I just hope he isn’t right, Jacquie, and we’re so dippy and chemo brained that we can’t find each other!! See you soon!
K x
Hi all
Not sure who will have left you - but will see you in a couple of hours. Think your son may be right, but hey, we will find each other and have a great time. Tell him not to be so cheeky!!!
Love
Dawn
x
PS. Don’t think hubby looking forward to being “Mummy” for the day! Ha Ha … do him good
I just wanted to say I hope you had a great time today.
I’ve found it really invaluable to meet other women with bc, to be able to share experiences with those who really understand and I have formed some close friendships.
I know that the forums are brilliant and can provide huge amounts of support but it really helps to be able to meet up and to put faces and voices to the names.
I expect you’re already planning the next one!
Love
Claire x
Well we did it! Great to meet up and managed to talk for four hours solid! All having an early night I reckon - I’m certainly whacked. Will post another day with more details for those who couldn’t be there.
Love Jacquie xx
Hi All
As Jacquie said, we did it, and had a great time (I think), well I enjoyed meeting them all and we did talk for 4 hours - unbelieveably!!! Was great to put faces to the names although had managed to get piccies via email at the last min so had rough idea on who looked like what!!! Even met Mr Wallace.
My dinner is now ready, kids in bed (hopefully to stay) and am off to watch the tv tonight. So will post more tomorrow Got pics too, but alas cannot post on here, but might on the other site! LOL
Take care
Love
Dawn
x
Hi All
Just want to say how great it was to meet you all! I am certainly knackered as well…son and husband are out at a gig (seeing Indie band at all ages thing) think it was a good idea and we talked and talked.
Mr Wallace is great, highly recommend him as a lunch companion.
everyone look after themselves!
love
Cathy
Hi all
It was great to meet up wasn’t it? Not surprised you’re knackered, Cathy - you went on to work! I must admit I had a snooze once I got home, and I still feel I should have an early night.
Hope your hubby survived the day, Dawn - we need him to do it again sometime before too long!
Will look forward to seeing the photos.
Lots of love
Kay x
Hi Everyone
Well what can I say … thanks for a brilliant day yesterday and it was soooooo nice to meet you all, and of course, the now infamous, Mr Wallace!!!
Hubby coped pretty much OK I think, no more new bruises to account for and seemed to be fine and quiet in control. So yes, will have to do again and get him into practice!!! Was pretty knackered when got home, but alas, no rest for me, although had soak in the bath, but decided to watch the tv and was in bed by 9.30 watching trial and retribution.
Some news this morning, got appoint. with the Prof, on Friday 1st Feb. They wanted to see me next Thursday, but am flying to Scotland, so not an option, and first day doing clinic again was the Friday (think that might be Kay’s fault actually - LOL). Appoint. at 1.45, did offer 9.45, but can you imagine, sorting out the muppets and fighting the dartford crossing and clackets to arrive by then, I don’t think so …
Anyway, been good girl this morning, Sophie at school, Jack asleep, done some ironing and now catching up on here, then off to friends who is gonna scalp Jack’s head, as his hair is a MESS!
Catch up later and will see if can post on other site the pics, although really don’t wanna post the one with me in, as now you have realised, am so not photogenic!!!
Cathy hope you OK today, cannot believe you had to go into work yesterday, hopefully you weren’t too busy and managed to get out early!!
Take care all and lots of love
Dawn
xx
Hello Ladies
Dawn - wow you have your appointment - that makes it much more real… by the way You are very photogenic and look great, post with yourself in the picture!
Actually I probably did push it a bit far, problem is muppets at work - who arent adorable, are not mine, and need a fair bit of minding. Have to try to keep them on task.
Allie - hope you have managed to get all the way back to wales and are about to be zooming around the lanes in your new mini,
One of the things that I was really struck with yesterday and this about everyone on this thread even those who weren’t with us, is how busy we all are and how much we all have to do…and how we are managing even with this illness hanging over us.
love to all
Cathy
Hi Everyone,
Feeling a bit recovered now… Just thought I’d put down some thoughts for those who couldn’t be there- in particular thinking of Jen and Tracy - so you can be there in your imagination!
Dawn and I arrived at about the same time. The waitress had already shown me to the table, so when Dawn came out of the loo I had a good idea who she was. Immediately Kay arrived and recognised Dawn from photos. We sat down and started to chat, then Cathy arrived within minutes. We ordered a drink and chatted from 11 am until 12.50, when we paused for breath and realised the time, and that Allie would be on her way soon. The place had gone from practically empty to completely full. Lots of nice men in suits (if you like that sort of thing - I do!) coming in for lunch.
Allie bounced in with Mr Wallace secreted in her bag, and we all ordered food. At 2pm Cathy had to go to work! and the rest of us had a dessert/coffee and we left at 3. Cathy, you paid too much, so we’ll buy you lunch next time.
These are my (very subjective) impressions:
I would like to put a disclaimer in that these are my chemo-brained recollections and may not bear any relevance to the facts! Please don’t sue me for defamation or censor them out (moderator?).
Dawn - blonde straight bob, lovely colour. Blue eyes. Used to work near St Pauls in several different companies. Showed us pics of her gorgeous kids - absolutely sweet. Bit curious to know how her hubby would be coping with the children all day!
Kay - tall, short blondy/silvery grey hair but very soft around the edges and feminine (not at all butch as I’m worried mine will look). Glasses. No pics of her grown kids but showed us one of her three cats on her mobile.
Cathy - Dark straight shoulder-length hair. She hasn’t lost it - I was envious - don’t know about anyone else! American accent (she grew up there altho born in England). Showed us photos of her son and is managing to keep working - even that very afternoon! as an accountant.
Allie - small but bags of energy - came on the train for three-and-a-half hours to meet us. Wearing bandana and glasses. Hubby and dentist working nearby. Has a mad cat that wakes her up in the mornings by swatting her face. Speaks with a N Wales accent which I thought was a bit liverpool-sounding.
I don’t know what their impressions were of me!
I hope this gives you a flavour, and I really hope I haven’t offended anyone with my descriptions. We had a great time. Everyone joined in talking and listening, and we covered a lot of chat about treatments, jobs, children, frivolous stuff and more serious worries.
Let’s do it again…
love to you all
Jacquie xx
Can’t add much to your excellent post Jacquie - meeting everyone was really good and we must do it again. Moments when we were close to tears and other moments when we were laughing out loud - not sure what the rest of the restaurant made of us! Particularly when Mr Wallace arrived and posed for the photo.
One thing though I can add to Jacauie’s post is my impression of her (with all the same disclaimer):
Jacquie - tallish with dark hair (normally longer). Great sense of fun (and humour) with the most wonderful smile. Showed us pics of her 3 children - her 17 year old son seems to have similar sense of humour (see her posting from yesterday morning!).
Glad you don’t think I look “butch” with my ultra-short hair, Jacquie. For those who weren’t there yesterday, I’ve made the decision to go wigless since Xmas as I have a reasonable covering (just very short compared to my norm). Couldn’t see the nurses in the High Dependency Unit in 2 weeks time prioritising putting my wig on for me!!! So thought I (and others) had better get used to my new look sooner rather than later.
Sorry Dawn about keeping the surgeon busy the week after next - he is definitely busy with me the Wednesday pm and you really mustn’t distract him! So glad you’ve got the appt - will think of you on the Friday as I lay there recovering!
We definitely need to arrange another “meet” - just give me a few weeks to recover from the surgery! New faces also always welcome…
Love to all Kay x
Glad you all had a good time…a group of us here (all secondaries ladies) meet up regularly…we’ve been meeting up for a couple of years now…I would be quite lost without my friends.
You all seem to have had a great time - I am a bit jealous but I knew that I had to go to London (tomorrow, Saturday) for my Mum’s 80th birthday treat and twice in one week is just too much, maybe next time?
Glad you all had such a good day.
Blondie
Hi all,
I got back to wet Wales last night but I was absolutely shattered after our meet up then going out on the town with hubby that night. Went to sort out new mini this morning only to find that incompetent insurance company hadn’t included cover note:( no zipping around the country lanes for me until that comes through! Spent yesterday morning at the V&A, did a lot of walking but it was lovely to go around again. Glad you all enjoyed Mr Wallace’s company he does get bored on his plinth in the staircase!
Have to agree with all of Jacksy’s commentary of the event, though I’ve nver thought of me as sounding like a Scouser!
Dawn-good luck with your appointment, thats come through very quickly.
Kay- can’t wait to have the same length hair as you so I can stop wearing bandanas
Anyway I’m off to make some muffins in a minute, still think Channel Islands would be a great next meetup point, MR Wallace hasn’t been there yet!
Allie
Hi Everyone,
Glad you’re all OK and have recovered a bit. Dawn - great news about your appt. You must be pleased to be cracking on with it. Glad your OH survived. You didn’t mention whether he enjoyed it!! Yes Kay, I thought your hair was lovely and soft/feminine, so i’m not so worried now about the moment i decide to go wigless. Won’t be for a while yet tho - the back’s taking a lot longer to get going than the top/sides. (Don’t want to look like a girl from the front and a guy from the back!).
Allie - can’t believe they missed out the cover note. What a pain. You must be busting a gut to get behind the wheel, you’ve waited so long already. Maybe the rain will have stopped when you get to drive it… Liverpool comment more to do with my bad ear for accents than the way you speak! Must be something to do with being rubbish at geography.
Blondie, I hope you know you’d be most welcome next time.
Cathy I’ve been thinking about what you said about us all being busy - I think two things - a) we’re women and just have to get on with it all and b) I don’t know about anyone else but I seem to get more invites out now than before - lots of friends/work colleagues think up nice outings, or invite me along to stuff, and I’m taking them all up as i think - enjoy myself while the going’s good!
Strangely I’ve had the urge to bake today as well, Allie - flapjacks, lasagne and a chocolate pudding for tomorrow Mmmmm. Haven’t done any for so long.
I’ve emailed pics from Thursday to everyone who was there. If anyone has anyone else’s email address feel free to circulate them.
Hope you’re all having a restful weekend. We’re watching The Bodyguard tonight - I’ve wanted to see it again for years so gave it to my teenage daughter in her xmas stocking!
I’ll be singing along and embarrassing the kids.
Love to all
Jacquie xxx
Hi all,
It sounds as though you all had a great time, as I knew you would.
I have met with Belinda and others at various times and these occasions have been life-affirming (speaking as someone with a terminal disease). I don’t want to bring anyone down, but just want BCC to read and understand how extremely important it is for women in this position to be able to meet with others who understand what it is to wake everyday with the knowledge that you are dying. How inspired do the women who met this week sound, after meeting up? Amazing! I know this is harping on a very worn-out theme but, it means more to us in the long run, to be able to meet - face to face - than just being able to chat here (with the rest of the world watching). If only there were a means to make this easier to achieve, without having to resort to signing up to third-party web sites. This is still my main, major, criticism of this web site, as the leading British Breast Cancer charity - the lack of ability to contact each other.
I hope you ladies are busy organising your next meeting and are not put off by my gripes - I applaud your determination to get together. I know how hard this can be to organise, how tiring to achieve, but how very, very rewarding.
Love Jenny
xx
Well said, Jenny!!
I actually much prefer this site compared to the other one - BUT it does lack the one-to-one chat. I know that it offers alternatives but they are really not quite the same iykwim. I dont mean to offend anyone by this comment - from either site.
Having recently had a baby, I am a member of one of the mum’s sites - we can post threads as we can here, we can private message each other- without anyone seeing, we can ‘live chat’ whenever we want, we have profiles where our information can be seen if we so wish. I just wish that BCC could do this too?? We have just organised our own meet-up too.
Whilst having my bisphosphonate IV in December, I was sat next to a lady who I had seen in the waiting room several times - we’d acknowledged each other but never really spoken. Anyway, we both looked at each others infusions and realized that we were both on Zometa. How wonderful to have someone real to talk to - in exactly the same boat. January’s IV, we made a bee-line for each other - to discuss each others rollercoaster stories. How different we are though! I want to stand on my soap-box to make primary dxs aware of secondaries - yet my new-found friend wants to camouflage herself and not scare them!!
My husband and I were having a bit of a discussion/row/debate the other day - he said how we are all dying. I quite agreed with him BUT I said there is a difference, I am confirmed dying. People, try as they might, just cant appreciate how difficult it is for us - and, that’s why I think that these sites are so important. We need them, we need each other and we need each other’s experiences.
Apologies to the ladies on ‘Anyone else with liver secondaries’ as I seem to have gone off on a tangent and should’ve started a new thread - sorreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
I think its brill that you all met - but I am not confident enought to get to London but dont rule anything out!
Lots of love
Anne xx
Hi Everyone
Hope you are all OK and doing well, and having great weekend, although the weather is pants!!!
Anne and Jenny, I know what you mean. We were saying at lunch how much nicer it would have been to be able to organise a meet, without the world and his wife knowing about it, not that it mattered to us, as more the merrier, but it seems that on this site, not being able to swap email address limits the best support any of us can find, and that is face to face, talking, laughing, crying and cuddling each other in person and comforting each other. It was so so nice to meet the other ladies and each of us in our own way are inspirational to the other, and I think it might have helped all of us to meet up like that and actually chat openly about our lives and what we are going through and not feel guilty and know that any comments were actually “proper” ones if that makes sense, as each knew what the others were going through.
Anyway, Jacquie, your description of us all was spot on and Kays of you was too. I agreed with all of it, so well done to you.
I have been out today and bought a new wig. Am no longer blonde, OMG!!! I tried on 6 different ones, 4 were blonde and 2 auburny with blond highlights. I had been in the other day with the two muppets and tried a really nice blonde bob,but it was not there today. So, after trying them all on, and one about 5 times, I settled on an auburn highlighted blonde bob, and really liked it, but am now having my doubts. Will try to get piccy and email to you all.
Have got Tracy1964’s email too, so will forward that too you all as well.
Take care all, don’t work too hard all of you at work, and I will try not to let the kids run me ragged!!! Off to Scotland Thursday for 4 days, but will speak before then.
Take care
Love
Dawn
xx
Anne - we will see you in London one day I promise!!! Or maybe nearer to where you live, I think we are all willing to travel …
Hi All, Where is everyone tonight? Threre must be something good on telly (that I’m missing!).
Anne and Jenny, just feel free about commandeering our thread! No, I agree with you totally. I just hope the moderator’s listening…
Where are you Anne? We’re keen to expand our horizons (esp if you’re in the Bahamas or somewhere).
Phew! I’m glad you seem to agree with my summary of our meet. I was a bit scared in case I offended anyone or you never spoke to me again. Also had to be a bit guarded in wot I said as it’s so open here.
Dawn, your wig sounds great, bet you look amazing. Def want to see pics. I’ve recently met a lady who wears wigs all the time, as she just likes changing her style regularly. Has never needed to wear one, just finds it convenient and fun.
Well, we had a bit of a busy weekend. Had some friends visit from Norfolk (where we used to live) and went to see London Community Gospel Choir at St Albans Abbey (free!). Wow it just takes your breath away. The volume when they raise their voices - it reverberates through you. They had everyone up and singing/clapping. Brilliant.
Back at work again today. There’s plenty to do admin-wise, but I’ve started booking children in for appts in a couple of weeks, then I’ll really know I’m back! I’ve been wondering if my recent experiences will change the way I treat the children/families. I think I’m more aware of how difficult it is to take in information when you feel anxious. I’ll probably go a bit slower when explaining things to parents, and leave more pauses. Try to guage how they’re taking it in before I proceed.
Anyway, hope you’re all OK, off for a cup of tea and watch the box for a bit
lots of love
Jacquie xx
Hi jacquie,
i am here just logged in and read through the recent comments. Totally agree with everything that was said here. Its completely different dealing with a secondary diagnosis. Also read the post from Lara C husband, I really really think that there should be specific support for younger women with secondaries,
Anne - found your post very thoughtful, people just can’t appreciate what it is like to be in this situation even though many people know people who have been through it…a few close friends have been fantastic but the majority of people talk alot of nonsense!
It was great meeting everyone and the pictures were good too! Showed my husband just a minute ago (thanks jacquie!!) and I think he was able to see what this meeting could mean. Would love to do it again and anyone from this site who couldn’t make it last time - well it would be good to see you at the next. Also thought both summaries were spot on!
We went to Paris for Saturday Sunday and monday. I amazed myself with my stamina- walked all the way around the Center of Paris, through the Pompidou centre and went up in a ferris wheel right in the middle of paris. My son absolutely loved that bit! he was appropriately terrified at the top as was I. It was really great to get away and a bit of a morale booster for my scan next week. Now I am knackered, and tons to do at work in the afternoon tomorrow,
Dawn- Wig sounds good look forward to the pictures, don’t tire yourself out completely in Scotland.
Everyone take care ,
love
Cathy