I’ve not posted for quite a while-to be honest i’m too tired to get the computer out!
Has anyone else noticed that their memory has practically disappeared? I was dx BC Feb 07, lumpectomy + lymph node removal, chemo then rads and now Tamoxifen (for 10mths so far).
I thought i was coping quite well with everything, i’ve got a new job which i love even though i am exhausted still, however, i opened my curtains the other day to see my car being clamped as i had totally forgotten to renew my car tax!! I have had the most horrendous 2 days trying to sort i all out - i’ve been a total wreck crying constantly, in the post office, on the phone to the clampers, in the dvla office - not helped by being spoken down to like an idiot! I just cannot believe how wretched it has made me feel.
My mum thinks that it was a case of once the floodgates were open…she maybe right, perhaps i was crying about everything over the past year of so.
I would like to know if anyone else out there has noticed their memory has been affected like mine?
I was warned by my BC nurse that once treatment was over and l was back in the normal world without constant hospital appts and everyone was carrying on with there lives and expecting us to be ok that then is the time that reality sets in.It was very true!That was when l really let my self think about it for the first time and l got very down.My diagnosis was 4yrs ago and since have heard so many others saying the same thing so dont feel its just you.I got some counselling which helped talk things thru-things not easy to talk about to loved ones who for their own sakes just want us to say we are fine.As for memory well l can identify with the this-and mine has been worse since chemo-again some seem to suffer others luckier-but it can also be cos you are preoccupied -after counselling think mines not as bad!hope this helps a bit. sharonx
I am still undergoing chemo and my memory is totally shot - if I don’t write down the things I have to do I forget and some are quite important. I have to set my alarm on my mobile so that
I remember to take my chemo tablets- just one example as I can’t remember the others. As to ‘losing it’ since I was DX in Feb this year I was coping quite well then had a really bad day just a fortnight ago - for no reason but cried all day…I am sure there will be other days like this too especially when I finish treatment as from what I can gather that is normally the case.
Hope you feel better now as you don’t sound like someone who normally weeps and wails!
X
Ditto … have to say … memory is poop, even when somebody has just said something to me …lol ! i was hoping that i might wake one day and feel half human again … and i think my partner may think this tooo… especially with the comments he has made …its hard as family act like its all over with and that life is back to normal … how long can we feel like this …
I just wanted to reassure you all that these feelings are normal, however, you might find it a great help if you give our helpline a call.
If you feel you can call them, you will find that you can in confidence about your feelings, fears and concerns and the team on the helpline are happy to talk to you or just be a listening ear if you feel you want to offload.
Breast Cancer Care are here to support you so please use us if it will help.
The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm and Saturdays 9am to 2pm. The number is free phone 0808 800 6000.
I am sure you will receive plenty of supportive, helpful posts from other users too.
Oh Tracy, poor you. I think most of us can say we have been where you are now. I was just like you on Chemo and for quite some time after (I fin fec 15 mths ago). Still get a foggy brain some days.
Regarding the clamping, years before bc this happened to me, just having a busy time with 3 young kids, work etc. I did the same, cried for days! Was so shocked as never done anything illegal before and it was a blimp. Was treated very badly by all who were just jobsworths!
Thanks so much for your replies, i didnt have many working braincells before the chemo never mind after so i dont think this is the last disaster im going to face!!!
Ive been singing and jigging around while ive been doing my filing at wrk today so i think im coming out the other end again-praise the Lord!
Holly, you’re right-i try so hard not to be a weeper and wailer - cant believe what a state i got myself into over such a silly mistake.
Irene - what are we like? Im so glad im not the only one that reacted how i did-not that im happy that you were in a state too though-i sure you know what i mean!!
I wanted to shout at the condescending jobsworths (good word!) and say they should try going through a year of chemo and rads and see how they come out at the end of it but apart from not beng able to speak for the sobbing i dont think they wouldve been interested!
I am trying to see the funny side of it-my bank manager will undoubtedly not be laughing though!
Remember all that if you have, or have HAD, cancer you are regarded as disabled under the Disability Discrimination Act 1995, and people should NOT patronise or condescend you. And chemo brain is now a recognised side effect…you have a cast iron excuse for forgetting things, and you shouldn’t be penalised for forgetting.
Oh yes, my brain is officially now mush. My best friends are notebooks and even my boss knows she has to tell me something twice or write it down. Luckily for me I have a great job and work with brilliant people who just laugh it off and hand me the next bit of paper. When my boss goes on holiday its like a volume of War and Peace thats left on my desk for me ha ha.
I am a 26 yr old man and was diagnosed almost 2 years ago with breast cancer and since then my life has been hard regarding my memory and tiredness etc…
My left arm as i speak is really hurting me because of the radical masectomy i had and i really dont know what to do anymore.
If it wasn’t for my girlfriend and the support of my mum and family i don’t know where i would be but life throws a sucker punch at you sometimes and you just got to deal with the cards thrown at you.
I have been taking tamoxifen for over a year now and my memory is so bad i forget what i was saying through a sentence which is embarrassing i can tell you lol!
Any way you’ll come through it girl coz what i learnt in my time of chemo and treatment is that you ladies have heart and a spirit not even cancer can beat
hi
i would just like to say thanks because i thought i was going mad, got diagnoised in 2005 had mastectomy and immediate reconstruction. At the time felt like i delt with it all very well only until recently began to get emotional and very down, I also feel that people think that because you have got through it you are back to what you was before… I feel you go into over drive after being diagnoised and you dont have much time to sit and think its only now…
I’m just about getting over the whole clamping fiasco now-bit upsetting though when even my closest friends have found it hilarious when i told them how stressed i was-you’re definitely right Chingford when you say people think when you’ve had your treament you should be back to how you were straight away-i suppose it;s just ignorance on their part and we shouldn’t get annoyed-easier said than done though sometimes eh?
The strange thing for me is that i find my memory is great with work stuff - im an administrator so loads to remember - it’s everything else that i’m useless at!!
Nicky, I regularly forget what im saying mid sentence and sometimes never ever remember! I forget that ive put tea on to cook if i walk away, i hear gobbledygook being spoken and then realise that its coming from my mouth!!!
Hi, Is that right what you say about us being classed as Disabled? Thats interesting to me as i have Lymphoedema as a result of the surgery/radiotherapy and was wondering if i would be eligible for a disabled parking permit? I dont want anything that im not entitled to but it would be a great help if i could park nearer to the shops as i struggle to carry heavy shopping/walk more than short distances.
If anyone has any knowledge of these things id love to hear more?
know exactly where your coming from…I was dx in jan 04, had WLE, chemo’, radio’ and now tamoxifen…my memory is awful I even forget the names of people and of children I work with…its only a momentary thing…but I feel stupid as my mind goes completely blank…I’m reknown for letting the potatoes boil dry too!!!
I feel that everyone looks at me now and they’ve forgotten about the cancer…I wish I could…I do manage to push it to the back of my mind the majority of the time…but its not easy…and I suffer terribly from anxiety/panic attacks too.
Can I jpin your scream to?? I really P*****D off with everthing at the moment and being POSITIVE all the time is tiring! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Oh feel a bit better already, just want to should out loud but don’t think neighbours would appreaciate and will wonder what on eart is goin on next door!
hi all
aint it funny the other day i was doing kids packed lunch ready for school, when i just started balling my eyes out, couldnt tell you why but once i started couldnt stop, you tell anyone else this and they think you off you head…
your so right nadia feeling positive just cant be done all the time and when people keep saying it to me i feel like punching their lights out so not only am i p…d off i will be in Holloway aswell…
I too forget mid sentance what I am saying and am terrible with names of people I have known well for years,feel such a fool,its like a total,freeze of time,and end up desperatly searching for my brain to restart ,then it all comes flooding back till the next freeze frame,really gets me down and have bawled my eyes out too at times,…scream…aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…now what was I screaming about…loadsa Love Doolally…x