My aunt who was originally dx with breast cancer 18 years ago…bone secondaries 3 years ago and stomach secondaries 6 months ago…was told yesterday by a Pallative Care Consultant she has approx 6 months to live.
She has been seeing her oncologist every year since dx…[her choice]…he has never discussed her present condition with her, she didn’t even know what Pallative Care was…she was just sent the appointment…she has been told to cancel her appointments for bone strengthener she has been having every 3 weeks as it is not going to make any difference to her condition as the stomach cancer is the problem…the Pallative Care Consultant was shocked that she had not been told anything by her oncologist he just referred her to Pallative Care…he actually rang my aunt last sunday and apologised for not being in clinic the last time she went and said the x-ray she had showed ‘’ nothing untoward ‘’!!..
I think its disgusting that her oncologist let her find out this way…not that him telling her would of made it any easier, but out of decency I feel he should of explained things.
She is still trying to carry on as best she can, but as you can imagine her head is all over the place.
I just pray her last months will not be spent suffering too much.
Hi karen
I am sorry that no one has replied to your post. It’s not that we don’t care - it’s just that this new website has made it hard to find new posts like this.
I was told 6- 12 months over 3 years ago,(when they found liver mets) then 3-6 months 12 months ago. (when they found brain mets)now i’ve stopped asking! I think that it is important to remember that all the specialists can give you is their ‘best guess’. Lots of the ladies on this site will tell you and your aunt that you don’t have a date stamped on your foot, no one really knows for sure when it’s your time. It might be later, it might be sooner than the date they give you.
I think it’s also important to remember that the palliative care team have a mich wider role now than they used to. I see people from that team often but their main job is to help me sort out my pain relief. We almost never talk about me dying - and if we do it’s only if I choose to bring it up.
Finally you may want to suggest to your aunt that she gets a second opinion. Lots of people ask to be referred to the royal Marsden in London or another ‘centre of excellence’ nearer to them. They can look at your aunts current treatment plan and see if they have any suggestions. Remember these are the people who are really working at the cutting edge of all that is available in cancer treatment nowadays. It is likely that they know about stuff that your aunts current team have yet to hear of
I hope that some of the other ladies here get back to you soon but meanwhile take care and gentle (((hugs))) to your aunt
Love mx
As Tillycat says, please accept our aplogies for not replying to you before now. I have put for you below links to some of BCC’s publications regarding secondary bc which you may find helpful to read. Also, please do phone the helpline here, the staff have a wealth of knowledge and information and will be only too happy to talk to you. Calls to the helpline are free 0808 800 6000 lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2
The original post was dated 2009! Not sure her Aunt will still be alive unless she is and this was meant to happen to remind us all never to give up hope…
Hmm
Such a shame it disappeared without anyone responding. Maybe it reappeared for a reason - I was diagnosed as stage iv one month after this lady. Given 6-12 months and here I am 3 years later. My onc was a bit down about my liver function today - maybe I should show him my post and ask him to stop doing this negative thing to me
Mx
It is very interesting to read of people being told they have "approximately 6 - 12 months "etc. My husband had a very aggressive brain tumour and his consultant told us that despite the fact that it was aggressive, VERY aggressive, giving a timespan with a window of any less than 18 months from worst case scenario to best was almost impossible, precisely because everyone is different…
I suppose it all depends on the consultant assessing and giving the information, as much as anything else.
I was given a poor prognosis in the year 2000 and I am still here alive and kicking. Not 100% but still here. Val
Just where did that post form 2009 come from??