back at work knackered

I went back to work last week and did a couple of shifts 5 hours long that’s all.I have a lovely job assisting two gents to live in their own home. No physical work at all. I came home today after 5 hours and I am absolutely shattered. My daughter who is 8 months pregnant turned up with my other daughters little 18 month old. His mum, my other daughter had had a little girl yesterday and is still in hospital. She wanted to go up right away to see her with the little boy. Instead of saying no I will have to lie down for a bit I made allsorts of mumbling reasons why I couldn’t drive through Friday teatime traffic. In the end she stormed out shouting. Why am I so tired. I finished chemo in May and am now on herceptin. I have had two serious infection via hickman line the last one 4 weeks ago. I have had a cold since then. I am sorry for moaning but I feel so exhausted. I read some posts and I know w’re al different but I seem to be taking ages to get some stamina. I am not sure if it herceptin that is making me tired is anyone else this tired? Going tomorrow for 5 hour shift and dreading the fatigue. nOT READING THIS THROUGH BEFORE i SEND IT OR i WILL BE TOO ASHAMED FOR WHINING LOL LOVE eILEEN

Oh Eileen

huge hugs.

well done for getting back to work, and i am not the slightest bit surprised you’re exhausted. Apart from getting through the cancer, with the emotional as well as physical turmoil, you’ve had a recent infection followed by a cold. The fact that you still have a cold makes me think your immune system has yet to recover. Have a really quiet evening and rest! None of us are super beings.

Congratulations on the birth of your new granddaughter - I expect that, had you not been so tired, you’d have leapt at the chance to see mother and daughter, and i was sad to hear your daughter left upset. She’s pregnant too - and i remember well how my brain didn’t really work so well when i was pregnant, and how insular i became. Give her a call and say how sad you were not to be able to take her to the hospital, but, being so tired you’d have been putting you all at risk by driving, especially at rush hour. Hope her baby is born safely too.

so, take care and huge hugs. you are not whining, just incredibly tired.

love

ruth x

O Eileen

Dont be ashamed - were all entitled to a whine. Our bodies have been through so much its no surprise that we have no stamina. I was late for a scan the other day and was rushing - had a very very very short run to try to speed myself up and my chest was heaving and sore, as were my legs - up until June I was at the gym 4 to 5 times a week and fit as a fiddle - can barely remember those days.

I have been back at work, non clinical - doing 2 71/2 hour shifts per week for the last month - basically shuffling paperwork (normally a nurse), and am knackered at the end of the day.

so dont beat yourself up. We have all had a rough time and its gonna take a long time to get ‘normal’ again - whatever that is!!

Take care
Fiona
x

Thanks so much for reassuring words ladies. I have seen my new grandaughter last night and spent all night at the hospital whilst she was in labour. I would normally have gone again but took one of the chaps to Manchester and felt so worn out. I used to be so fit even though I am 57. I swam walked etc I wish I could stop feeling so wimpy. I am also bad tempered !!! thanks again love this site can moan away lol love Eileen

Oh boy I am due to start chemo in about 2 weeks and scared as I do not know what to expect.

I feel as fit as a flea at the moment and trying to be optimistic.

I value your honesty.

Love to all of you.

Hi Eileen

Oh bless your heart - like the others have said, don’t beat yourself up over this. No wonder you’re tired, and having a cold aswell obviously doesn’t help. I would just have a word with your daughter and explain how you’re feeling. I think people seem to think that as soon as we’ve had our chemo/op/rads, we’re instantly back to normal - which as we all know, is so not the case.

You take it easy this weekend, and congratulations on your new granddaughter by the way !

Lots of love

Julie xx

Wow Eileen,
sounds like there is a lot going on in your life at present - how lovely to have new little grandchildren especially around Christmas. it does sound like you are trying to do a lot and although I’m sure you want to help (and i’m sure your daughters know this) your body is still recoverying from a heck of a lot. Try not to overdo it or you’ll make yourself ill. driving in heavy traffic in the dark with a toddler on board isn’t easy - you need to be on top form! Surely there is someone else who can help out with this bit? try and have a restful weekend - I’m sure you are giving your daughters a lot of emotional support - perhaps someone else can do more of the physical stuff
cheers
caroline

again thanks for replies. I used to be like superwoman hd 6 kids always worked swam walked sewed scrapbooked always rushing about a bit controlling with the kids perhaps. Now all I want is to be left alone because I can’t seem to get through to my family that although I am not bedridden with taxotere!!! as I am sure some of you have experienced. I am still nowhere near the person I was. I have read a few times on this site that this is one of the issues of when treatment has finished your hair is growing back and you look ok then you must be fine. I AM NOT FINE. I am tired scared sometimes depressed but trying to get on with it. It does help going on these forums as there are so many people to admire and I gain a bit of strength from their posts. I know that what I feel is so common. Plus you can’t forget BC as every day it crops up in the media, which is a good thing but hard to get on with life when it is always in the news well rant over thanks for listening love Eileen

Hi billiejeanking

I am sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis. I am sure you will receive lots of helpful advice and support from the other forum users, in addition, you are welcome to contact our freephone helpline on 0808 800 6000 where you are able to talk to someone in confidence about how the concerns you have about chemo. The line is open Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm, Saturdays 9am - 2pm.

Breast Cancer Care have a Resources Pack which you may find helpful to read, it is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. You can download it from the following link or you can ask for a copy to be sent to you via the helpline:

breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514

I hope you find this helpful.

Kind Regards

Lucy
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care

Hello Eileen and congratulations on your new grandchildren.

I’m sorry that you’re feeling exhausted. I understand very well what you’re going through.

People expect us to be completely back to normal now and just don’t understand how we feel. I find myself pretending to be cheerful when I certainly don’t feel it. Like you Eileen, I’m still very tired and coping with mild side effects from Herceptin. I’ve also got horrible hot flushes and sweats from Aromasin. In addition to that there’s the horrible fear of secondaries. I’m trying to get back to normal but am finding it difficult.

I hope your next shift goes OK Eileen and that you don’t get too tired.
Take care
Love Anthi

Hi Eileen

Have a look at a thread called Feeling Down under the after treatment has finished category. You might find you are certainly not alone and probably tryong to do too much my love

You take care of yourself

Dilys
xxx

Eileen

I think it is you daughter who should be feeling ashamed and not you and I hope she apologises (although we all know that others find our illness just as frustrating as we do)

A friend of mine had her op, chemo and rads and her tiredness was at it’s very worst 6 months after she finished her treament - she said that she fell in a heap on returning to work and awoke one morning feeling completely shattered and had a real battle with it.

I am hoping to return to work soon and yout email has juast made me think I will wait until after rads have finished.

I hope that you feel better soon and manage to take it steady in between working - that is the other problem with going back to work - you still have the same jobs to do at home and less time to do them in - so more added pressure. Do not be suprised you are feeling it!

All the best

Kate

Hi Eileen,

my sympathies are with you here. Im in exactly the same situation. Im 57, diagnosed February, Mastectomy, chemo and rads and now on Arimidex. And started back to work 2 weeks ago (only on 1 night a week at present. Normally I work 2-3 nights a week with adults with learning disabilities)
Everyone says “how well you look” "arent you doing well" but they dont see me when I go home or when Im having a not so good day or when Im awake half the night with sweats, hot flushes etc. My family, exect for my husband who sees how I am, thinks that Im now OK and can get back to living life at the pace THEY want me to. And I cant. Im not moaning about them as they have been as supportive as they can but I get the feeling they think its now all over and I should get on with life and be back to the person I used to be. But Im slowly learning to say NO and not feel guilty. I dont know what life holds ahead and I`m going to start living it a bit more for me now.

I`m sure that you and your daughter will soon be back on good terms and I do hope you really enjoy your new grandchild. But also take care of yourself.

Love and hugs
Margaret

It is a problem that when you start to look fine, all sorts of people from loved ones to work colleagues, think you are cured! You ave been through so much physically and on top have had an infection and cold recently (enough to put most men in bed for a wk!)

Don’t beat yourself up, take your time and pace yourself. This is good advice given to me on my return to work. I had a phased return, 1st wk 3hrs, 2nd 5hrs, 3rd 8hrs, for a few wks then after 7 wks, 2 full days, 6 hrs plus per day. I’m a teacher and have a staff meet on 1 day and an activity evening on the other so my days are nearer 9 hrs with travelling.

I usually chill out on the fri after my 2 days work, wkends free to visit family etc, mon tue to do school prep and my own design work. This wk I worked 3 days ontop of a busy few days travelling and visiting family 300 miles away (I drove all way both ways) and must say 5 days later I am still knackered!

Congrats on the little new grand daughter too.

Love Irene