At my wits end

I am not usre where to start I am a bit of a mess, 2 and a half years ago I had a leaking nipple with a large hard lump above it which was causing it to invert. I went to see a specialist who said not to worry he was sure it was all ok and as I was pregnant to come back when i had baby for a biopsy. Silly me did not return partially through fear some I just couldnt find the time. Time has passed and 2 1/2 years on I started to get very ill, run down and sick my gp referred me back again, and this time i am absoulutely scared stiff. I went today on my own I just couldnt face making small talk or having to tell someone what was going on, I just sat there in silence for 4 hours going over and over things I had an ultrasound the doc said it did not show a cyst or lump so thats good news but there is definately a large lump, (what on earth is it?)she wants me back for a mamogram im only 32 and its quite unusual she said for me to need one at my age. I also have to have a biopsy. I just dont know which way to turn, I am trying to hold down a full time job and juggle 4 children on top of all this worry, I worry about having time off or getting to appointments and what if it is the worst what will my family do I am the only one who earns a wage, I feel like there is so much responsibility on my shoulders I am going to burst…

hi silkrug

I’m sorry you are having such an anxious time.

I think everyone on this forum will understand how you feel. I think you have to try to take one day at a time and not let your mind run away with you. Certainly easier said than done but you do have to try.

You say ‘what if’ well what if not? The point is that you don’t have any concrete evidence of anything and you have to hang on to that thought.

Having biopsies and mammos is unpleasant but it’s good that things are being investigated thoroughly.

It would help if you can confide in someone. Do you have a good friend who would listen? Just to be able to speak your fear out to someone else is such a release.

I do hope all goes well for you. You will get so much help and support on here so keep posting.

Much love and huge hugs to you

Jan xx

hi silkrug
So sorry to hear you are having such a stressful time. I think there is a helpline here you can ring, one of the moderators will probably post very soon to explain.
Perhaps you can explain a bit more about timing. When will the biopsy be done, and when will you get the results? The waiting is very upsetting. Very likely there is some other explanation, but even if it is cancer, survival rates are very high these days. Also the treatment is not as bad as you might fear, in fact I managed to work all the way through with only a few day’s break from time to time, so don’t assume that everything in your life will come to a halt even if the news is not good.
Keep posting and there will be lots of women here soon to make helpful suggestions
Sarah

Hi silkrug

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums. It sounds like you’re having a really worrying time at the moment. As Sarah has mentioned BCC do have a helpline you can all and it may help just to talk to one of our trained members of staff. Sometimes just talking things through and sharing your worries and concerns with someone can really help so do give them a call. The number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm abd Saturday 9 to 2pm.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator

Hi silkrug,

I am so sorry you find yourself in this awful situation. Do ring the helpline I’m sure you’ll find it helpful and do use these boards for support.

I can’t say much that will take your fear away completely. I don’t want to give you false hope but there is still the possibility that it isn’t cancer. I had cancer in my right breast and fibroadenoma in my left breast, which I think is like a fatty deposit (there’s probably something on the site about it)

I know it is frightening,but even if it turns out to be cancer, there are all sorts of treatments depending on the type. You should be able to continue to be paid, at least for some time, and there are benefits available - this is something the helpline may be able to advise you about.

Survival rates and treatments are improving all the time. You can get through this. Please,when you feel up to it, let us know how things are. Sending you good wishes and a hug, Julie

I was so sad to read your post and I don’t know what to say to you apart from you WILL get through this, day by day, but you do need the support of your friends and family. I know this sounds strange but your work colleagues will be a huge support if you confide in them and hopefully your employers will be supportive like mine have. I know you feel like you are out of control of this situation and that have been run over by a lorry but wait for the results, take one appointment at a time and research everything you can on this website or MacMillan. Avoid other websites at all costs.
It is the waiting between appointments which makes things worse but keep yourself positive and busy and I am keeping everything crossed for you. Please let us know how you go
Lol xxx

Hi Silkrug,

Waiting is so tough, I know how you feel, I am 31 and going for Mammogram on Friday, as 2 lumps found.
You’ll get lots of support on here from everyone.
I find taking one day at time helps as some days are easier then others.

Sending you happy thoughts XX

Hi there. I really do sympathise with you. I’m feeling exactly the same. I have a visible lump next to my nipple which makes the breast retracted and also sore nipple and pains in the breast. I had a biopsy yesterday and get my results on Friday. The waiting is sheer torture. I feel ill with worry, cannot sleep or eat and cry constantly. I wish you every luck and as everyone else says, lets try to take it one step at a time. Don’t go trawling through the internet thinking you can find answers. I have done that and made myself feel 100 times worse. Take care, Love Debbie xxxxx

Hi Silkrug, how are you doing? Are you ok? Just re-reading my saved discussions and you were very distressed, hope things are better for you. Happy and Healthy New Year
Lorraine xxx