After being diagnosed in July 2019 followed by chemo, mastectomy, node clearance & radiotherapy I have gone back to work, having been off for 11 months. Shouldn’t have been off that long but had to shield for 4 months. I have gone back on a phased return and am now at the end of that. I normally work 4 on 4 off, 10 hours a day. I have been doing 5 hours or 7 hours, 4 days a week. This week I have done two 10 hour shifts and I’m soooo tired, I am supposed to be going back to my normal hours next week but am finding the whole thing quite hard. It’s quite a high pressure job, I’m a supervisor for a transport company and am on the go most of the 10 hours, phones, emails, problems, loud colleagues (!) etc.
I have read other messages on here about lack of concentration and forgetfulness which is how I am feeling. I keep thinking ‘stop being so pathetic’, you’ve been doing the job for 26 years, get on with it’. But I am finding it quite hard, I just feel like crying (which I have been tonight) but that’s maybe the tiredness.
I’m not sure how long I’m able to phase back in, when I asked my manager a couple of weeks ago if I could do an extra week of 7 hours a day he basically said he’d authorise an extra week. I got the impression from that comment that he wasn’t planning on letting me do anymore phased hours.
I mentioned the fact that I was very tired and was finding 10 hours hard work to my husband and he didn’t appear to be that interested. I’m not sure if it’s just because he doesn’t know what to say, the problem is we work at the same place and there’s issues going on at work at the moment and things are a bit shaky as to wether we’ll have a job in a few months so that doesn’t help.
Do I just need to get a grip and get back to normal or am I pushing it? I just think that I’ve been off 11 months and I should be fit to work full time now.
I’m full of admiration for what you’re achieving but a bit cross with you for being drawn towards the ‘snap out of it/pull yourself together’ line of thinking. We all react differently to treatment and none of us is safe from a bolt out of the blue after treatment. I was recovering quite well last summer after a horrible time during chemo. Then fatigue hit me. Not every day, not always in the same way, but it wasn’t tiredness, so, coming up to my 2nd anniversary of spotting my symptoms, today the most I have managed is to shower, dress and blow dry my hair! I am shattered. I could never hold down a full-time job, let alone do 10 hour shifts!
Do you belong to a trade union? If not, look very closely at the Equalities Act which protects your rights as a registered disabled employee (legal requirement for employers on being informed of a cancer diagnosis). You should also consider ringing Macmillan for practical advice. If you are armed with facts, you may not need a confrontation with your boss, regardless of the rolling eyes and lack of sympathy.
I hope this gets resolved. The fact is you can’t push your body (or your mind) further than it’s able to go and unfortunately cancer treatment can affect both mind and body way longer than we/other people expect. Meanwhile, please go easy on yourself. I bet you’re running a household too! Look for things that can be cut out, reallocated, shared and things you can do to ensure your rest is truly restful.Above all, tell that voice in your head to **whatever** Because it’s not helping. You need kindness not a kick up the bum xx
sorry you’re feeling like this, if any help at all I’m back to 2x 12hr shifts a week and I’m exhausted and in pain! I spend the days after my second shift on pain killers… I’m not sure whether I’ve pushed it too much or whether this is it how and I need to get used to it.
I Don’t want to be a burden on my workmates especially as we’re heading into a second wave (I work as a nurse) but my goodness I didn’t expect this, considering I finished radio in March this year.
it’s been a month since you posted, how you feeling now?