Hi Flaxhigh… if you get a chance, go on the “Young Women’s Forum” run by Breast Cancer Care… everyone is under 45 and have all shared similar experiences. Well worth it… I was very apprehensive about going, but got a lot out of it… there will be details of them on this website.
Good luck with the treatment…
AliS
I have inflammatory breast cancer and it was my daughter helping me shower that spotted the overly pink bit, I never remeber dates but thats was feb5th this year. I am due next week for 5th dose of chemo. I live near the school and lots of kids know me so i have not hidden it and dont wear a wig either. In fact one evening one kid brought 9kids round to see my bauld head. I feel i have an abligation to them as they all know me for it not to be such a scarey thing even though it is. I dont want future generations to walk across the other side of the street because they dont know what to say. My daughter knows everything and has even come with me to see my surgeon, but she also plans to be dr one day herself. Yes breast cancer is terible and scares us and i know i have a really bad type being eostrogen and her negative,but I need to try to stay positive hence coming here to find a friend with the same but i just joined today. kids handle it better than we excpect and honesty is fairer. My daughter knows this may at some point take her mum away but she told a boy at school who asked are you not scared about your mum dying and she replied I will be upset at first but i know god wil take care of me . I am a single mum and my daughter knows where she would go and everything that wopuld happen and that the last song at my funeral is hey hey we are the monkeys. i want people to laugh and cry. sorry got distracted I think kids deal better with honesty than hiding it from them children round here have accepted it and talk to me about it more than adults but I live in a small vilage so maybe thats why its easier May God guide you lesley anne
Thanks all for your comments. So sorry Lesley Anne for what you’re going through
Sending thoughts and love
L
I had my rads, Taxotere and first 4 Herceptins done at the Western General in Edinburgh. The Maggie’s Centre is just behind Ward 1 where they do chemo. I used to sit by the window overlooking the little garden at the Maggie’s Centre as it was so pretty and peaceful when I was having my treatment. I have one at a hospital near me now. I was in a group there for a few weeks and it was great. You can go in and make a cup of tea or coffee and they have loads of resources - I found books and leaflets I hadn’t seen before, very useful.
hi there
im not in edingbrough sorry im from weston super mare in england. i was diagnosed in september, i have a five year old and 22 mth old and boy itshardwork, im on tacchemo now and im finding it a struggle but thankfully i have fairly supportive partner and a great support network of friends who help out.
do u have any help with the kids at all? macmillan can provide grants to help with things such as childcare upto 400 and i think if i remember rightly your allowed upto two in a year. ive had one already and im thinking of applying for another as things have hit the roof money wise bang on christmas as the council have messed up with the rent and took over ayear to tell us so we are now in arrearsnot much but enough for it to affect our christmas.
i advise you look into it you have had this mentioned to you i dont know. the kids as well can help pull you through even though it is such hard work, hang in there and try and kep your chin up and think positive.
good luck and i hope to chat soon xx
Yes, it is SUCH hard work with wee ones. Last week when I had my dx, I could hardly bear to play with my beautiful boys as I felt so sad. I’m still filled with utter doom, but I think it is just the shock and the fear for the unknown future. Will know for sure what is what once the mastectomy is done on 11th December. It is hard to muster the energy with the kids though at the moment simply because I can’t sleep or eat! And let’s face it small kids are knackering at the best of times!
Love,
L
Hi,
I was wondering how you’ve been getting on. I AM in Edinburgh! I feel I have had very good care so far up at the Western, so I hope you managed to get more information and support before your surgery. I’m 29 and have a six year old girl and an eighteen month old son. I have been quite open with my daughter, as she is very interested in “how your body works”. I am at the start of this: DCIS, grade 2, I’m having a lumpectomy on Monday - I think I’m more scared about going under a general anesthetic than anything else at the moment - how silly. I’ll find out two weeks later if I need any treatment and I’ve also been advised to have a double mastectomy (and reconstruction if I want it). I can’t get my head around this major surgery, but it is due to my family history plus getting this so young… So, as I don’t know exactly what’s happening, I’ve just told my daughter that I’m having an operation because I’ve got something called breast cancer. I’ve described it as cells that grew too quickly and formed a lump that needs to be taken out. I saw a really good analogy on this forum talking about a fruit bowl and when a piece of fruit goes bad you remove it - that just made sense to me and my daughter. She wanted to feel the lump and asked a couple of questions. She’s been a bit upset since - she says she doesn’t want me to have an operation. I know kids are resilient, but she’s been through the wringer the last couple of years, so I do worry about her - she’s not quite the confident girl she used to be, but hopefully she will be one day again. I was able to re-assure her that Grandma had exactly the same thing as mummy 15 years ago and has been fine ever since. My mum had 5 of us aged 1-12 at the time, so I keep reminding myself if she coped, so can I. I was all big and brave at first and then I had a few really dark days. I’m lucky enough to have a great extended family that are rallying round. Even when you feel okay, you can’t get it off your mind - it’s all consuming. Get in touch if you feel like it, I was wondering if there might be another young mum in Edinburgh… I might see you up at the Western!
Jeda
Hi,
just realised my shorthand didn’t make sense: I have DCIS and invasive NST. Although I’ve told pretty much everyone, I still can’t quite believe I have breast cancer!
Dear Jeda,
I have just posted a message to you on the other thread where you wrote to me. SORRY to have missed being able to wish you luck and give you some reassurance about going under the dreaded anaesthetic - I haven’t been on this site for a while. But you will have been under by now and are probably home!
I do hope it all went well. Poor you - definitely NOT FAIR at 29. (I got ill at 23 with a chronic illness so I do know how hard it is to be YOUNG and ill) I’m 42 so not that young but it is all relative. Certainly, when you go to your appointments at the Western, you are surrounded by a lot of much older women and that’s at my age! Gosh, I wonder if you were in the waiting room at the same time as me? I HATE that waiting room. You can taste the stress in there. Everyone is very stoic though, except me. I was always blubbing!
As I said in my other thread, my kids are 2 and 5. I told my 5 year old I was having my breast off as I felt he would notice (!) and he was really upset. I didn’t realise he would be that upset. But now, both of them have seen the scar and everything and are fine. My youngest just points and repeats what I told him which was that my breast was ‘broken’ and he just wanted reassurance that his wasn’t broken!! So I was able to explain that he didn’t and wouldn’t have breasts!!! They are so wonderful kids, aren’t they?
But I do feel for you with young children as it makes the whole experience particularly difficult because all you can think of is them…it’s all about the kids…
Sorry, what is NST? I had widespread high-grade DCIS but no spread to lymph nodes and they say they couldn’t find any invasion in the breast so I’m not even on Tamoxifen though I am still querying that one. Not that I want to go on it, mind.
I’m thinking very much about you. Who are you seeing by the way? I’m seeing Mr Chetty who is lovely.
Much love and strength and please tell me how you are doing,
Linda
Hi Flaxhigh,
I dont have kids but got my chemo at WG and still attend there for secondaries treatment. Although I dont have kids of my own, my nephew knows all about what treatment im on and what happens next if they stop working. Its good that you are being open and honest with your kids.
Wish you luck
Kate