That is so promising! I’m only just coming up for half way through my treatment and the change in it and how little I can feel it now is so encouraging for me, especially when I’m feeling a bit low about it all.
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Woo hoo to all the beautiful buzz cuts 
If anyone needs a giggle, here’s an insight in to how chemo brain fog hit me today…
As I was walking through Asda towards the exit, I inexplicably took a big puff on my vape! The security guard clocked me and in that moment I suddenly realised what I was doing. As he reminded me I cannot vape in the store, I tried to hold in the smoke in my mouth!! I apologised profusely while my best mate laughed her arse off 
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@toad @sunshine-smile too and Team
… thankyou for the posts - keeping my spirits up with comfort and wise advice. i had second dose EC Friday just gone… am cold capping at the moment but hair is rapidly falling out and had the most disconcerting feeling of a clump sliding down my leg in the shower - which bizzarly made me laugh - then realised i was the crazy lady laughing by self in the shower! Also slightly intrigued as to how i could rock a buzz cut so maybe will hang on for a bit longer and then just own it! Proud of us.
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@dianne3 I know the weight thing is the pits, and I am speaking as someone who lost 2.5 stone on WW and then spent 10 years as a WW leader/coach helping others lose weight. And I probably need to lose that again as it’s crept back on over a few years since I hit 50, but I looked back at my time working for WW and whenever a member came and told me they’d been diagnosed with cancer, of any kind, I always said their priority had to be fighting that, not counting points/calories/syns or anything else.
All you can do is listen to your body, and try to eat healthily, but if you want the cream cake, have the cream cake! I actually lost 1kg between my first 2 EC doses, but I didn’t eat much the first few days with nausea, and have been having smaller portions of main meals (using a smaller plate) so I don’t overload my tummy. But then if I want a piece of toast a few hours later, I have it.
This time my tongue is a bit sore, I can eat but anything too rough like toast, crisps, biscuits etc isn’t working very well which is probably a good thing. I’m not sure I’ll lose a kg again this cycle, but I live in hope!
Anyway, I just wanted to say you’re not alone, it’s hard, and just another thing to get us down, but I figure it’s a problem for this time next year. Not now. And although I feel bad about my weight, not one nurse, doctor, consultant or anyone else I have met at the hospital over countless appointments this year has said a word about it. So if they’re not worried, and they just want us to get well, then that’s god enough for me 
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Just wanted to say well done for everyone who has braved the shave the last few days. My shaved hair is still hanging in there, I washed it on Friday and a fair bit came out but no bald patches yet. Yesterday I went out in the garden sporting a baseball cap (it feels less “chemo patient”) and did some snipping back of overgrown bushes. So that was exciting. And today we have had a family walk, again in my baseball cap, and I did just over 4 miles which was fantastic - that’s the first “proper” walk I’ve done since I was diagnosed, which sounds awful but that was the end of February and with me normally working weekends, all the various scans and tests, 2 surgeries and their respective healing times then into chemo it just hasn’t happened. But we decided now we know this is a “good” weekend we will plan a walk for each middle weekend and go out whatever the weather .
Hugs to anyone who needs one. I hope you’ve all had good weekends too.
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Thankyou for all your advice on the weight issue ladies, it has helped me to focus on what I can control and be a bit kinder to myself. 
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@rosiebob I had that in the shower yesterday, made me panic a little until I realised what it was! I’m always laughing and talking to myself when I’m alone, I thought it was normal! xx
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Oh dianne, I so sympathise. I put on a hideous amount of weight during chemo and to add to the agony, I really wasn’t eating that much. However, the good news is that it does come off and I am now back to below the weight level when I was first diagnosed. I always think this is a particularly mean-minded side effect. When you’re seriously ill, you should at least have the comfort of looking thin, pale and interesting. I was round as an apple, my cheeks went red and as I spent my time mostly watching Say Yes to the Dress, I certainly wasn’t interesting! So I had to endure the horror of everyone telling me how well (for well read fat) I looked.
You will just have to eat as healthily as possible but don’t stress it too much because you have other things to concentrate on. The chemo blubber will disappear, of that you can be sure.
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Okay, so here we go. It was so lovely to have all of my family with me and my bestie on FaceTime with me too - made it so much easier. I think it was easier for my boys too to see the process, rather than just suddenly being bald (almost)!
Before - I’m usually curly, but since I had it trimmed I’ve just been brushing it. This was this morning:
And this is after the buzz cut!!
I’m finding it a little drafty but okay otherwise xx
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@teddy271 you are so right it is cruel, I’ve found myself stressing over it so much the last couple of days thinking I’m going to be the size of a house by the end of treatment. I’ve spent my whole life dieting and had just got to a good place with my weight. To top it all my BP has spiked high over the last couple of days but I am injecting filgrastim (day 3). I don’t remember it being this bad last time, has anyone else suffered with high BP. I don’t want to call the Rapid Response in case they say go to A and E - last visit was a 9 hour wait for an ambulance and a 12 hour stay in A and E. It is measuring from 160/77 to 146/98. I have to measure it on the right forearm as PICC line is in the upper arm and lymph nodes removed on the right arm so was told never to do BP in that arm. I’m wondering if this could be resulting in the high reading? I have had a thumping headache most of the day so think I’ll take a paracetamol and see how it is in the morning.
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Oh my goodness Dianne. You are having a bad go of it. Please be reassured about your weight; it really does come off, slowly but surely. I understand exactly how you feel as I have always struggled with my size and weight gain seemed like the last straw.
But worse was to come as I was diagnosed during Lockdown when the NHS had devised an effective means of cancer control. ‘Go home,’ they said, having told me I needed surgery ‘and we may be operating again in a few months time…’ I am disobedient by nature and not wanting to die at their convenience I got BUPA involved who were incredible and saved my life. Anyway, fast forward to chemo and the oncologist said he always advised his ladies to shave their heads rather than wait for it to fall out because ‘it can clog up the drains.’ The nurse and I gave each other a ‘is he for real’ look and then told him all the hairdressers were shut and he went silent. A friend offered to do it for me but I was afraid I might hate her in the (!) morning so I settled on my dog groomer. Still waiting for the biscuit I was promised…
Wishing you lots of luck
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@teddy271 I couldn’t imagine going through this in a lockdown situation, must have been awful for you. I’m not braving the shave yet as my hair was already short but it is thinning and shedding more. I’m going to cold cap one more time but will have to really psych myself up to do it. This is such a shit show isn’t it 
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@sunshine-smile You look fantastic with the buzz cut 
Loooooove it!
I made the mistake of washing my hair today and I now look like a weird baby hedgehog where the buzz is obviously thinning 
Fortunately I have wigs and head scarves. I also bought 5 very cheap baseball caps from Temu (they reflect different moods I may be in on any given day).
Love and hugs to all. Xxxx
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Honestly you rock a buzz cut! You are giving me confidence to maybe just go for it too…to soften the blow for self and kids… a little disheartening as im shedding all over the place at the mo. and its possible more gets blown away in the wind today! At least its bobble hat season soon! Xxx
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@dianne3 I don’t usually have high blood pressure, in fact recently it’s been low, but on Saturday I went for my bloods and check up and it was raised. They did mine on my forearm as well and I did wonder if it was to do with that. I did consider trying on my right arm, as some views are that it doesn’t in fact cause any additional lymphoma risk - but no one at my hospital seems to be saying that. So yes possibly it could be to do with using the forearm. Do you have anyone else you could test it out on? Do their normal BP then try on forearm and see if it’s raised? Have you tried on your PICC line forearm (that’s where they did mine) xx
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Laughing by self is absolutely perfectly normal and should be embraced! I feel like my life has turned so ridiculous and if i didnt laugh I’d cry which is just too tiring on top of every thing else! I really appreciate everyones messages- this is certainly a humbling but not all negative experience xxx
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@toad and @rosiebob thank you! Honestly I was bowled over by all the positive comments I got from everyone, even if they were just being nice although I’m not sure I will keep it as my mother suggested!
I showered too as the loose hair was driving me a little nuts and yes I know what you mean about the baby hedgehog I think it will all be gone by the end of this week! I saw some advice that said to use a lint roller to get the rest of it off - honestly I didn’t think it was possible to have so little but also so much hair! It will be nice when it’s all gone and I can just stop thinking about hair - until it starts to grow back! Xx
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@rosiebob that is a great description of life at the moment! Have to laugh or the tears would never stop. A few months ago I could never have imagined living with all this and having the attitude I currently seem to have. Seems we are made of stronger stuff than we thought. Or maybe the living with it is better than the thought of it xx
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@sunshine-smile That is a good idea, I’ll take hubby’s BP when he gets home in both areas, upper and forearm. I do feel a bit better this morning, going to drink lots of water today and have a little walk. I did read on internet last night that if it was a sentinel lymph node biopsy that the risk of lymphoedema is lesser than if multiple lymph nodes were taken. Thanks for your advice everyone, onwards and upwards. I am going to a skincare and makeup workshop tomorrow so will let you know how I get on. Have a good day everyone xxx
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Hi all,
Just to say that I’m so impressed with all of you have who have braved the shave. You all genuinely look beautiful . It’s giving me courage to do it myself at some point - I’m still working up to it but seeing how wonderful you all look definitely helps.
Love of love for another week ahead!
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