Liz may be its his way of coping.trying keep everthing the way it was.Just he hurting deep down may be fear he going lose you.So he pushes you away so not to get hurt.Hope all will be ok in time hugs xx
Hmm… it’s a bit like the alternative approach to curing snoring.
Take yourself off to the quack because you snore very loudly, expecting all sorts of treatment for it. Prescription: a pair of earplugs. “Why’s that then?” you ask. “How will earplugs stop me snoring?” “They won’t,” replies the doctor, “but give the earplugs to your partner and the snoring will no longer be a problem.”
Same kind of thing here - your OH’s behaviour may not change one iota, but with the help of counselling your response to it will, until it is no longer a problem.
The REAL work of counselling is done in between sessions (as you have discovered), so I’m glad you were able to ask for the space that YOU need to do the work (and it IS work!) There’s so much else for us to cope with/think about/get through, needing a bit more space seems quite reasonable to me! Jane
Hi CM
Yes that’s the theory exactly but it takes a long time to get to that stage and it’s a long hard road. I think I’m getting there now. It’s a journey that I shouldn’t have to make really, I don’t deserve the treatment I’ve received, but needs must, s**t happens. I’m not on my own there are quite a few on this forum in similar situations. It’s very sad.
Jane. Yes it is very hard work but it as to be done. I find now that I’m a different person in that my attitudes have changed, I’m still the same underneath. I look back to pre BC days and it seems like another life.
Hey ho. Onwards and upwards. Grit and determination to those dealing with troublesome partners.
J xxx
Hi everyone,
thank you so much for your comments and advice,
I have made my partner look like a right monster, he has stood by me through all of my treatment, been to every appointment with me, and looked after the house and children,
but now my treatment has finished its just BUMP being expected to just carry on as normal,
now I am asking myself, “what else am I supposed to do”, my partner is a very outspoken and down to earth practical type of person, he says things as they are, and always has been the same, maybe its just me, having taking a battering from this bc, and all the treatment, now left feeling vunerable and insecure,
I now realise that if I let the depression take over, and carnt try to get back to being something like I was before, then things are only going to go from bad to worse, it is down to me,
once again to be able to come on here, not be judged or anything like that, to be able to look at it all from a different angle, and just to be able to say whats on your mind is fantastic, thank you all so much for your support.
Love Liz xxx