Good morning
Feeling a bit better today as the effects wear off and the energy starts to return. Thanks for that idea with the cotton gloves. i searched my draws knowing i had a set of the cotton socks from an old christmas present and am now trying them in the hope the sore feet will feel more comfortable. Should have thought of that but chemo brain had me concentrating on the problem and not the solution.
Hope everyone enjoys the sunshine and has a stress free day
So glad you’re feeling better, Christine. I hope the socks work for your sore feet.
It was a long day for you, Michelle, but it’s good news that it went well. I hope you stay clear of the viral infection (and any other infection). The people who say “halfway through” are trying to be encouraging but no one who has not been through chemo really knows about it.
I’ve had to accept that most of my days include a lot of time resting in bed, especially during chemo week.
Glad you are feeling better Christine and your energy levels are starting to return. I am feeling pretty tired, yesterday I walked my dog then slept from 11-4 and still went to bed at 9. I have an injection the day after chemo for the white blood cells and this really gives me the aches but that is easing off now. I have kept a note of all my side effects and the day they appear and there is a pattern. Although now I have changed to T things are slightly different. But it does help knowing some things only last a day or two.
How is everyone else getting on? I hope everyone is ok x
You are right Dorabel we have to listen to our bodies and rest when we need to, I am especially tired in the first week but still getting my walk in every day so pleased about that. It’s my piece of normality when I meet with friends for a chat, it really helps me get through the week.
Hi all
Hope you are ok this morning. I’m looking for a reality check. Been feeling low for days, so accept the problem is me. Had a supposed-to-be supportive phone call last night that left me feeling smacked. Said I was feeling low & got a lot of “oh poor you”s down the phone but call quickly ended. It seems that if I can’t put on the happyface then it’s not ok. I can’t do happyface all the time and I thought that was all right to be down if that how I feel. Not so, it seems.
Oh Dorabel sorry to hear you are feeling low, it can be so difficult to get up from that place. The problem is other people don’t know how to cope or what to say and actually when I am down there isn’t a lot that can be said to make me feel any better. In my choir we sing a song that was written by cancer patients, I find a relate to this part particularly
Some words can wound me; some words can mar
Some words are hurtful; some words can scar
When I am angry or at times when I feel weak
Please just be with me no need to speak
So just say nothing
There’s nothing to say
When words are empty
Just throw them away
I think the point we are at with chemo seems like such a long road at the moment. Bits of us are started to feel broken and yet we are not halfway through leaving us wondering how we can cope with the next ?? Weeks. But we can and we will get through this one way or another because we don’t have another option. My oncologist said to me on my last visit that in a years time I won’t remember half of this. At this point I can only hope that a) in a years time I have had a positive outcome b) that I have been able to move on with my life again.
I don’t know if you read any of the other threads on here but when I first started chemo I read the Jan thread. I had to stop reading it because they were a few months down the track and it seemed to be problem after problem which began to worry me. However they now have either finished chemo or on their last cycle and I find reading their posts makes me realise they had their problems with chemo but have come out the other side and that I can do it to. It’s not going to be easy but taking it a day at a time and remeber that the low feelings will pass. We can do this, we have to xx
Now this really has helped, Michelle, especially the rhyme. Thank you for your kindness and understanding. I think what stung with the call I mentioned was that this is someone with whom I have spent a lot of time, sitting and listening (and never once saying poor you, which is as empty as it comes).
You’re absolutely right about forgetting the details of the grind through chemo. I know the first weeks after diagnosis were the worst but can remember little of what happened. It’s the same with surgery. This current little glitch will fall behind. I’m already feeling better. I’ll feel even better after my chemo walk this afternoon.
Hope your day is going well. Thank you for finding the time to write your lovely message. xx
Must be something in the air as i am having a strange low day today too. I even shead a few tears reading those messages. It is difficult to express the way we feel as we are supposed to be positive all the time but some times we can’t be. It is just something to get through and i hope we all feel able to put it all down here as we are all here to help each other through.
My best friends passed away last year and i know she would have been the one i would have turned to for help so that makes me miss her even more. Life goes on for the rest of us and i am sure in a few months we will be coming put the other side but at the moment life seems rubbish.
Lovely to read all your messages and thank you for the support you have given. i will read a few other threads as you suggested and hope the end of chemo and surgery will seem closer.
xxx
So pleased you are feeling a little better Dorabel, and hopefully better still after your walk. Tomorrow is another day.
Going through this really does highlight how our friends and family cope with stuff like this. Some of my friends have been amazingly supportive and manage to say the right thing at the right time, others give the usual stay positive stuff or just empty words usually by text, and others have barely contacted me during this time. I guess it is hard to understand how they feel and quite honestly I don’t have the emotional energy to spare worrying about it but it is harder when they are unhelpful and closer friends.
Today has been an ok day for me so I am glad that I have helped with those feeling down as I know that the lows can hit at anytime and it could be me tomorrow x
Hi
2018 a year that is changing me a lot
I am here for me I am an amazing tower of strength
I cry for me but not for the past that is behind me now
I endure for me I am scared then I am brave
I look forward but I can’t run yet I have to walk (a bit slower than before)
I save my energy for the things I feel I need to do
I love hanging out on my garden swing seat and reading your comments
I know I will get through this
I am in treatment (not fighting or on a journey)
I know I have to be patient with myself
I forgive those who are moving away from me and I step aside so they can pass but they are already behind me
I treat myself and prepare myself for treatment
I research and question and look for answers to help me prepare for the scary bits
I accept my limitations and enjoy the new microcosmic space I inhabit
I laugh a lot at my attempts to create headwear
I kind of love the temporary lopsidedness of my body
I always worry my posts are too long
Gigix
Hi
some one asked me the other day if I was spiritual and I said I was poetic. So I wrote a poem. Hope you don’t mind.
Very very tired from work but still enjoying it. Port in at 11.30 on Friday 25th and then will get the shuttle bus to the other hospital for chemo so will only be one week behind my original planned chemo. Still nervous about the port but all my questions have been answered.
Big hugs Gx
Gigi I love it, you have brought tears to my eyes. Don’t ever think your posts are too long.
Your strength always shines through x
Awh Michelle thank you xx
Loved your words Gygi. just copyed them into a word document as an inspiration.
Hope all goes well and thank you for making me think in different ways about things
Thanks Christine, hope tomorrow is a good day x
I’m going to do the same and copy it where I can read it again x
You guys inspired me! Wrote it as a reply to your comments. Very honoured thank you.
All the best for tomorrow Gygi. i am sure it will run to plan as they must do this hundreds of times. It takes a little while to get used to but I am sure you will be glad once it has been done and that is one less worry.
All the best to everyone else going for yet another round of chemo. One more to cross of the list.
x
Hope today went well Gygi.
I’m off to do cookery with Sue Perkins tomorrow! She’s involved with a project called Life Kitchen which offers free cookery classes for people going through cancer treatment. She tweeted that there were places on one near Chester tomorrow so I emailed them and got in! They do them all over so do look them up. Only thing is tomorrow is being filmed for the One Show!
Also just realised I’m ahead of myself so wishing you all the best for tomorrow Gygi xx