Thanks Lisaf, just about to leave now for the first TAX so glad to hear you coped and getting better after a week. Pain doesn’t sound nice, but glad you weren’t feeling sick. What drugs did you take for the pain, and how many days in did the pain start to hit?
Yeah, full-on flirting very good for the soul right now. And very safe since really we are both (mostly) happily married with kids, just happen to get on well. Even if I wasn’t in a relationship already I don’t think I could actually ‘do’ anything about it. My OH said I looked like a ‘mermaidy dolphin with the face of a ginger tabby’ without clothes on - wouldn’t want to inflict that on a new lover! LOL!
good luck with it, hope its gone well. Pain started day after few hours after injection, have reaction to steroids but had that anyhow and a bit weepy but managed to go back to work today and managing a few wines tonight! hope it goes well. took all the anti-sickness, steroids and antibiotics, also took paracetomal for pain for few days.
Hi Lisaf - TAX Wednesday, Friday am now. OK so far! No pain, just tingly feet, and inability to sleep even though i feel exhausted by 8pm. Could be the steroids - they make me weepy too.
So far much better than FEC and lovely not to be feeling so sick and rotten. Will see how it goes . . . . .
Good for you getting back to work. I have booked next week off but plan a full week the week after.
Glad it went okay, did you get injection in stomach - this is what caused my pain but my white bloods are usually 1.7 ish on day 10, friday they were 28.4??? still very weepy but now afte rht pain as eased so much better than the sickness on fec!!!
its wierd how its different isnt it. I have the same steriods and antibiotics for 10 days. They gave me so injection in the tummy day after which is apparently what they give people if they get infections or bloods too low - we get it and it boosts your white blood count and this is what causes all the pain - so hopefully you wont get the pain. Id been so good but been an emotional wreck last day or two, scared about whats coming up in terms of treatment as so scared of Ops, had to drag me in for my masectomy!! also think its holiday and baby time and both getting to me, on the other hand we should enjoy the time we dont feel ill!!!
Steroids for 10 days! It is strange how much treatment differs. I only had them for 3, and even then at a reduced dose on day 1 and 3.
Also have no idea how bloods and whatever are doing - was not told at any time during FEC.
I think the emotional effects are the hardest to cope with. However nice people are we really go through this alone, and it’s incredibly hard. What operation are you worried about if you’ve already had your mast? I had a mastectomy too, and lymph node removal at the same time (3 out of 5 affected). I was so glad the surgeon could see the nodes were affected and removed them there and then. I would have hated going back in to have them removed - must be very depressing.
Holiday time for me too. My boys (10, 8, 6) are at my parents til Wednesday. They will behaving a great time and it’s nice to have the peace and quiet, but in a way it’s all too quiet - just alone with my thoughts while husband at work. Just so FED UP with the whole thing now.
Hopefully you will be feeling much more normal now. I’ve lost track a bit - I had first TAX last Wednesday - are you a whole week ahead of me?
Doh, sorry, steroids 3 days (which I mucked up), antibotics for 10 days!!! We dont get any scans up here so Im terrified its spread as had a bit of back pain, nothing major! But we do get our bloods checked on day 10 when at lowest and an appointment with the woman who works for the ONC as you only see him once (thank god), its quite good as it reassures you that its on track!
Defo emotional bit the worst, Im better whilst in the middle of it but get so worked up about next stages etc. and hit downer every now and again as feel so alone when I know Ive got fab mates and family but being widowed does make me feel so lonely some times when I could just do with a big hug and someone to tell me it will be okay.
Holiday time - hope its nice where you live, Im in Cumbria and its sunny for a change so when I get home from work wil be having a walk with dog and tyring to keep busy, sitting around is the worst isnt it, I came back to work. I ended up having masectomy too in the end and decided to remove all my lymp nodes reomoved as had a lump under arm too, but in end only 1 node affected and tissue surrounding it (not sure what this means). after my rads they are going to surgically remove my overies due to a family history of overian cancer - terriefed of hospitals a big wuss and until I went in for masectomy had never been in before and terriefed of needles too. its all scary to me as realise I’;ll never have kids and worried this bit will hit me hard as all my friends by 2 have kids and are planning more so its another thing that makes you feel different, everyone planning their future etc.
But, we just dont know, hopefully we will beat this and enjoy the rest of our lives. Ive been cheered up a bit as my dad and his brothers have decided to have their legs waxed in a few weeks to raise money for the chemo unit I go to - had fit of giggles last night as they are terrrifed already, some little things just take your mind off it and I am a whole week in front of you and determined to enjoy the run up to the next one and try not to think about it as Im not letting it spoil my good weeks. Hope you are feeling a little better, its amazing what a difference a whole week makes. Hope you enjoy getting your boys back, they will keep you busy but try not to do so much!
Do you find out what your bloods are on chemo day, I always have a sneaky look, I think my white blood cells go back up to about 8 but day ten as low as 0.7, but the injection has boosted it up to 28 on day 10. They asked me if I wanted to inject it myself - as if… ooopps better get back to work, 20 mins to go!!!
xx
Lisa it sounds to me like you are doing incredibly. I know we have no choice, but I think you have spirit and humour and it will help you I’m sure.
Feel for you about the kids thing. Not that having kids makes it easier I don’t think - my main worry about dying is leaving motherless children and how will they cope, not being around to see them grow up etc. In my darker moments I’ve even thought about sort of ‘detaching’ myself from them incase the worse happens - at least if I’m a bad mother they won’t miss me so much! A colleague of my husband is about 6 months ahead of me in treatment, she is my age (37) no children, and she is finding the resulting infertility very difficult to deal with. I guess it’s difficult for everyone - just different for everyone too.
Thought of spreading is horrendous. I’ve just had my appointment through for my annual review in April, dreading it already. Something else to live with. Like you apparently there was some spread from the nodes affected. but I haven’t seen this in the path report I’ve looked at - it was just scribbled down on a bit of paper by the BC nurse who had spoken to the surgeon who had spoken to the pathologist! Have meant to ask the onc about this, but it’s a mix of not wanting to know or have more bad news, and also really not having the time. I have only met the onc once too. By the way, the surgeon also told me the lump was 0.5cm bigger and that all 5 of 5 nodes were affected! He didn’t have my notes with him when I spoke to him, obviously. And although I’ve since got it straight, it’s very hard not to somehow believe that the initial diagnosis was true.
So the whole business messes with your head - I hope you are being kind to yourself and not expecting too much.
No comfort I’m sure - but at least with ovarian removal you know everything possible is being done. As far as I know I’m just going to be on tamoxifen or whatever. To be honest, would prefer the ovarian removal - as far as I’m concerned the less oestrogen the better.
I live in North Wales, near Anglesey. Wish I had a dog - am enjoying (well, as much as I can!) going for long walks at the moment and really need a dog.
Very very best wishes - enjoy your ‘well’ week. After the next one you are nearly there.
Thanks for that - dont think its easier either way. Some people have scans and some dont, part of me wants them and part of me doesnt as maybe better I dont know - oh I dont know. Think its difficult either way but Im just terrified of Ops but like to say getting them out is one less worry, just hope not going through all this for nothing. Think I mihgt be going on Armidex which is being used more but they seem to have side effects. Rads next and think Im getting it under my arm cos of the probable other nodal spread, which increases the risk of lymphodema - roll on eh! Hopefully we will get it all out of the way and have a nice Xmas and look forward and enjoy many more years to come! Sometimes I feel soo normal it freaks me out that its actually happening.