advice from people here who have been through it… but don’t get dragged down by the worst-case scenarios, as it probably won’t happen to you!!
Just take one step at a time and make the most of what friends and families offer re help… and give yourself plenty of “you-time”…
All the best and take care,

Alison x

Hi Caroline

Sorry you have had to join us on here. BUt you are in good company and will find heaps of support.

I am 39 with a 3 yr old daughter and 10 month old son and was dx in July. It is a rollercoaster of emotions believe me, and you will have good days and bad days and some days just wanna curl up and cry all the time. I had a really hard time for the 3 weeks until I started chemo, as was so scared of what was happening with my body and my life actually. Unfortunately I was told 10 days after being dx with bc, that it had spread to my liver, so no mascectomy for me, although was prepared for a double mascectomy, anything to cut the b******s out. I am now half way through my chemo and have been fine on it with no sickness at all, just the hair loss which is hard to deal with. Chemo is doable (although rather do something else), and if you want to ask any questions feel free.

Whatever you feel like, come on here whether to scream, cry, shout, rave or even laugh. Cos we are all going through same or similar things and help to support each other. You will get through this, and once you start on your treatment plan if you need to, I think it becomes easier. Your friends and family will also help you as best they can. But as Alison said, take one step at a time, each day at a time and don’t push yourself too hard and if you need to cry, then do, as better out than in.

Take care

Hi Caroline

Sorry to have you have to join us, but a big welcome!

The pack that Lucy suggests is very well worth getting - you can keep everything together in it - including any notes.

So glad your friends are so supportive, this is a very new and uncharted (for you) road that you’re on, but everyone here will support you as will your team at the hospital. Once you’re on chemo things tend to settle a bit and you will sort them out better in your mind. I’ve just had my second cycle and am still able to annoy everyone.

At first just keep to the topics that are relevant and, if something is too much, back off and look at something else.

Ruth x

Hi Caroline,

I just wanted to say I am sorry that you have had to join the forum but if you want someone to chat to I am here also

Sharon x

Hi Caroline,

I’m so sorry you’ve had to join our elusive little club that noone really wants to be in, but ‘welcome’ to this most awesome site. I’m glad you’ve found us!! I was diagnosed in March, age 34, and have found this site to be a godsend ever since! The support and advice you will get on here is second to none.

I knew v.little about bc prior to diagnosis and it has been a v.steep learning curve for me and those closest to me! I had a mastectomy and total axillary clearance a week after diagnosis, so had v.little time to absorb what was happening to me. I started E-CMF chemo in May and am due my final session next weds!! I honestly can not believe how quickly the time has gone! Chemo has been tough at times but nowhere near as bad as I had imagined it to be! It is very doable, the good days will far out number the bad I’m sure. Personally the hardest thing for me was dealing with the hair loss, and I know thats what many people have found to be the worst. However once I’d got over the tears I was amazed at how quickly I got used to my baldie head. My hair is now growing back with avengence and I can hardly remember what it was like a few weeks ago now!!

I have found the hardest thing to be telling people when first diagnosed, so I can appreciate how difficult it must be for you right now, having to tell people. Also, I felt better once treatment had commenced and I knew what was what. My tumour was also grade 3 and I had lymph nodes involved however all the scans I have had so far show no further spread. After my chemo I am having rads, Tamoxifen and a years worth of Herceptin as I’m HER2 +. Phew!!! They’re throwing everything at this little bu**er and I’m not complaining!

Take care of yourself as you start out on this journey, and you know where we are if you need us,


Thanks everyone for your ‘welcome’. Like you say, not a group you expect to join. I don’t see my oncologist for the first assesment until Wednesday 17th at the earliest but then I am told to expect to start treatment the next week, half term!
I had planned to take a couple of days off work to spend with my children (Ben 3 and Maegan 6) doing fun stuff but I think that;s not on the agenda anymore. I went to bed this evening absolutely shattered but I am still awake again after 3 hours. The lack of sleep made me very weepy today looks like more of the same tomorrow (or today depending on when you read this!)

Hi Casbas

I know exactly where you are coming from, as do most of the ladies/guys on here know. Of all the “clubs” as some people call it, this site is most helpful. Since my dx ive had so many down moments and times when ive really thought i couldnt cope… waiting for results time, starting chemo time, losing hair time - god the list goes on and everytime i felt sad, upset, anxious, nervous, low etc etc I would post my feelings and the ladies on here would reply and ya know what… they are wonderful replies and gives you SO much comfort because they are all at different stages - some at your stage and some further down the line who can guide you along this journey.

Like the ladies above, should you need anything, rant rave scream laugh cry? post on here and you will always get a friendly “invisible friends” shoulder to cry on.

Love Lynne.x