Hi All
Went for 2 year mammogram last Friday and had the usual hysteria before I went.
Thankfully it was fine but I was not as elated as I thought I would be. I just thought - it’s ok now but that doesn’t mean it wil be next year.
It’s like nothing reassures me anymore - anyone feel like this or am I just neurotic??!
Love to all
Alise
Hi Alise
I think it’s normal to experience what you’re feeling - I think for most women going for scans, mammograms, etc. is quite stressful because it’s the ‘what if’ feeling.
My only piece of advice (?!) is that none of us know what’s around the corner and, as one elderly lady told me (who was 17 years down the road) what a waste of time it would have been if she had worried about her breast cancer coming back all those years and not really enjoying her life and it’s always stayed with me, even though I now have secondaries but I still enjoy my life.
I don’t think the anxiety ever totally disappears but as time goes from the initial diagnosis things do get better.
Just remember - you’re not neurotic but normal!
Pinkdove
x
Dear Alise
About a year after my mastectomy I went, via the GP, for an examination at the hospital on another lump I had found in the same breast. I was sent for a scan and mammogram. Fortunately the radiologist was able to confirm that it was a tiny part of my implant that had squeezed through from behind the muscle causing the appearance/feel of a lump. When I told a friend that everything was okay she said, ‘Oh, you must have such a sense of relief!’ Actually, although I was obviously glad that it wasn’t anything serious, I didn’t really experience that great feeling of relief. I think I had been quite successful in keeping myself calm at the time, but afterwards it hit me how worried and stressed I’d been and I felt very upset and emotional for a few days. People who’ve not been in these types of situations do not always understand.
Best wishes, Timetraveller
Dear Alise and Timetraveller,
I have just had the same experience. Just 9 weeks after finishing treatment (mastectomy, chemo and RX) I found what I felt was a lump under my armpit. I had just been told by my consultant that he didn’t think it was worth having recon., as my prognosis was too bleak (thanks!) so I was seriously worried. Turned out to be just fluid, but instead of feeling elated (which I did for about an hour) I found myself so depressed. It just feels as though I am living with a time bomb that I never know when its going to go off. I joke and make light of everything for family & friends, but all I think about is if the cancer will come back. Every ache or pain sets me wondering. Am I mad? I am usually such an optimist, but secretly I am just expecting the worst, and I sometimes think I will go crazy with fear.
Does it get better with time?
Love Annie
im now nearly 2 yrs post diognosis and treatments, yesterday i went for my 3 mnth check up and mentioned that my right boob was giving me pain, well i have to have a c t scan in the next few weeks and again im feeling worried and scared that iys come back as i was warned that with my type of cancer (lobular) it was likely to be found in my other breast, is it come back ? or have i just been really over cautious with odd aches and pains/ it feels like a lump of fluid but it aches if that makes sense, i had mammogram before i was diognosed that didnt show up anything and in fact it was only by having core biopsy my first lat of cancer was picked up and then i had a 6 cm area when i had my op! so im definately worried about it coming back . i think everyone who has been through this will know what im feeling at the moment. i know i can beat it i have before its just the thought of going through it all again with all the ups and downs . still untill im told yes or no i will carry on as usual , but inside crying !!! lynn x